Family | The Scamp Abroad

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 50

Posted on December 14, 2015 by erranteditor

I’m a week behind….as usual. The reason I’m only going to play catch-up for this post is that Week 51 is 100 things I am grateful for, and right now, I am having a hard time focusing on one thing.

So, week 50. I’m almost done with the challenge. This is the week that is dedicated to lessons that I have learned in the last year.

What haven’t I learned in the last year? This time last year I was in a meeting at Cal State Fullerton being told that the reason I was not successful in the programme was because I had a bad attitude, and I was forced to come to the realization that incorrectly cited parts of my paper were going to be the straw that broke the camel’s back on what was a horrible two years. I was beyond depressed, I was lonely, I had no money, and I was seriously at a loss for where my life was headed.

Today I woke up in Scotland. While the last couple of weeks have been rough in terms of my depression and anxiety, I am the happiest I have been in years. I’m working on my PhD, I’ve made some new friends and reconnected with some old ones, and have settled into a very very good life. I’m even dating (I promise I did not make him up). Life is not even close to perfect, but it is getting there.

So, what have I learned this year?

I learned the power of family. My family never once wavered with their support when I was battling the programme, and then when I applied for the job here and decided that I was never going back to the United States. My sister in snark offered me advice and puppy love, and my favoruite Russian gave up her time to be my lawyer and try to minimize the damage done to me personally and professionally. My mom and brother got on a plane to come spend a week with me, and my sister sends me care packages and drops everything on the weekends to Skype with me and tell me that the world is not going to end for me anytime soon.

I learned that even on my lowest days, I have a lot to be grateful for. I started this challenge because things were starting to get bad in the programme and I wanted to try and keep myself from falling into the dark and twisty that was my usual MO. Every week I got to remind myself of something that I liked, someone that inspired me, or somewhere that I have had been lucky enough to visit. Even if it was little things like my favourite type of music, or my favourite type of food, it reminded me of things that I enjoy, and allowed me some distance from the things that I didn’t.

I learned the power of being myself. I’m a flamingo in a flock of pigeons, and every day I am a little more proud of that. I’m a nerd. I like books, I like cat videos, puppies, chocolate, and watching horror movies. I overthink everything, I’m awkward, and I am a true gypsy soul. I believe that store brand American peanut butter tastes better than almost anything else, and a quesadilla will solve all of my problems. I like to shop when I am sad. I am sarcastic, sometimes even when I don’t mean to be. I don’t understand dating. Some people get me, most people don’t….and that is okay (okay, I say okay, but what I really mean is, I want everyone to like me)

I learned that my slow cooking skills need a lot of work. Life goal for the new year: Learn how to use the slow cooker properly.

I learned that all the medication in the world is not going to make me feel as good as fresh air and yoga does. I have not done yoga properly in a month, and I can really feel it. I’m lacking some motivation, but I am hoping that someone can kick my butt into getting it done and staying on a schedule. The weather might be too cold for me to enjoy the fresh air, but my new yoga mat has barely been used, and that is a shame. I need to fix that. Like right now. In fact, I am going to put this on hold and do some yoga.

I learned that I can survive just about anything. Anyone who reads through the last year of posts will know how much I have done, and how there were only a few times that I really wanted to give up. Eventually though all roads led to Edinburgh, and I am a happy happy girl. Now I just have to survive until February when I can go home and get some sunshine and some more of my shoes.

The shoes. They are important. My goal now is to make my list of 100 things I am grateful for before Saturday so that I actually complete the challenge for the week in which it is intended.

The Scamp’s First Hanukkah in Scotland

Posted on December 8, 2015 by erranteditor

I may have to marry Stuart the FedEx guy. Today he brought me a box with my menorah in it. I forgot to have my mom bring it with her when she came to visit a couple of weeks ago, and I was worried that this would be the first year that I did not light candles.

My mother came to the rescue though. She sent it with a box of presents, and it arrived today, night three of Hanukkah.

So what is Hanukkah, you ask? Well, here is the BBC’s short and sweet version. The festival reminds Jews of a time over 2500 years ago when the Jews won a battle against the Greeks to practice their religion freely. The Greeks had banned all Jewish rituals. To celebrate, an oil lamp was lit in a Jewish temple. There was only enough oil to burn for one day – but miraculously it burned for eight days.

