gratitude

The Scamp Goes on an Adventure: Day 5 and 6

Posted on by erranteditor

By day 5 I was tired. I’d walked, I’d explored, I’d eaten, and I needed to rest. I stayed inside most of the day and watched Netflix and wrote in my adventure diary. In the afternoon, I did my favourite thing: I got tattooed. I went to Dot and Daggers Tattoo (https://www.dotsanddaggers.com/) and they were able to fit me in last minute. I’d booked in a session with them in November, but it got cancelled when they went back into lockdown. The shop was my favourite type of shop: good music, friendly staff and amazing artwork. I got a hummingbird skull and some flowers to go with the desert happening on my arm. It was worth every second.

My last day in the city was a sunny and warmish day, so I spent the day in the park. But not just any park. The park at the Schönbrunn Palace. This was the summer palace for the Habsburgs. According to Wikipedia:

The 1,441-room Rococo palace is one of the most important architectural, cultural, and historic monuments in the country. The history of the palace and its vast gardens spans over 300 years, reflecting the changing tastes, interests, and aspirations of successive Habsburg monarchs. It has been a major tourist attraction since the mid-1950s.

I bought a new duck and ended the day finding an old mosaic of a cow and a wolf playing backgammon. According to Atlas Obscura:

IN THE 15TH CENTURY, ENEA Silvio Bartolomeo Piccolomini, better known later in life as Pope Pius II, described all the fine houses of Vienna as being painted inside and out with fabulous scenery. Like the marginalia found in illuminated manuscripts, the houses would have featured religious and historic portraiture, along with some humorous imagery for good measure.

These medieval murals have mostly been destroyed by time, but one, of the humorous variety, can be seen today on a house in Vienna’s historic center. The facade of the Hasenaus (“Hare House”) features a wolf and a cow in spectacles engaged in a game of backgammon. Behind the board are the legs of a man, who appears to be holding a fly swatter, perhaps to attend to the players.

One explanation for this absurd scene is that it is an allegory for the political tensions between Protestants and Catholics. It’s not clear who’s winning. Others have suggested that the man behind the game is a furrier eagerly awaiting the conclusion of the game so he can take the hide of the loser.

The wall painting dates approximately to 1509. The house would have been originally been covered with scenes of medieval life, in particular one large motif of a rabbit hunt (hence the name). But when it was refurbished in the 18th century, all but the backgammon game was lost. Luckily, it has been carefully preserved so that Viennese and visitors alike can admire it, wondering what it’s supposed to mean. 

The mural was down an unassuming side street, and I am glad that I detoured to find it. I returned to Scotland feeling like I’d had proper time off, got some good culture and allowed myself to separate from my work for a bit. It was a really good way to end my 34th year.

Totally ready for the next adventure. s

The Scamp Goes on An Adventure

Posted on by erranteditor

For the first time since 2018, I actually went on holiday that wasn’t California and wasn’t in the UK! I’ve been trying to get away since Nov 2021, but lockdowns and Covid mean having to be flexible. Instead of a Thanksgiving holiday, I snuck away to celebrate my last week of being 34.

I’ve been really struggling since 2018. The end of the PhD, the horrible viva and rewrites, and then the pandemic have really done a lot to corrode my already tenuous mental health. That coupled with isolation, no travel and a stressful work environment have left me pretty burnt out. I haven’t been writing for fun, haven’t been writing for work, and haven’t done a whole lot to help myself become an adult.

To sort myself out, I decided to head to Vienna for a week. I’ve never been to Austria, and there are a lot of great places to visit that are only an hour by train or bus….and I just needed out of the UK.

I booked a stay at the Student House Vienna. This is a hotel/student dorm. It was fantastic. The people were friendly, I couldn’t hear the people living above me or next to me, and it was right next to the metro, so it was easy to get to city centre.

The first thing I did was buy a week’s pass for the U-Bahn so that I did not have to walk if I did not want to. My first stop was the Museum of Modern Art. According to the museum’s website:

With its collections based on Pop Art and Photorealism, Fluxus and Nouveau Réalisme as well as Viennese Actionism, the mumok combines highlights of societal and reality-related art as well as performance art of the 20th century. The collection comprises around 9,000 works: paintings, sculptures, installations, drawings, graphics, photos, videos, films, architectural models and furniture.

https://www.wien.info/en/sightseeing/museums-exhibitions/top/mq/museum-modern-art-352902

The museum did not disappoint. Pop art is the type of art I enjoy the most, and the gallery had so many floors to wander about. I actually wandered the museum without a murder podcast playing in my ears and it was nice to have a bit of silence.

