Month: September 2015

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 38 and 39

Posted on by erranteditor

I should be writing.

I should be writing emails and notes for my dissertation.

I should be working my butt off to get a paper ready for editing in just four short months.

I should not be sitting on my couch, still in my pjs watching Top Chef and pretending that having the articles open is the same thing as working.

I should get back in the habit of doing yoga everyday.

I just want to crawl back in bed. I picked up a second job (3rd if you think of the PhD as its own job) and having worked all week learning the ins and outs of the center left me dead.

I just keep rereading last week’s post and reminding myself that I am really stinking happy in Scotland, and once things settle down with the new job I will get back in the groove of a routine and that will hopefully up my productivity.

Week 38 in the gratitude challenge is all about my favorite music. This one is an easy one. I love music. I will give anything a try, and have everything from Ska to country to electroswing on my ipod, and my favorite thing to do is to make song based playlists for my commute to work and back. Music  helps me work, helps me move through yoga routines, and helps make me feel better when I am sad. One of my faults is that I tend to be very negative about situations, and think the worst of myself and situations I get into. When I spend too much time in silence, my brain goes crazy, and I get into the dark and twisty. I currently live alone, so I always have music playing when I am at home. When I can feel myself going to the dark and twisty, I put on some of the most upbeat music I have on my ipod and dance around my place while I clean.

It always makes me feel better.

I am going to put together a mini playlist of some of my favorite songs, since it is much more to listen to them than have me ramble on about them.

While there are plenty more to chose from, I feel this gives a bit of an idea of my go to songs to make me feel better. I have about 20,000 songs on my ipod, so I am never short of good music.

Week 39 is a harder one for me. This week is all about heritage.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines heritage as:

Valued objects and qualities such as historic buildings and cultural traditions that have been passed down from previous generations:Europe’s varied cultural heritage

This one falls on an interesting week as it is Jewish New Year. It is tradition that is important to my heritage and reminds me to reflect and really think about who am I am and the choices that I make in life. This last year has been really difficult and really horrible, and really fucking fantastic. I am grateful for my heritage and my values and traditions, but I often feel like I do not fit into that mold. I consider myself a gypsy soul, and because of that, I feel like I do not have a real set heritage. I just want to wander the world and learn as much as I can. That does not really lend itself well to tradition.

I’ve recently had the opportunity to meet a real gypsy. He was born in the French Alps, but has lived all over the world. He hates being called French, speaks with a mix of Scottish and French accent, and his idea of the perfect place to live is western Australia. We met by chance, but he is one of the first people I have ever had a conversation with who really understood the need to wander, and reluctance to be defined by where you are born, or where you grew up. We had some great conversation, and I think it could really be the start of a great friendship.

I think that is one of the things that I am most grateful for about my adopted gypsy soul heritage. It is allowing me to meet so many interesting people and live this pretty funky life. I cannot wait to see where I move to next, and the type of people that I will meet when I do. As for the heritage of my youth, I feel like some of the Jewish traditions that I observe and practice allow me to really reflect on myself as a person, and really remember that I have the strength and perseverance to move through  life doing the things I love.

…and that works just fine for me.

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 37

Posted on by erranteditor

This one is a good week for me. This week is all about being grateful for something that I created. Brace yourself, this post is about to be sappy as hell.

You’ve been warned.

I’ve created a lot of things that I am proud of, but I think what I am most grateful for is the life that I am currently creating in Scotland. I have finally figured my shit out.

Finally.

The last month and change has been really good for me. There was a bit of time there when I was trying to sort the visa out that I thought I was never going to actually get to come back here and live. I was really good at going to the dark and twisty. When I got here, and lasted a week, before I had to go back to the States, I was sure that the university was going to fire me and that I was going to be unemployed and sad on my mom’s couch forever.

Luckily, none of that happened. I had a drink with a colleague, and someone fast becoming a friend, and after hanging out and talking about work and life, and having some really tasty drinks, I walked home and realized that I was ridiculously happy. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy. I forgot what the feeling was like. At first I thought it was just the last shot of Sailor Jerry, but it when it didn’t go away the next day, or even today, I finally figured out what it was. I’m freaking happy. Really freaking happy.

This comes at the perfect time, as tonight marks the start of Rosh Hashanah, which means the Jewish new year is upon us. It is strange because I don’t really remember celebrating last year, other than using it as the perfect excuse to leave class early. There really isn’t a temple around here, and really no Jewish people, so this year I am going to enjoy my apples and honey, and really think about all the crazy shit that has happened, and what I learned from it. So, while everyday isn’t perfect, and some days I get a little sad, or I feel extra tired, on the whole, life is pretty fucking great for me right now.

I’m going to enjoy the happy feeling. The really great happy feeling.

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 36

Posted on by erranteditor

Week 36 is all about my home.

Home is an interesting word for me. It has been commonly defined as:

home
noun
  1. 1.
    the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.
    “the floods forced many people to flee their homes”
  2. 2.
    an institution for people needing professional care or supervision.
    “an old people’s home”
adjective
  1. 1.
    relating to the place where one lives.
    “I don’t have your home address”
  2. 2.
    (of a sports fixture) played at the team’s own ground.
    “their first home match of the season”
adverb
  1. 1.
    to or at the place where one lives.
    “what time did he get home last night?”
verb
  1. 1.
    (of an animal) return by instinct to its territory after leaving it.
    “a dozen geese homing to their summer nesting grounds”
2.
move or be aimed towards (a target or destination) with great accuracy.
“more than 100 missiles were launched, homing in on radar emissions”
In regards to the way that I think about home, on a more literal level, there is a lot to love about my flat. It is the perfect size for me, it is in a crazy cool old building, the neighborhood is relatively safe, and everything that I need is in walking distance. Now that more of my things have arrived, the place has a lived in, “Kim” feel to it (the rubber ducks really make the place). I spend a lot of time in my little reading nook with my academic articles, and I am seriously considering buying a big comfy dog bed so I have something soft to sit on while working. All in all, my little home is perfect for me.
A little art on the wall next to my building

A little art on the wall next to my building

While I am grateful for my little home, on an elemental level, I am so grateful to Scotland and the place that I really consider my home. It is not so much that I love the place, but more so I love the way I feel when I am here. I’m happier here. I’m more me here. I’m not as stressed, not as grumpy, and I get a whole lot more exercise. Those feelings have me eternally grateful, and I know that my stress level is going to amp up in the next few weeks with school starting, my dissertation in full swing, and the project starting, but I know that at least I get to experience all of those things here, where my little heart feels at home.