This is why the Hanukkah festival lasts for eight days and why light is really important in the celebration. With that in mind, not having my menorah with me was devastating. The first two days when the sun was setting I improvised with pictures from the internet. There is a very very very small number of Jewish people in Scotland, so it is not like I could just go out and buy another one.

But that’s what you do on an adventure; you improvise.

After I got the box I set out on a quest to find candles that fit my menorah. Let me tell you, it was actually easier than I thought it would be. I went to the grocery store first, assuming that they might have something. I took the menorah with me and looked really really really silly in the store trying to see if the selection of candles they had would fit the menorah. None of the traditional candles would work, and the birthday cake candles they had were way too skinny. I moved on to the PoundLand, and as luck would have it, the birthday candles they sell are just the right size!

I loved it. I’m sure I got a lot of funny looks while I was going about this whole process, but I am happy for that little bit of comfort and little bit of tradition that I get to keep here. I know that in a few years I will be smart enough to order candles off the internet and I will laugh at the way I had to piece together my first Hanukkah. I was going to try and make latkas, but I am still a little too traumatized from the slow cooker the other night.

I think that is something for night 8 when I have fully recovered.

2015-12-08 16.05.30-1

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 47-49

Posted on December 3, 2015 by erranteditor

Week 49. Wow. I cannot believe it has been 49 weeks since I started the challenge. I can believe, however, that I am once again several posts behind on the challenge. For the last couple of weeks I have been battling some mad hibernation instincts, visiting with my family, and generally neglecting all things related to writing, academic and otherwise. The visit from my mom and brother did a lot to re-energize me, but now I am at the point where I have to make up for lost time.

Although, with the rain, wind, and temperature currently sitting at about 2C (36F) all I really want to do is get in bed with my book and Lambchop my hotwater bottle and call it a day.

But I digress.

Week 47 was dedicated to opportunities that I have been given. I know that I should be thinking more deeply about things like this, but honestly, I have been given a lot of amazing opportunities, and I am having a hard time thinking of just one major one that I am grateful for. Something a little on the shallow and cheesy side that I am grateful for is the role of babysitter to a little French Bulldog called Skyler. Skyler belongs to my neighbors. They are a lovely couple who unfortunately gets stuck signing for my packages when I am at work. While this may seem like a very very silly opportunity to be grateful for, it really isn’t. The one thing I want more than anything (well, not more than to pay off all of my debits and make enough money to not cry a little every time I look at my bank statement) is to own a Frenchie. I created an Instagram simply for the reason of following Frenchies. I want a puppy friend the way most people my age want a baby. I see people with their dogs all over the city, and while some let me pet their little fir babies, strangers usually don’t like it when you hug their dogs. I am not really in the position for a dog at the moment, so acting as a babysitter to this little love bug is like the next best thing. When I told my neighbor that I had my Odie who I miss a lot, she cooed at Skyler that she would have to be a cat for a day and provide some comfort….I am 100% okay with that.

Week 48 is dedicated to my job.

Well, this is an easy one. I am grateful for my job because it literally saved my life. I saw the posting for the position when things went south at CSUF and I had slid into the dark and twisty big time. I wasn’t eating, wasn’t sleeping, had very few people in my life that I considered friends, and worried that I would never feel good about myself again. This job allowed me to move back to Scotland, the one and only place I have ever felt at home. This job allowed me to meet some incredible people, and be in the same place with some already amazing friends. This job is allowing me to test my patience playing the political game, spend my days doing research, and writing….all kinds of writing. A year ago I was a mess. Today, I am the happiest I have been in years. I know that this job is a big part of the reason why. It also doesn’t hurt that I will actually be Dr. Kimbo when my contract is up.

Week 49 is dedicated to what I like about winter.

When it is over. That is my favorite part of winter.

For real. I am not a fan of winter.

The Scamp and Thanksgiving

Posted on November 27, 2015 by erranteditor

Last night was the first time I celebrated Thanksgiving in three years. Usually I spend this time escaping the US and visiting new places. Last year I was in Estonia, and one of my best friends made me a feast of yummy food as well as provided me with a week of fun and adventure. The year before that I was graduating from the University of Edinburgh and enjoying my time in Scotland with my mom and sister. I spent the holiday meant to be all about giving thanks in places and with people that make me feel really thankful.

