Month: March 2015

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge Weeks 12 and 13

Posted on by erranteditor

I’ve been in a daze the last few days. I’m on spring break, so I have been trying to tackle the hardest mission of moving: spring cleaning.

So far I’ve filled two boxes, five bags, and an entire rubbish bin. I have no idea where all this stuff came from. Every time I think I got things down to a manageable level, I find more things that need to go with me. I know that I should be excited about the move and my upcoming position, but I am just getting more and more stressed. I am having a really hard time finding a place to live, still do not have the paperwork I need for my visa, and I have yet to figure out how to get all of my stuff to Scotland with me. I found out this week that I will now be attending a conference in at the end of June in England, and while I should be excited about that, I find myself a little more stressed. I feel like I do not have enough time to make this all happen.

I’m trying not to stress. I really am.

Which brings me to the gratitude challenge for last week and this week.

Last week’s topic covered a personality trait that I am most proud of, and this week covers something that I have overcome.

That one is easy.

The one thing that I am proud that I have overcome is the whole sorted mess with CSUF. I got kicked out of the program after being bullied for a year, and in less than three months, I have already managed to pick myself up and move on to a much better place in life. I may not be around long enough to see that program and the people who run it get what they deserve, but I am so happy that I was able to escape mostly intact. I have 68 days until I leave and can put this all behind me, and in the meantime, I am going to make sure that I can be as much at peace with what happened as I can.

That leads me to last week’s challenge: a personality trait that I consider my favorite. I would have to say that is my ability to worry and stress over everything.

I kid, I kid…..kinda.

Beside my sarcasm and snark, my favorite personality trait is my perseverance. There have been more than a few times that I wanted to just pull the blankets over my head and call it a day. I almost quit so many times before I got the boot against my will. I almost gave up on my dream of moving back to Scotland and getting my life sorted in the one place that I am truly happy. I know that my perseverance will allow me to make it through the next few weeks and get everything sorted before I leave the US for good. I also know that my perseverance is what is going to allow me to succeed when I finally settle in my home.

“You must read, you must persevere, you must sit up nights, you must inquire, and exert the utmost power of your mind. If one way does not lead to the desired meaning, take another; if obstacles arise, then still another; until, if your strength holds out, you will find that clear which at first looked dark.”
― Giovanni Boccaccio

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge Week 11

Posted on by erranteditor

I’m way behind. Way way way behind with the challenge. It is to the point now that I feel guilty when I miss the post, and it gnaws on me. That being said, I have been grading poorly written midterms, celebrating birthdays, and minorly freaking out that the paperwork for my new life in Scotland is not yet complete. March is almost over, and I need my passport on June 5th, so the days are slowly trickling away. I’m starting to freak out and stress a bit.

But, back to the challenge. I’m supposed to be focused on the good, not the bad.

Week 11 is all about a person that inspires me. This was hard for me. I’ve spent a long time with my head buried in the sand lately, so it is hard for me to really think of who really inspires me.

There are a lot of people that would fall under this category, but I ultimately settled on a fellow gypsy soul, who not only understands the value of seeing the world, but does a pretty amazing job of writing about his adventures along the way.

Nathan and I met in 2009 when we both registered for a literature class dedicated to Mark Twain. I was working for Professor Gregg Camfield at the time as a project manager for the updating and renovating of the museum at Angle’s Camp. The class served as research assistants, and each of us was in charge of putting together a small presentation for the Mark Twain exhibit. I was in charge of keeping everything together, and for helping the museum map out how the exhibit would come together. Nathan and I got to know each other over discussions of literature, and then the poor guy got to know me even better (or at least see me in my penguin pajamas more than anyone should) when he started dating my roommate. After I graduated from UC Merced and moved to San Diego for my MA, Nathan and I would occasionally chat through Facebook, but I would not call our relationship more than a casual acquaintance.

It was actually writing that offered us a chance to reconnect. When I moved to Scotland the first time, Nathan was one of my original readers. Despite not actually seeing each other since 2009, social media and the internet has allowed us to have some interesting discussions about books, writing, and the need to travel.

After he graduated from college with a degree in Art History, he found himself in a life that was not making him happy, so he did what many of us would never have the courage to do, he quit his job and bought a one way ticket to Europe. He started a blog, and has been making money by writing and chronicling his adventures as he explores every corner of Europe. You can find his writing here: http://lifeisacamino.com/

This is the part of him that really inspires me. I spent a long time thinking that there was something wrong with me because the thing in life that made me happy was traveling. I do not know many people that love adventure and writing as much as I do, but Nathan is definitely one of them. His writing skills, honesty, and sense of adventure makes me jealous more often than not, but reaffirms my desire to travel and explore the world as much as I can.

Sadly, his adventure is about to come to an end. He will return home in May, and hopefully he continues to write and explore, and be a gypsy soul. He has inspired me to write more of my travels, and not second guess my choice to be a wanderer while I am still able.

“There’s a race of men that don’t fit in,
A race that can’t sit still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin, And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain’s crest; Their’s is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don’t know how to rest.”
― Robert W. Service

The Scamp Jumps

Posted on by erranteditor

I turned 28 by jumping out of an airplane. It is one of the most thrilling, and stupid things that I have ever done.

