sleep

The Scamp Learns Through Osmosis

Posted on by erranteditor

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Let’s be honest, the best way to learn about American community colleges is put the book over my tired face and hope that the musty smell of old library book will help my brain absorb all I need. This picture was taken at 8:30…on a Thursday. There is no reason that I should be as tired as I am, and no reason why I couldn’t read the 36 pages assigned for next week.

This is my second attempt at doing homework. I spent a good three hours trying to code and synthesize books and journal articles for my research class, and after falling asleep twice in my office chair, I decided it was time to switch gears. The picture is proof of how well that worked. I’m only on page 11 (and I am pretty sure the first chapter started on page 10).

This week was hard for me. I’m exhausted. I would love to blame it on the 5 miles I did at the gym yesterday and today, but I know that isn’t the reason.

Stress is the reason. For the last year I have been unemployed. School was my only job. I was in Scotland walking everywhere, on a good sleep schedule, and getting enough fresh air to make me almost forget that I wasn’t seeing the sun. Now that I am home, I have something to do or somewhere to be almost every day of the week. Two days a week I am with my Dillybean, two days a week I am working as an AVID tutor, two days a week I do nothing but homework in order to be ready for my Monday study group. I also have the added bonus of a being completely twitterpaited with a boy I can only see on the weekends. All of this is good stress. I love my Dillybean, I love working with AVID, my study group is amazing, and I signed up for the degree, so the homework has to be done. The thing is, the stress hits me extra hard, and wreaks havoc on me. Thanks to my disease, my body goes into shutdown mode to deal with stress. Suddenly everything from focusing on my reading, to walking up stairs, to chewing food is hard for me. My life is very different than it was a year ago. Very very different.

To combat this, I am going to spend the weekend in my pjs, doing my reading and research, get some quality time with my yoga mat, and take a lot of naps.

Hopefully by Monday I will know a little bit more about American community colleges, and will feel a little less like I’ve been awake for 48 hours.

Wish me luck….I’m going to need it.

The Scamp’s Tale From the Strange

Posted on by erranteditor

I’d like to start this post by saying I am no means a prude. I’m also not dumb enough to think that this little cesspool I live in doesn’t house some odd stuff. I know that I live in a zoo. I know that these 18 year olds have no morals or shame. That being said, this was a first for me.

I’ve been awake since 4 am. The guy that lives below me likes to listen to his club music really loud, and likes to shout over the music to impress the girls that are constantly hanging out with him. I can hear them chatting and laughing, and sometimes I dance along to the music. He always seems to stop by 10 or 11, and since that is when I am getting ready to wind down for the night, it doesn’t bother all that much. The cleaning lady has told me that he is a really posh guy with good looks and lots of money.

Looks like Mr. Posh is also a bit of a perv. He woke me in the wee hours of the morning with his sexual escapades. The girl he was with made some very unfortunate noises….in fact, I am not even sure she was enjoying herself. The thing that got me though, was that every time I thought they were done, she would start again, but with a different guy! I spent two hours…maybe more listening to her rotate the guys in the room while they each had their fun with her. After each round I could hear them laugh, chat and get ready for the next one. I was so grossed out. I realize that just because I don’t enjoy group sex (or a gangbang? I don’t even know what you would call it) doesn’t mean that other people won’t. It also doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy other people watching, laughing and having a go at them. I had to get my headphones to block them out, but even then, all I really wanted to do was get up and take a shower. I’m hoping that satisfied them for awhile, or, if they need to do it again, they put a gag in her or something (I’m sure there is a market for that.)

There are just some things I should not have to be a part of, but since I have to suffer with the memory, so should my lovely readers. After all, misery loves company.

A Scamp and the Wind

Posted on by erranteditor

I hate the wind. It scares me. When I was a kid, I used to freak out when the wind blew, and lord help anyone near me if something was swinging (I know, I am a very strange person). While I grew out of my fear of things that swing, I never did quite grow out of my fear of the wind. When I was younger, and it was still socially acceptable to have a bed covered in stuffed animals, I would pile all of the stuffies around me, and use them to block out the sound. As I got older, I noticed the wind less and less, and a few years ago I got help blocking out the wind from a little thing called Trazadone. I knew that places like Chicago weren’t for me. Any place called the Windy City promised a few sleepless nights for me. I liked my California bubble, with few windy days, and a lots of sunshine.

It never occurred to me that the wind would be so violent here. On a windy day, I could very easily get blown over on my way to school. The only thing that saves me most days is my heavy book bag and my wellies. The wind here blows snow and rain in your face, and makes the most awful sound when coming through poorly insulated windows. For the last few days the wind has been howling at night, bringing with it rain against the windows, and uncovering a childish fear. This time there are no stuffies to pile around me to make me feel comforted and safe. I’m not afraid of the wind now (I know that it can’t hurt me, and all those comforting things parents say to their kids when they are young and afraid), but I still don’t like the wind, and still wish that I was at home in bed curled up with my cat, or with David (even though he does not understand why I don’t like the wind). Tonight will be one of those nights where I throw on a podcast so that I fall asleep to the sounds of familiar voices rather than to the sounds of the wind.

Since I spent most of the day sleeping, I will need all the sleep I can get now, so that I do not repeat the trend tomorrow.