This year I was lucky enough to have my mom and brother visiting me in Scotland for Thanksgiving. My brother has never been here, so I had an amazing time showing him around all of my favorite places, and going to see things that I had never seen before. I decided that this year I would celebrate Thanksgiving with all of the new friends that I made. Most of them had never celebrated Thanksgiving before, and I had never made a complete dinner by myself, so I decided that it was a good chance for my mom to meet my friends, and to actually use my little kitchen to create a meal.

For my first attempt at a Thanksgiving dinner, it could not have gone any better. I was about two hours later than I thought I would be in terms of serving dinner, but the turkeys looked good, the potatoes, green beans, and stuffing were incredible, and the gravy was able to be saved (thanks Errol), and even though I really did not have a chance to sit and hang out with everyone, given all the laughter I heard, I think that everyone had a good time. I was so glad that my friends got to meet my mom and my brother (I wish the wombmate could have been here) since they are some of my favorite people, and I am glad that my mom got to see that I am surrounded by an amazing group of people.

I know that Thanksgiving is a time for people to think about what they are thankful for, and this is going to sound really strange given that for the last two years I have been writing about how miserable CSUF made me, but I am really thankful for that horrible horrible program. If it was not for that program, I would not have applied for the program here, and would not be back in the one place in the world that I feel at home. If all of that stuff hadn’t have happened, I would be graduating in a few months, but I would be miserable. Being Scotland would not even be on my radar. I’d be depressed, alone, and unhappy for sure. While there are things I miss, okay, really just my family and a few of my friends that I consider family, I wouldn’t trade any of that for where I am now. I’m grateful that the shitshow of a program led me to a program that I love, a job that I enjoy, and people that I love to be around.

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 46

Posted on November 15, 2015 by erranteditor

The weather is turning cold here in lovely lovely Edinburgh. It is currently 10C (50 F) and rainy. The sun is setting earlier, and the leaves are disappearing. It is the type of weather that makes me want to curl up under blankets, drink hot chocolate, and watch Disney movies. I’m not smart enough to figure out if the heating in my place actually works, and for the moment it makes focusing on my work a bit hard. I spent all last week pouting about the way my job is going, and unfortunately that has put me behind in my work for the PhD. I have a friend who made a schedule, worked diligently every day was able to stay on a strict timeline. I have the best intention to do that, and somehow I never quite make it. I have things to do, but all I can think about is the fact that I am not really making progress in my work beside reading literature. I have a conceptual paper that needs to be written, but I feel like what I have written so far is not good enough to meet the standards of the PhD. I have academic writing PTSD and I am not sure how to get past it. I’ve been trying to just write for ten minutes a day, but even most of that is just complete and utter pish. I need a drill instructor to yell at me whenever I stop working, or fail to open a word doc.

Something that has been helping me is technology, which happens to be the focus of the gratitude challenge this week. Thanks to technology, I am able to Skype with my friends and family in the States, and just those little bits of time with them make me laugh and feel better on an off day. Technology is allowing me to stay current with the wombmate’s pregnancy, and will allow me to be present at the birth if I cannot make it back to the States in time. I can send photos, emails, and see people face-to-face thanks to technology. It is one of the reasons that my move here was pretty easy. Instead of having to wait a week to send a letter through the post, or make a phone call once a month because it is expensive to call international, I can get an almost immediate response to text, email, or picture message. This week I went to the National Museum of Scotland and wandered through the exhibit on Victorian photographs. It was really interesting to see the way that photography was done in that era, and how it has changed over time.

While the technological advancement was interesting and the photographs on display were amazing, it was fun to get dressed up and go to the museum after hours to see the exhibit, and then stay for a Victorian themed party. The people watching was incredible, the music was interesting, and the drinks were tasty. It was a fantastic date with an even more fantastic man, and one of those fun, non-touristy things to do in Edinburgh.

Perhaps the best thing about technology to me right now is the fact that in less than a week my mom and brother will be getting on a plane to come see me. They will be here for American Thanksgiving, and it has been almost five months since we have been in the same timezone, and I cannot wait to see them. It is my brother’s first time in Scotland, and I cannot wait to show him all of my favorite places.