The next place that I went was the Natural History Museum. According to their website:

The Natural History Museum preserves, expands, researches and presents its extensive biological, geological, anthropological and archaeological collections in a building designed as a total work of art. It conveys the diversity of nature, the evolution of planet earth and life as well as the associated cultural development of humans and offers an inspiring meeting place where dialogue and exchange between science and society take place.

https://www.nhm-wien.ac.at/museum/leitbild_mission

It is a stunning museum, the building is amazing and everything is presented so well. It is also like a maze. There are so many rooms and corridors that at one point, I was glad that I had a granola bar in my purse.

Naturhistorisches Museum
Dino pals
Mineral collection

There was something really nice about wandering the city, not being sat on my couch all day, and not emotionally eating because I am sad and feeling stuck. Even the GPS gods smiled on me and kept me right the entire time. Vienna is really easy to navigate and I have the directional sense of a bee in a paper bag, so being outside, walking, and not once getting lost made me really happy. I even navigated the metro like I knew what I was doing, and I love any time that I can feel a bit less like a tourist. I ended the day with my favourite thing: cake. There was a market in the metro station, so I was able to get nibbles and eat in the dorm at the end of the day. I was not 100% keen on eating out alone, so being able to get a salad and water and amazing bread. It was a great start to the vacation.

The Scamp’s Cooking Corner

Posted on by erranteditor

While I have stuck to trying out new recipes each week, I have not been great about posting the results each week. The last one was a disaster, looked like cat food. Unfortunately, the week after that was not a winner either. I thought I’d try my hand at baking. I used to be a good baker, award-winning even. I probably am still a good baker, but I got way too ambitious with the recipe. I’m going to share it though in case anyone wants to try it. This comes from Shalean LaBerge on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/p/CYKTZ0NpBlJ/)

Funfetti Cookie & Cake Batter Blondies 🍰

1 pack Funfetti cookie dough
1 box Funfetti cake mix
1 egg beaten
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup chopped white chocolate
1/4 cup rainbow sprinkles
9-12 golden Oreos

Preheat oven to 350F and grease the bottom of a 9×9 glass pan (or line with parchment paper). Spread the Funfetti cookie dough mix to the bottom of the pan then top with 9-12 golden Oreos and set aside. In a mixing bowl, combine Funfetti cake mix with the vegetable oil and milk. Add in the white chocolate and sprinkles. Pour the beaten egg into the batter and mix until just incorporated. Pour the batter into the pan on top of the golden Oreo layer. Cover with foil and bake for 25 minutes on the center rack. Remove the foil, turn the pan around and lower the oven to 325F. Continue to bake for an additional 25 minutes. At this point, the edges should be golden brown and the center slightly lighter in color. Cover only the edges of the pan with foil and bake for 10 more minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool COMPLETELY in the pan before slicing (2-3 hours).

Tip: after the total bake time, a toothpick entered into the center should come out almost clean (not wet but not completely clean) because it will finish baking outside the oven while cooling in the pan)

I had to make my own funfetti icing, but I found unicorn sprinkles and all kinds of colourful bits and bobs to use with vanilla frosting. Mine did not look anywhere near as pretty as the video shared on Instagram, but it didn’t taste too bad. I had fun making it though, and might go back to the baking that I was good at as a kid, cookies. They are a lot easier to make then a cookie, cake, brownie mix.

The Scamp’s Cooking Corner

Posted on by erranteditor

This one should actually be called the failed cooking corner. The big huge it looked like cat vomit instead of sauce fail.

I somehow ended up with a bag full of shallots when I did my last grocery order, and for the life of me, I can’t remember if I’ve ever cooked with a shallot. I did what any good researcher would do and took to the internet to try and find a good recipe that would allow me to use some of my shallots.

You’ll never guess what I found…..an entire recipe dedicated to the use of shallots. I picked one that seemed easy: Caramelised shallot pasta. Seemed easy enough, and the shopping list was simple.

