wanderlust | The Scamp Abroad

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 45

Posted on November 11, 2016 by erranteditor

I’ve just eaten an entire large chocolate bar that is making me sorta want to barf, and I am about to say something that I never ever ever ever thought I would say:

I’m ashamed to be American right now. As a general rule, I try not to talk about politics on social media, but in this case, I have to say something. Look, Donald Trump is not my idea of a president. Hilary Clinton wasn’t either. But, democracy has made it so Mr. Trump is now the president, and as much as I may not like it, it isn’t going to change. My shame is not about that. My shame comes from the way people have been acting for the past few days. I’ve been staying off social media for the most part because all I see are hateful people spewing hateful rhetoric. My liberal friends are now assuming that anyone who did not vote for Mrs. Clinton is of the mindset of Trump, that white people can’t be sympathetic or afraid of the possible changes in the country, and chants of ‘not my president’ when four and even eight years ago if someone would have said that then they were racist. My conservative friends are getting resentful of having to defend their choice, of trying to get people to see beyond who they cast a vote for. They are starting to be hateful about people being upset over the results, and being afraid for the future. I am sick to my stomach over the stories, from my friends and in the media, about racial slurs, religious insults, and homophobia running rampant. No one should have to give a fake name at Starbucks because they are afraid of what people would do if they know they are from the Middle East. I’m equally as disgusted with the rioting, looting, and violent protest. Do you really think that is going to help your cause? Destroying your city, making people look at you like you are an idiot instead of a person who is worried about the future of the country and the people in and want to make sure their voices are heard?

The worst is universities cancelling exams, offering pizza and other forms of comfort rather than giving students a space to grieve, and then making sure that they educate them on the election process and the system, and remind them of the ways they can be helpful and productive in this time of crazy uncertainty. This is what happens when you give everyone a participation trophy. They don’t learn about hard work, fighting for what they believe in, or how to be gracious winners or losers. Right now America looks ignorant, spiteful, mean, and to be honest, is getting exactly what they deserve.

But it still leaves me sick. I’m an expat. I do not plan to move back to the States, but I have never been ashamed of where I came from until now. I’m hoping that people settle down and focus on the things that matter, and that maybe Mr. Trump will not be as bad as people seem to think given that he hasn’t done anything yet. I’m hoping that people remember that showing love to others, volunteering time, and maybe money to programmes like Planned Parenthood and other federally funded programmes of that nature is what is going to help get through this.

On to something better….the writing challenge for the week. This week is dedicated to the job I would have if money was no object. I can talk about this all day. I would love to be a travel writer. My dream is to spend my life living in different places for three or four months at a time and writing about what life is like there. I would also like to be able to start my nonprofit literacy foundation and help people learn to read. I always saw it as an organization that helped people learn to read and write in their native language, and then learn to read, write, and speak English (or another language that would allow them to interact with people around them). I would love to work with different cultures and different people helping them enjoy books as much as I do. I also want to bring the Reading with Rover to more libraries. Everyone should get to read to a puppy. My wanderlust is always there, and so is my love for books and learning, so being able to do all of those things at once, and maybe even make some lives better in the process sounds all right by me.

So, who is going to judge me if I find a sugar daddy to help fund some of these projects? Anyone? No. Good.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 37

Posted on September 14, 2016 by erranteditor

Week 37 is a good week for writing. I think it is a topic that I can really find a lot to write about: something I am good at. I happen to think that there are a lot of things I am good at: being negative, overly critical of myself, stressing out, self doubt….the list goes on. I’m also good at napping, finding ways to avoid most social situations, and having odd reactions to medication.

No. In all seriousness, I have many talents that I am actually proud of (well, the napping is something that I am proud of). I think one thing that I am very good at is research. Maybe it was my years as a librarian, maybe it is my love of education and being a student, but doing research, finding articles and sources to support my claims, things of that nature do not make me want to cry. When I worked for the University of San Diego Law School, I was able to track down an obscure Japanese article that had not been translated into English. That was a proud moment for me (and a life saving moment for the Law Review student who had to verify the source in an article). For my thesis I have been able to track down the first use of the word feed forward, and track down specific survey results from ten years ago. I have every confidence that my research skills will help me out has I get deeper into the writing of my draft chapters.

I also think that I am a good traveler. I think my wanderlust and love of visiting new places has made me a good person to travel with. I’ve only cried in one airport four years ago, and I think that was more about my lack of sleep, four heavy bags, and how ridiculous London Heathrow is to navigate. I’d like to think I am a very versatile traveler. I like a good plan and can have a week’s trip planned with all sorts of great things to do and see (I love me the Lonely Planet guide book), or I can go with the flow and just wander in a new place and see what I can find. I like those days, or the days on the beach. Days on the beach are my favourite. In my old age I have become more easy going about hiccups, bad hotel rooms, plans changing, weather, and dealing with tourists. I’d also like to think that I am fun to be around.

I’m sure there are more things that I am good at, but for the moment, I am way too tired to think about it, and I’ve wasted almost an hour and a half on this and drag queens when I should be working on my methodology chapter. I’ve also realized that I can cross one more thing off my list: Start a new tradition. I cannot go home at Christmas and my birthday, so my mom comes to visit me at Thanksgiving. When I moved back to California I had a tradition of spending Thanksgiving in another country, and now my mom is helping me keep that tradition alive. This year she is meeting me in Paris, and next year we are thinking that Amsterdam. I cannot wait to have my favourite travel buddy with me in new countries. She is really the only person who will take photos with Pirate Rubber Chicken.