The Scamp and a Bon Voyage

Posted on June 1, 2015 by erranteditor

Yesterday I made the second round of goodbyes. I invited friends and family to come hang out with me at a little brewery by my parent’s house. I honestly thought no one would show up. I’m not sure why, but I have a strong desire to be missed by the people here, and I had a feeling my piss poor attitude for the last two years put a damper on people who would be sad to see me go.

Boy was I wrong. 30 people came to see me off, and those that couldn’t make it called, texted, or made some time to see me in the next four days. I am truly humbled by all the love that I got. I keep telling everyone to come and visit, and I sincerely mean it. I hope they all get a chance at some point to come see me in natural habitat, super happy and thriving. In the meantime, I have all of their addresses, so I can send snarky postcards, hot kilted men with beards, shortbread cookies, and fine wool accessories. There is still time to get on the list, so anyone who wants on it, shoot me a message, and consider it done.

Here are a few snaps from the day. Please ignore my horribly sunburned neck. In an attempt to be the most tan person in Scotland, I got a little crispy.

My “little” cousin. He loves me….sometimes

This is my favorite picture of the day. My meow let me help build a tower.

Meow!

I’ve known the Zavala family for a long time. I was honored that they came to see me off.

My cousin Katy made the best card ever for me, and we even got Beans to smile

Sassy best friend

All my college buddies

Poor Joe. He has known us since we were 5

Even one of my favorite people from the CSUF program came. I may have squealed in delight when she walked up

The Scamp and the “C” Word

Posted on May 18, 2015 by erranteditor

Of the 15,500 obscure words in the dictionary for the International House of Loggorrhea, 1,317 words start with the letter “C.” Of course, if you take into account the simple, ordinary, everyday words, I am sure that the number is might be about 8,000 or so words that start with the silly little inconsequential letter “C”. Some of my favorite words start with the letter “C”….cat, chicken, cactus, can, courage, compassion, but there is one word that starts with the letter “C” that I just cannot stand.

Cancer. According to dictionary.com, cancer:

noun

Pathology.

a malignant and invasive growth or tumor, especially one originating in epithelium, tending to recur after excision and to metastasize to other sites.

any disease characterized by such growths

Word Origin

C14: from Latin: crab, a creeping tumour; related to Greek karkinos crab, Sanskrit karkata

Cancer sucks. Nothing ever good comes from the word cancer. All that being said, cancer and I have become good friends these last couple of weeks. It was not my choice to become friends, but cancer decided to move in with the one person who means the most to me in this world. Now, this is not the first time that my mom has battled cancer, and the sad thing is, it probably won’t be the last time, but it does not make it any less scary with each time that she has to go under the knife. She has given up quite a bit of nonessential space to cancer over the years (I mean, who needs lymph nodes, or a uterus, or even one of your auditory nerves?), and now she has to give up part of her leg to skin cancer. She has been largely silent while dealing with this, and I honestly went back and forth about whether or not I should make her struggle public. The thing is, writing about it helps me cope. I’ve written about horrible break-ups, deaths, being bullied, being expelled, dealing with horrible, soul crushing depression, so to write about my mom’s cancer seems only natural because it helps me cope.

I’m with my mom everyday. I can see that she is not dying, and I have a feeling that the doc will be able to scoop it all out tomorrow, and other than no longer being allowed to sit in the sun, my mom will be no worse for the wear. Logically, I know all of this to be true. There is still a part of me that is worried that they are going to take the leg, or that the cancer has spread in the month since they found it and are going to remove it. I’m worried that she keeps saying everything will be fine because she doesn’t want us to worry, when in reality, it is really bad. I’ve spent the last three years trying to learn to not borrow trouble before it is due, but it is times like this when I am sitting alone, it is late, and I have way too many things that need to be done, that my mind wanders and I start to think of all the bad things that might happen. It is times like this that I question my choice to move so far away. If she has to go through chemo, there is no one to sit with her and play scrabble, or make bad jokes. If she gets worse, there is no one here to make sure the house stays clean, to cook meals, and to watch bad reality TV with her. It would take me almost 24 hours to get home if something really bad happened. It makes me feel selfish that I am going off on this big adventure and doing something for purely selfish reasons when she could need the help here.

I already know that she would tell me that is ridiculous. She has my dad to help her, and she will be just fine. Well, I’ve been in the car with my dad, and I know how long it takes him to cook a meal, so things might go as well for her as she hopes….just saying.