Ingredients:

60ml olive oil

8 round shallots, sliced very thinly

2 garlic cloves, finely chopped

Salt and pepper, to taste

1 tsp chilli flakes

25g anchovy fillets (about 6 anchovies), drained but not rinsed

100g finely chopped sundried tomatoes

12 green olives, sliced

500g bucatini (or another type of pasta)

40g Parmesan

Small bunch of fresh parsley, finely chopped

Instructions

Heat the olive oil in a large heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium high heat. Add the shallots and thinly sliced garlic, season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the shallots have become totally softened and caramelized with golden-brown fried edges, a solid 15 to 20 minutes.

Add chilli flakes, anchovies, sundried tomatoes and olives. Stir well and cook for a further 4 minutes.

Meanwhile, fill another large pot with salted water and bring to a boil. Add the bucatini and cook according to the package instructions. Save about 2 ladles of pasta water when draining.

Add the cooked pasta to the pan of sauce. Slowly begin to pour in the remaining pasta water and toss to combine with the sauce. Continue adding a little bit of the water at a time to help loosen up the sauce and coat all of the pasta.

Plate the pasta and top with Parmesan and fresh parsley.

I went to the big Tesco near my house and picked up everything that I didn’t already have in my pantry. It has now become a bit of a fun ritual for me: finding the recipes, going to the shop, listening to a podcast as I browse the aisles. This time it was Sweet Bobby (which is a story for another day, because damn, that is one ridiculous story). I came home and washed everything that needed to be washed and prepped everything according to the instructions.

Except I made one crucial mistake when I was ear deep in a crazy 10 year catfish saga: I bought sardines instead of anchovies. Even worse, I didn’t notice I’d made this error until after I added it to everything else. Instead of a sauce, I got cat vomit city.

Cat vomit disguised as part of the caramelised shallot pasta.

Let’s just say, you can’t mistake sardines and anchovies.

Me, learning after making the fatal mistake

The only good part of this was that I hadn’t mixed the pasta in yet, so dinner wasn’t totally wasted. Butter, garlic powder, mixed herbs and the fresh parm saved the day. I sent the photos to the family group chat, had a good laugh and crossed this recipe off the list of the success stories. I guess when I had the idea to try a recipe a week, I thought they would all be a success story. The first couple worked out so well. I got cocky. I started to believe that maybe I wasn’t hopeless at cooking.

There is one thing I can say with confidence though: I still do not know how to cook a shallot.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: January 5th

Posted on by erranteditor

Call Me Ishmael
Take the first sentence from your favourite book and make it the first sentence of your post.

I was going to use my all-time favourite book, but ‘When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow‘ doesn’t leave me with a lot to go on since I do not tend to post the fiction that I write here. I went to my second favourite book, but ‘Crouched in the closet, he waited for the sounds of her arrival’ wasn’t much better. Third time lucky though.

I feel sometimes, I’ve lived THREE lives. That’s not true….it is probably more like four. There was the first 26 years of my life. That was the Kim who thought she was going to be a lawyer, then a writer then spent over 10 years working in libraries. She had a lot of friends, two significant romantic relationships and was diagnosed with Lupus at the age of 22.

Then there was Scotland Part 1 Kim. She had a wonderful adventure, got accepted to one of the best universities in the world, and got to live out her dream of living overseas. She was happy, she was loved, and she never wanted to go home. This is the Kim who started this blog.

Then there was the transition back to the US Kim. She was depressed, suffering reverse culture shock, and trying to plan a new life that did not include the person she thought she was going to marry. She ended up in a horrible EdD programme and found herself not only being bullied but being kicked out of the university for something so outrageous that it is now hilarious.

Finally, there was Scotland Part 2 Kim. She earned a PhD, made some friends, lost some friends, and although the pandemic is making her hate life a bit, she is doing a job she is good at, has been all over the world, and has a much better understanding of how to use a hair straightener.

I don’t know if this will be my last life, or if I will be like a cat and have 9 of them. Maybe in my next life I will own a rescue farm where I take in all of the animals and let them live out their days in the Scottish countryside. I’m still two years away from being able to get permanent settlement in the UK, and I’m still crossing my fingers that maybe one day it will be Scottish citizenship rather than British citizenship. Maybe I’ll be able to live somewhere warm in the winter months, somewhere with a beach. Maybe I will actually pass the UK driving test….I mean, a girl can dream, right?