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I signed away my entire life, and talked my dad into doing the same thing. I am really not sure why I wanted to jump out of a plane, other than the fact that it was as close to an adventure as I could get right now. I wanted to know how it would feel to fly. My mom and brother trooped out to the lovely little city (extreme sarcasm) of Perris, and after a two hour wait, it was time to fly.

10153956_10152529105021887_296670051940434955_n       11043095_10152529105011887_7374178135583596849_nAfter getting suited up, taping a pre-jump interview, an awesome flight suit, and some safety instructions, it was time to board the plane. I was lucky enough to get the good looking Brad. He was a great guy. He laughed, joked, and made sure that I was entirely comfortable the whole time. If I did not have my heart set on getting out of the US as fast as possible, I would have flirted with him a lot more….well, more than sitting in his lap and holding on to him while he got our parachute untangled.

I have no words for how incredible it was to jump out of the plane. It wasn’t the stomach dropping excitement of being on a roller coaster, or the scary feeling you get when an airplane dips while flying, but it is an incredible rush. You forget to breathe, forget to be afraid, forget that you are even hurling toward the earth.  I loved the free fall. I’m not sure my dad felt the same way.

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The adorable Brad let me steer the parachute, we played merry-go-round with the cameraman, and practiced some crazy turns that left me feeling really a bit sick. I did not land gracefully. Brad ended up on top of me, and I managed to get myself tangled in the parachute, but it was worth it. A funny thing happened to me when I landed. All of the adrenaline finally left my body, and I got a bit sick. I didn’t know if I should puke or pass out, and I very well almost did both.

Not sexy.

Brad was great about it, and once I was free of the jumpsuit, I found a nice spot on the grass to lay down for a bit. I got a shirt, video, and pictures to mark the day. I plan on taking the picture they printed out for me to Scotland to hang on my wall.

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I finished off the day with a dinner with the wombmate and her friends. While it was not really how I wanted to spend my birthday, it was fun, and she enjoyed herself.

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28 is starting off with a bang. Now I have three months to find a flat and figure out how to ship my stuff to Scotland. Where is the apartment fairy when you need her?

The Scamp’s Last Day of Her 27th Year

Posted on by erranteditor

I’m going to go on record and say 27 has by far been the worst year of my life. I think I cried 300 of the 365 days since my last birthday, and I am not sad that it has come to an end. I spent the day avoiding work and judging a speech and debate tournament at the community college. It was not the most exciting day, but it was not a bad day.

Normally I would list all of the horrible things that happened to me while I was 27, but instead, I am going to choose this moment to do Week 10 of the Gratitude Challenge. It is a much better use of my time. The challenge for this week is to list 5 things that I like about myself. I’m not completely sure I can think of 5 things that go beyond the superficial, but I am going to give it a shot.

1. I like that I have found a way to make my students enjoy grammar. Last semester it was touch and go, but with a little humor (and some cat videos) I have managed to really get the concepts through to my students. They give me the courtesy laugh when my jokes are corny, and a few of them actually ask questions during the lectures.

2. I like that I can read trashy detective novels and watch bad reality TV without actually losing brain cells. I watch a lot of reality TV when I am stressed, and the last year has been extremely stressful. Despite all of that, I still feel like I have a good amount of intelligence left.

3. On the superficial level, I really like my nose. When I was younger, I thought my nose was huge. I thought that it was long and gave me a horrible profile. Turns out, my refusal to pose normally is what gives me a horrible profile.

4. I like my sense of adventure. For the past two years I have been trying to figure out why I wasn’t content to just stay in one place in the same routine. My gypsy soul has taken me to some crazy places, and allowed me to meet so many amazing people. I love traveling, and have been very fortunate lately to go all over the globe. The sense of adventure, and the constant traveling has taught me how to plan, how to be more curious, and how to be a more patient person. I used to get frustrated when I got lost, or when things did not go as planned. I would cry a lot over it. Now, I am a lot more easy going, and a lot more willing to go with the flow if there is traffic, delays, and even if I get lost.

5. I like my fortitude and perseverance. As much as this sucked (thanks to the break-up, getting kicked out of grad school, being bullied), I did not give up. I took the abuse and harassment from the program for almost a year. I was willing to stick it out to get the dumb degree and go back overseas. I tried to fight the good fight, I did not compromise my values for them. I did a lot of yoga, watched a lot of kitty and puppy videos, and shed a lot of tears in the process, but I never quit. Although they ended up winning that battle, I won the war. I am mostly emotionally intact, and I am happy to say that I am moving on to bigger and most certainly better.

I am happy to announce that starting at the end of June, I will officially be an expat again. I secured a position at a university in Edinburgh that will allow me to earn a PhD, and do some very important research. The position is fully funded, and provides a stipend that will help offset living expenses. This position could not be more perfect for me. I’m so glad that the supervisors of the project felt the same way. To them I am not a racist who plagiarized for academic gain, to them I am a capable woman with excellent research and communication skills. To them, I am the perfect member of their team, and someone that is going to help shape their research.

This position is a fresh start. I get to move back to Scotland. This is the happiest that I have felt in a really long time.

Securing this position is a pretty darn good way to end the worst year of my life.