The Scamp Scamps in Circles

Who am I? What have I done with my life? Who can I trust?

That last one is a doozy. It haunts you in moments of doubt. Sometimes when you wake up at night, you wonder if you’ve put your faith in the right people. Sometimes when you find yourself alone, for whatever reason, you review every little thing you know about someone, searching your memory for small, subtle things that you may have missed about them.

It makes you scared. It makes you think that you’ve made some horrible mistakes lately. It drives you to do something, to act-

~Harry Dresden

 

I still hate studying.

I still hate summer school.

47 days until the test

65 days until I can quit the hellhole I currently work for.

I’m all out of words for the moment. 10 hours of studying, reviewing, and case scenarios has left me brain fried.

Where is a good trashy romance when you need one?

 

The Scamp Battles the Bitchy Biddy Brigade

 

I’m still at war. It has been raging for more than three months now. For those who do not know of my battle, you can find it here: https://ascampabroad.wordpress.com/2014/06/02/the-scamp-prepares-for-battle/

Things just keep getting better. I made my move and talked to the dean, and at her request, did the part of the inventory that was assigned to me. Faculty evaluations have come and gone, and since I try and keep my nose out of the gossip, I have no idea how the B cubed took the news that I was not their personal punching bag.

No one has come sniffing around my desk, or magically appearing in the stacks while I work, and the boss hasn’t forwarded any more emails of my perceived shortcomings, so I claimed a small (albeit important) victory.

Yesterday they retaliated. I have a post-it marking where I left off in my work everyday, and it is just about the finish line (suck on that old women). Since the boss monitors the progress of the project, it was brought to the attention of the group that I was just about done with my section…..so they tripled my workload. Apparently I was too efficient, which is a big no-no at this library, and because of that, I get to do their project.

It was a valiant effort,  but, really? You think that ordering me to do more work than the boss assigned me is really going to work?

Please.

I’ve got plenty of my own work to get back to, and although I had the help of a really awesome student worker, I still have a lot of books coming in and shelf cleaning to do.

and by Friday, I will be back at it. I did what was asked of me, and now I will go on back to my work. The next 68 days, 11 hours and 12 minutes will be spent doing my job to the best of my ability and then proudly march into the bosses office and quit. I’ve already decided on the cards I am going to give the Bitchy Biddy Brigade when I leave.

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I am greatly looking forward to that day.

Next week all of us lowly classified staff have a meeting with the boss. I have decided that will be the stage for my next battle. A little public shaming to make my work days more fun.

Summer school still sucks, studying for the qualifying exam is making me crazy, and I am behind on my research.

In 50 days all of that will be over, and life just might settle down.

Probably not.

The Scamp Learns Through Osmosis

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Let’s be honest, the best way to learn about American community colleges is put the book over my tired face and hope that the musty smell of old library book will help my brain absorb all I need. This picture was taken at 8:30…on a Thursday. There is no reason that I should be as tired as I am, and no reason why I couldn’t read the 36 pages assigned for next week.

This is my second attempt at doing homework. I spent a good three hours trying to code and synthesize books and journal articles for my research class, and after falling asleep twice in my office chair, I decided it was time to switch gears. The picture is proof of how well that worked. I’m only on page 11 (and I am pretty sure the first chapter started on page 10).

This week was hard for me. I’m exhausted. I would love to blame it on the 5 miles I did at the gym yesterday and today, but I know that isn’t the reason.

Stress is the reason. For the last year I have been unemployed. School was my only job. I was in Scotland walking everywhere, on a good sleep schedule, and getting enough fresh air to make me almost forget that I wasn’t seeing the sun. Now that I am home, I have something to do or somewhere to be almost every day of the week. Two days a week I am with my Dillybean, two days a week I am working as an AVID tutor, two days a week I do nothing but homework in order to be ready for my Monday study group. I also have the added bonus of a being completely twitterpaited with a boy I can only see on the weekends. All of this is good stress. I love my Dillybean, I love working with AVID, my study group is amazing, and I signed up for the degree, so the homework has to be done. The thing is, the stress hits me extra hard, and wreaks havoc on me. Thanks to my disease, my body goes into shutdown mode to deal with stress. Suddenly everything from focusing on my reading, to walking up stairs, to chewing food is hard for me. My life is very different than it was a year ago. Very very different.

To combat this, I am going to spend the weekend in my pjs, doing my reading and research, get some quality time with my yoga mat, and take a lot of naps.

Hopefully by Monday I will know a little bit more about American community colleges, and will feel a little less like I’ve been awake for 48 hours.

Wish me luck….I’m going to need it.