The first line is from To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

The second line is from Savage Art by Danielle Girard.

The line I ultimately went with is the start of Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain

The Scamp Starts Again

Posted on by erranteditor

2022.

Or, 2020 part 2. It feels like forever ago since I was explaining Post Malone and BTS to my dad as we waited for the ball to drop on 2019 and start 2020. That was the first New Years I’d spent in California since I was 27. Little did I know that would be the last bit of normal that I would have for 2+ years. The pandemic kicked my butt so hard that I stopped writing for fun. I literally shelved the blog for the most part because there was no travelling and no fun in my life.

and there are only so many ways you can say you are depressed and that you hate life. I made a list of the 20 things I wanted to do in 2020, which became the 21 things I wanted to do in 2021, which is now going to become the 22 things I want to in 2022. I’m also bringing back the daily writing prompts as I think being told what to write will help me on the days that I just can’t get my creative juices flowing. I’m still putting together a list of things that I can actually do and not ignore for the year, so while I think about that, I will go with the daily prompt for today.

Although, I am not sure it is really something I wanted to have on the internet, but here goes:

Where were you last night when 2020 turned into 2021? Is that where you’d wanted to be?

I spent last night at home, alone. I watched bad movies and generally just moped about being alone. Everyone I would want to spend the night with are either in another country, isolating, or had to work and didn’t celebrate. If I had my way, I’d be in another country on an adventure. I booked a trip in November to Austria, Czechia and Slovakia, but they went back into lockdown the day before I was due to leave. I’d have loved to be able to do that trip over Christmas/New Years, but alas, the furthest I’ve travelled in two months is the airport to get to the vaccination centre.

If I couldn’t be on an adventure with my travel bestie, then being able to be out in the city centre surrounded by people, judging the bad outfits, drinking all of the rum would be perfect. The last time I did that was 2018. It was fun, I was with people I love and we did a lot of fun. That is what I miss. Having fun. Being around people. The pandemic is lonely. My life before the pandemic was lonely. PhD life is not for the faint of heart.

Now that a new year has started and I am dedicated to trying to be less of a sad sack. The new list will be made, and I tried online dating during the pandemic, so there will forthcoming stories about the disastrous dates that I went on. Hopefully the year has started off as well as can be for everyone and maybe, just maybe, 2022 won’t be part of a horrible Covid trilogy.

The Scamp in Isolation

Posted on by erranteditor

I have been practicing social distancing for the last 5 years. It is an unfortunate by-product of my PhD experience and horrible taste in men.  Two months before the official lockdown I had really started to isolate myself so that I could finish the rewrite and get it in on time.

I was supposed to leave for China to represent the office, and then come back to a new life where I could see my friends more often, take up a hobby that did not involve schoolwork, and finally be free of Napier.

I was going to be a new Kim.

Instead, I have basically been in quarantine since March 17th. My compromised immune system means I am potentially at a higher risk for infection, and I figured with my luck, I’d catch everything you could including Covid19 when my body finally relaxed after the rewrite was complete. I did not leave my place for a week because of a cold, and then for fear of the lackadaisical attitude of the people where I live about staying inside. I finally got to the point last week where I was willing to risk germs for my government-approved exercise outside once a day.

But it is just making me angry. No one here takes it seriously. People are working in their allotments, hanging out in the parks, and walking, jogging and cycling way too close to each other. I’m ready to scream. I’m also mourning the cancellation of my upcoming trip to Mallorca, and what will probably be the cancellation of my family’s trip here in July for my graduation ( the ceremony which has also been canceled).

I’m also lonely. I spend all but about 30 minutes at the start of my day with only myself for company….and I am not good company. That’s not entirely true. My family and friends have been amazing. I get calls and videos and photos all the time. I also have very considerate colleagues who check-in when they notice me looking a little down on the video chats in the morning.

I have been trying to work out and do things that keep my brain occupied, but with the warm weather taunting me, and cabin fever getting the best of me, I cannot wait for things to settle back into a normal where people are not getting sick and we can all go outside again.

Because I hate being a downer, I just want to say that I admire all of the nurses, doctors, pharmacy workers, and grocery store workers who are coming to work every day without complaint and demonstrating a courage and bravery that I can only hope to emulate one day. I have several friends in the US that are total badasses, and several former students here in Scotland that I could not be more proud of. It is nice to know that there is still some good in the world.