While I am always a little bit afraid (okay, a lot a bit afraid) of the “C” word, I am also exhausted, and frustrated by it. How much more is one person supposed to take? When does my mom get a vacation from the health issues? Why can’t the cancer go bug someone else? Shoot, I’d take it this round instead of her. I can see how tired she, how ready she is to not have to deal with things like this. It makes me mad that she is carrying this burden, and for the most part, she is carrying it all by herself.

Since the procedure is not at the hospital, I am going to stay home and man the phones while she is at the doctor’s office. My time will be better spent here anyway. When she had brain surgery, it was the longest seven hours of my life, and we were camped out by the little room they took people into to tell them their loved ones had died. It was stressful. At least at home I can grade papers, watch TV, do yoga, and be distracted enough to keep my mind off things.

Tomorrow, I am hoping she goes into the doctor’s office with two legs and come out with 1.9 legs, laughing in the face of the skin cancer. I’m going to try and find local pet stores that sell parrots, just in case she comes home down a leg, and would like to transition into her life as a pirate immediately. I’d imagine it is hard to get your hands on a parrot, so it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.

A couple of weeks ago we had new family pictures done, and despite my mom’s hopes for normal, I think the photos capture us (and her cancerous leg) quite nicely.

You can see a person’s whole life in the cancer they get.”
― Haruki Murakami, Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman

I guess well educated sun goddess is a pretty accurate description

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 14 and 15

Posted on April 13, 2015 by erranteditor

As usual, I am behind on the challenge. Part of it is born out of pure laziness, and part of it is for the last couple of weeks I have felt like a petulant child who is one who is five seconds away from throwing themselves on the floor for a full on tantrum. I’m having visa issues, and that is really stressing me out. The stress, in turn, is making me cranky with anyone and everyone that crosses my path. When I am in that mood, it is hard for me to remember to be grateful.

Week 14 of the challenge is a talent that I have. This one is hard for me because I am not sure that I really have a specific talent. I guess lately my talent for grammar is really saving me at work, and out and about in the real world.

Week 15 is a little bit easier. This week is all about the reasons that I like spring. This is so easy for me. There are a lot of reasons that I love spring. I love that it stays lighter later. I feel less like a slave and hermit when I leave the library between classes and it is still light outside. I like that I can sit outside longer. I also love it when the weather starts to get warmer. Although California is in a massive drought, and it has been warm for the last two years, I like that the days are warm enough to allow me to sit in the backyard and work on my tan, it is warm enough at night for me to sleep with my window open, and when I am driving around, I can roll down the windows, open the sun roof, and not feel like a giant sweat ball when I finally reach my destination. I like spring because flowers bloom. It also seems like people become a lot friendlier and a lot more willing to be nice around spring.

Well, most people anyway. Even my attempt to remain grateful has fallen short. I still have an “I hate the world” attitude, still want people to pull there heads out of their asses and give me what I need to be able to complete my paperwork. I wish that people understood the urgency of the situation, and were as worried about it as I am. I have less than 50 days to sort it out, and time is wasting. Hrrrrruuummmmpphhhh.

I also wish people would stop questioning my life choices. I am not leaving the United States to become a stripper crack whore. I’m leaving the US because I am much happier living in Scotland, and because I was offered the perfect position, and a chance to actually earn a PhD. People act like I am crazy, friends that I have had for years have stopped calling, and people act like I am being selfish for moving so far away from my family. Sometimes I swear it is like I told them that I want to drown babies and kick puppies for the rest of my life.

This should not bother me. My friends who are in the UK are excited for me to come back, and have bent over backwards to help me. My immediate family has no problem with my choice to officially become an expat, and those of my friends that I really care about and love already know that they have an open invitation to come stay and see the sites. Some of them have already talked about coming to see me and bringing their dogs for a romp around my fair city. Deep down I know that I have made the right decision, and I know that I will be a lot happier with work, school, life in general. California did me dirty for the last two years, and it is time that we break up for good this time.

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge Week 4

Posted on January 23, 2015 by erranteditor

I’ve got a nasty flu that seems to be going around, so my want to do anything other than lay in bed with DayQuil, tissues, and Netflix has been next to nil.

The theme for the gratitude challenge this week is a family member. I have decided that this coveted honor (okay, I am pretending that all of my family and friends would like a mention on my blog of awesomeness) is going to my sister-cousin, Mckenna.