The Scamp has Some Feelings

Posted on by erranteditor

I have long neglected this blog. I didn’t mean to. In fact, I started this blog to be the exact opposite. It was my safe little corner of the world where I could work through being so far away from my family for the first time, and be able to share what it was like for this little Scamp to live abroad.

It then morphed into a way for me to process my grief and my reverse culture shock. From there it become my coping mechanism for the horrors that I went through with CSUF. It was a place to share my gratitude and voice my fears.

I am not sure what it will be now. I haven’t sat in this space for a long time. I was too emotionally drained to even try and write for fun. I was too much of a zombie to try and be witty and pithy and admit to the world that my life was reduced to writing, stressing about writing, and trying to get all the work done for all 47 jobs that I took on….or that I failed the UK driving exam for the second time.

Today I handed in my PhD. A month ago I started a full-time job. I commute almost two hours one way, work from 9-4ish and still sort of worry about money. Soon I will have viva prep and hopefully by October I will be a full fledged doctor. My travelling and adventures will now be limited to preset times during the year with prior approval from my boss (who I love and will give me the time off).

Today I ate two cupcakes.

Today I saw a photo of a woman I went to high school with at her sister’s graduation. Standing next to them was the woman that told me I was a cheat and a plagiarist and that if I didn’t apologise for being white I’d never be a good academic.

Today I text an ex who used me to cheat on his gf and (I’m pretty sure) is a complete sociopath. I knew that if I messaged him I could justify feeling crappy about myself and pretend that I was not upset by seeing a photo of the woman that all but broke me.

Today I should be happy about finally submitting my thesis….and I was. Then I spent a little too much time overthinking and creating a plot of misery. So, in order to not waste my first time back in this space by sharing the acknowledgement page from my thesis. It is but a small gesture to the people who refused to let me fail. There were a lot of people who did not make it to the list, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them or appreciate them. Here it is, exactly as it looks…complete with a thanks to my supervisors that I am still on the fence about. This means I can end this day with feelings of gratitude rather than feelings of self-loathing.

This thesis has been a labour of love (and sometimes loathing), and there are several people that deserve much more than a few lines at the start of this work. Thanks to:

• Tansy Jessop for having lunch with me at the 2015 Assessment and Higher Education conference and making sure that my TESTA journey was a successful one.

• David Carless for helping me refine the recommendations and pointing me in the direction of a strong definition of feedback. • David Nicol for saying to me, ‘You should be critiquing my model! It worked in the time it was written, but it is time for something new’. You will never know how much that bolstered my self-confidence.

• My supervisors, Joan McLatchie, Velda McCune, and Mark Huxham – thanks for taking a chance on a cat loving Californian. I know that I have tried your patience a few times, but we got there in the end.

• The Llama Ladies- You are the best friends a girl could ask for.

• Errol Rivera- You talked me off many a ledge and helped me outline many a draft chapter. I’m forever grateful.

• Joe Ameen- A million thanks for the chats and life advice.

• Dr Ana Georgieva- You kept me sane and reminded me to be kind to myself.

• Martha Caddell- You are the best mentor a girl could ever want. I hope I’m half as great as you one day.

• Anne Tierney-Because everything’s better with puppets!

• Kelsey Austin- My travel buddy, my heterolifemate, my unwavering support. I love you and our many adventures.

• Declan- you know why.

• Mondo, Brandon, Jackson, and Matt- I love you.

• Wombmate-You gave me nephews, you listened to me cry and you never let me forget that I am better than my anxiety.

• My parents, Rick and Michelle- I’ll never be able to pay back what you’ve given me. Thank you for never squashing my wanderlust and for all the support. I love you to the moon and back.

The Scamp’s 30 Thoughts Before She Turns 31

Posted on by erranteditor

In about an hour I will turn 31 (Let’s be honest, by the time I finish this post because I stop and start a lot when I am writing).  I have no idea where my 30th year went, but turns out it is almost done.

I’ve been in a very reflective mood lately as I start to prepare for the analysis chapter of my thesis (ladies and gentledudes, I have 40 THOUSAND words written so far!!!!!! I’m about 20k or so away from the minimum word count, so I am a happy happy girl) and I realised that I am finally looking at the light at the end of my educational tunnel. I’m a little freaked out by that since I have been a student since I was 18.

So, while my mind wandered, these were the 30 things that I have reflected on while I am waiting for the stroke of midnight.

30. I can survive a snowstorm. The key to surviving a snowstorm in Scotland is making sure I buy a lot of milk and loaves of bread. I survived 5 days of snow by drinking a lot of tea and writing over 8,000 words for my results chapter (and I was wearing my comfy Rudolph the red nosed Reindeer slippers and fleece pjs). That being said…it is almost springtime, so the Siberian weather better chill the fuck down.

29. Birthday cards are better when they sing to you. My mom sent me a birthday card that is a little beach in a bottle and it sings when you pop the cork. It makes me laugh.

28. I am a cranky Yenta in public. I cannot stand rude people, and as I get older, I have a harder time not yelling at people.

27. I need to get serious about my diet. I’m not fat, not even overweight, but I am so used to seeing myself super skinny, that right now I feel a little pudgier and a little less yoga goddess. I want to go back to the yoga goddess.

26. $7.99 press on sticker manicures give me life. Impress are my favourite (https://www.superdrug.com/Kiss/Kiss-Impress-Gel-Fake-Nails—Swept-Away/p/740254)

25. I run like Pheobe

 

24. 4 jobs are too many.

23. UKVI hates me. Visa nightmares, a million rules, and so many forms to fill out.

22. I can survive Albania.

21. It is okay to let go of friendships that I thought were supposed to last forever. I spent a lot of time being really upset about losing a friend I had since high school. She, on the other hand, never gave it a second thought. Meanwhile, I neglected friendships with people that actually love and care about me (sorry, you know who you are).

20. Slow cookers are not the enemy (okay, this one took me two years to learn….and the heterolifemate was the one that did the cooking)

19. My Spanish is not as good as I thought (and my language students do not let me forget it).

18. Missing the birth of my nephew was a lot harder on me than I thought it would be. I wish I had just accepted the trip home and been there for his birth. It’s been seven months and I still have not gotten to meet him. I worry that he is going to grow up not knowing who I am.

17. Struggling with mental health does not make me a bad person, it just makes me a person.

16. Following that, I think it is time to step back from social media and stop focusing on other peoples’ idea of happiness.

15. Not wanting to have kids does not make me a bad person. It also doesn’t mean I don’t like kids. I love them. I just love that I can give them back at the end of the day.

14. I have to let go of Cal State Fullerton. It happened. It sucked. But it was three years ago. I made a couple of really good friends there, but my life is so much better here in this space.

13. My parents moving out of the house I grew up in doesn’t mean I don’t have a place in their life. My mom is talking about cleaning out my room and selling my furniture, the furniture I bought when I went to uni, and I had a hard time with it. For a while, I looked at that room as my only connection to them, and the only space I had left in their life. But part of my choice to make my life 6,000 miles away from them means that I am a visitor when I am there and not a roommate.

12. It is perfectly acceptable to have my mother mail me American peanut butter.

11. Not wearing shoes that I love because I’m afraid they will get dirty is ridiculous. That being said, I have a pair of Vans with tacos on them that have never been worn. Ditto for a white pair that has flamingos and black slip ons with flamingos.

10. My loans will eventually get paid off….and until then I will make do being skint.

9. Statistics are not scary. I am not in a rush to more research with them, but they are not the terrible beast I thought they were.

8. I would rather follow French bulldogs on IG than real people. I am way more emotionally invested in puppies the lives of puppies I have never met (and never will for that matter) than I am in most people I know (well, their social media profiles anyway).

7.  I like to set unrealistic goals(and then get really mad when I don’t achieve them).

6. My wanderlust list keeps growing.

5. I’m terrified I won’t find a job in the next few months.

4. I don’t think I can actually give up chocolate (I was doing really really well for a bit, but fell off the wagon recently)

3. Drag queens are the cure for what ails me.

2. The mother of all drag queens taught me:

Image result for rupaul if you can't love yourself

  1. I am a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.

 

IMG_20170525_155631

FB_IMG_1511464805282

 

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 9

Posted on by erranteditor

Remember that time I said I was going to write weekly and be really good about sticking to the challenge?

(Please say no)

I currently have 4 jobs and my thesis to complete, and I am feeling a like a bit of a zombie. I haven’t been doing much other than collecting data and commuting, so finding some time to write, and write for pleasure has been sparse.