This 20 year old stunner is my oldest cousin on my dad’s side of the family. I remember when she was born. My aunt and uncle lived down the street from my dad, so my sister and I used to go over to their house and play Barbies or run around outside. When they moved to a bigger house, I remember playing in the yard, and playing hide and seek in the house while babysitting. As long as I can remember, Kenna wanted to ride horses. My aunt and uncle paid for lessons, leased a horse for her, and drove her all over the place for horse shows.

When she was getting ready to apply to college, she asked me to help her with her admission essays. She got into the school of her dreams, and moved 3,000 miles away on her own to pursue her riding career and study business. She is getting ready to graduate soon, and I cannot wait to see what she decides to do after college.

She is the focus of my gratitude this week because she is like a second little sister to me. We text and laugh, and Skype, and when I was living in Scotland we talked a lot. When David and I broke up and I was miserable, she let me cry to her on Skype and made me laugh with pictures of her pup. We share the common plight of the single gal, and she has already pledged to be a cat lady with me. She makes me laugh, she’s fun to hang out with, and I know that she is destined for great things.

I am one lucky sister-cousin.

I go back to work next week, and while I am ready for that, it feels strange to no longer be a student. As happy as I am to be free of the misery that was the EDD program at Cal State Fullerton, it is a bit strange to have all of this free time. I feel like I should reading more, or doing more research, or working on applying to the large number of full time jobs that have suddenly presented themselves to me. Instead, I am watching bad reality TV, and trying to find pictures of my family that are suitable for the internet. I’m hoping that once I get back into work mode things will settle into a routine, but in the meantime, there are so many options for bad reality TV, I can keep myself pretty busy.

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 3

Posted on January 16, 2015 by erranteditor

Week 3 of the gratitude challenge is one that I can write pages and pages and pages about: my family.

I make no secret that my favorite people in the entire world is my family. It is the easiest thing in the world for my to be grateful for them. For the last two years I have been struggling at California State University, Fullerton. The program has worn me down, and as of yesterday, I am no longer a part of the program. While I was in meeting after meeting listening to how I was academically dishonest and emotionally unstable, my family was there to make me laugh and remind me that they loved me whether I was a cheater or not.

My brother eloquently reminded me that sometimes in life you have to have to play the game to survive. He told me:

“Sometimes in life you have to suck a dick. You don’t have to like it, and you sure as hell don’t have to swallow, but sometimes you just have to suck a dick.”

My sister and brother-in-law took me out, sent me cat pictures, and reminded me that the people in the program are the misguided racist people, and that what I put up with in their presence is not the real world. They joke with me, and don’t let me wallow in my misery. We talk, text and hang out with each other all the time, and although they usually have to drag me out kicking and screaming, it is always a good time.

The rest of my family has been equally as supportive of my journey. My aunt, uncle, and cousins have been outraged on my behalf and supportive of my journey. We are lucky enough to get to spend a lot of time together, and I love hanging out with them.

I know that everyone says that they have the best family, but I honestly believe that my family is the best, We laugh, we joke, we support each other, and we are lucky enough to live near each other.

This week the gratitude for my family goes a little bit deeper. Today is the anniversary of my grandma’s death. This is a hard day for my mom. She has spent the last 19 years without her mother. I think of all the times I have cried on my mom’s shoulder, gone out to dinner with her, watched movies with her, cooked dinner, gone on vacation with her, and driven her crazy. I have the luxury of always having her in my corner.

My mom does not. She doesn’t get to cry to her mom when she has a bad day, or go out to dinner, or even just have phone conversations. I know that my mom misses my grandma every day. Their relationship was far from perfect, and my grandma had a lot of daemons, but she loved my mom, and I know that she loved us too.

My grammy was a stunner. She was born March 19, 1938 in New York. She was a lover of big hair, big glasses, and big purses. I remember the crazy large glasses, the outrageous purses, and the long painted nails. She was killed in a car accident January 16, 1996 because she refused to wear her seat belt. For a woman who wouldn’t put her key in the ignition if one of us was not belted in, she was careless about her own safety. Having only been able to spend a limited amount of time with my grammy makes me appreciate my mom that much more. I’m grateful for all the time that I get with my family, but a little extra grateful today that I still have my mommy around.