I had a rare evening off, so I thought maybe if I wrote about something fun and easy then I would be able to do the academic writing tomorrow. The challenge this week is to write about one of my favourite things: BOOKS! The challenge for this week is to write about the five books that I think everyone should read.

Pedagogy of the Oppressed

This work by Brazilian educator and activist Paulo Freire changed my life.  The first time I read this I was 22 and working on my MA. It was the first time I had encountered Critical Theory and the first time that I really found someone who felt the same way as I did about the power of education. Freire calls for a new relationship between teacher, student and society.

In 1962, Paulo Freire created culture circles in Northeastern Brazil to support 300 sugar-cane workers to teach each other how to read the word and their world in 45 days, which enabled them to register to vote. These Culture Circles that began with Sugar Cane workers, catalyzed thousands more. Each with the purpose of not just literacy, but conscientization, or which involves people joining with their peers to name their world by reflecting on their conditions, imagining a better world, and then taking action to create it. This approach, developed as much by Freire as the workers he educated, was so galvanizing that he was jailed and exiled by the Military Government within two years (http://www.practicingfreedom.org/pedagogy-of-the-oppressed-what-is-it-and-why-its-still-relevant/).

Critical Theory, and the idea of giving a voice to those that are traditionally marginalised in education has become a driving force in my writing, my research, and my outlook on the world.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

This is a self-help book I can get behind. Fuck is one of my favourite words and I believe that this book should be required reading for everyone when they turn 18. Mark Manson is not subtle, although he does give a fuck. Some gems include:

Think positive?

“Fuck positivity,” Manson says. “Let’s be honest; sometimes things are fucked up and we have to live with it.”

Be extraordinary?

“Not everyone can be extraordinary – there are winners and losers in society, and some if it is not fair or your fault,” Manson writes.

Seek happiness?

“The path to happiness is a path full of shit heaps and shame,” he remarks.

The Sound and the Fury

This book is not for the faint of heart. William Faulkner is one of the greatest American writers of all time (in my opinion of course) and the variety of narrative styles and the complexity of this story just make me want to read it over and over again. There is something about the stream of consciousness writing style that I love. There is something about the tragic fucked up family that I understand. There is something about writing a book in the way you want to regardless of whether people understand it that makes me want to keep writing.

“…I give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire…I give it to you not that you may remember time, but that you might forget it now and then for a moment and not spend all of your breath trying to conquer it. Because no battle is ever won he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools.”
― William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury

To Kill a Mockingbird

This speaks for itself.

God Went to Beauty School

Cynthia Rylant did something really interesting with this book. It is a collection of vignettes about God as a regular ordinary, everyday man.

God Went to Beauty School

Cynthia Rylant

He went there to learn how
to give a good perm
and ended up just crazy 
about nails
so He opened up His own shop.
“Nails by Jim” He called it.
He was afraid to call it
Nails by God.
He was sure people would
think He was being
disrespectful and using
His own name in vain
and nobody would tip.
He got into nails, of course,
because He’d always loved
hands--
hands were some of the best things
He’d ever done
and this way He could just
hold one in His
and admire those delicate
bones just above the knuckles,
delicate as birds’ wings, 
and after He’d done that
awhile,
He could paint all the nails 
any color He wanted,
then say,
“Beautiful,"
and mean it.

 

Bonus book: Tender Buttons

Gertrude Stein is my favourite poet. Her poems are weird, her life was full of adventure, and she gave zero fucks about convention. As Wikipedia notes: it is a book consisting of three sections titled “Objects”, “Food”, and “Rooms”. While the short book consists of multiple poems covering the everyday mundane, Stein’s experimental use of language renders the poems unorthodox and their subjects unfamiliar.” I first read this book for a poetry class I took in Merced. That was the class that taught me I could be a poet without having to worry about convention, and it is the class that strengthened my bond with some of my favourite people. The book sits on my shelf now….next to The Sound and the Fury.

It is also home to my favourite poem.

Asapagus

Asparagus. Asparagus in a lean in a lean to hot. This makes it art and it is wet wet weather wet weather wet.

It is currently snowing quite hard for Scotland, so I think I am going to pull Tender Buttons off the shelf and enjoy the cozy night in.