I will be sneaking into California next week to participate in the ultimate JEW wedding and to teach my muffin how to say ‘Aunty Kimmy’. I promise you, by the 1st of October that little bundle of perfect will be speaking his first words, and they will be ‘Aunty Kimmy’ (or I will settle for immy, as it will be easier for him to say).

Learn how to drive in the UK.
~~Present at an academic conference~~
~~Start a new tradition~~
~~Go back to therapy~~
Visit three new countries (1/3 done with my trip to Malta)
Ride in a hot air balloon
~~Quit the tutoring centre~~
Volunteer for a literacy programme
~~Read a book that has more than 500 pages~~
~~Make my bed everyday for at least three months~~
Have a solid draft of my thesis completed
Master scorpion pose
~~Attend the symphony~~
Learn a rap song from start to finish
~~Host a dinner party~~
Create a budget so I can pay down my student loans
Create something original
Create a solid workout regime
Go on a long hike (6 miles or more)
Learn to dance
Eat an exotic meal
Learn to cook a fancy meal
~~Yell at a football match~~
Go horseback riding
Master British spelling and punctuation
Create a good sleep schedule
See my favorite group in concert
Fall in love
Stop holding grudges
Let go of my expectations

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 36

Posted on September 10, 2016 by erranteditor

Today I tried to organize my shoes. I bought some hanging show racks to put in my closet…trouble is, my shoes are too heavy to keep them fastened to the bar. I’ve managed to get them under my bed, but I have a feeling it is going to be a struggle for me to keep them organized when I pull the racks out to get the shoes I want. For now though, they are organized and underneath my bed no longer looks scary.

But my struggle with limited closet space and an inability to keep things neat are not the point of the challenge for the week. The challenge for the week is to think about my dream job. The flippant answer is my dream job is marrying a rich guy who will buy a house with lots of land and let me adopt as many stray puppies and kitties and rabbits as I want. A job that I seem to want lately is professional napper. I am always tired, and I am really good at naps. That would be the perfect job for me. All I need is a comfy bed, or a hammock, or a lounge chair on a sandy beach in the sun….and enough money to pay off my student loans.

I suppose I should say that my dream job is one that I can wake up every day and be excited about. Something that makes me happy, helps some people, and maybe leaves the world in a little better shape then it was the day before. I like to think that I will be able to do that once I complete my degree and someone is crazy enough to let me work for a university, but that remains to be seen.

If I get to spend a little time in fantasy land, I think my dream job would be one of two things: a travel writer, or the mastermind behind a world wide literacy programme. I’d really love the second one. I’d love to travel to places and help kids (and maybe adults who never had the chance) fall in love with reading. I’d love to go all over the world and get to meet all kinds of interesting and wonderful people. It wouldn’t be about a focus on teaching people English, but teaching them to read in their native language (I mean, obviously, for some of those people it would be English), and teaching them English if they are interested in learning. A selfish part of me would love it because then I would get to visit all sorts of interesting places, and learn about all kinds of different people. It is another thing I think I would do if I married a rich man. Get him to provide some seed money to start that nonprofit.

Being paid to travel, and then write about my adventures is the ultimate fantasy. I’d love to be able to wander the globe and experience new things. I am happiest when I am travelling, and being paid to do it would be amazing. I wonder if I could sweet talk Lonely Planet into hiring me to write for their guide books. Maybe I should join a tour company and be a guide.

Wait….I hate people. Scratch that. I’d never be able to hide my resting bitch face, and rude tourists drive me crazy. I’ll just stick to writing or sharing my love of books with the world.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 20

Posted on May 20, 2016 by erranteditor

On this day three years ago I was greeted at the airport with a sign that said “Welcome Home Shithead”

I’d finished my coursework for my MSc, had three months to write my dissertation before starting the EdD programme, and had a lot of sunshine to catch up on. My dissertation became my full time job, with breaks for the pool and the gym. I was experiencing reverse culture shock in a major way, and coming off the terrible break-up with David, I was very unsure about my future.

Flash forward to today: I’m sitting on the window ledge in the flat of one of my best friends in Scotland. We have been doing buddy work from home Friday for the last few weeks. I’ve finished a second draft of a paper for my thesis, I have a therapy appointment in a couple of hours, and a study date with the boy this evening. In 30 days I will celebrate my 1 year anniversary living in Scotland, and will be getting ready for my official transfer of title making me the very first PhD in education at Edinburgh Napier University.

The writing challenge for this week is to think about the ways I have changed in the last year. To be honest, I am not sure I have enough time or space to write about how I have changed in the last year. This time last year I was getting ready to say goodbye to the US. I was packing for Spain and Portugal, I was shipping boxes to Scotland to be here when I arrived, and I was not feeling depressed at all. I thought that all of my problems were solved because I was moving back to the one place in this world that I ever felt like home. I thought I had worked through my issues with the EdD. program, thought I was done with therapy, and thought that I was ready to tackle the world on my own. I was cocky, and living in a bit of a fantasy land.

Today I know that moving doesn’t always solve all your problems, but that they are much easier to deal with when you are happy where you live. I’m not as cocky, and while I still think I can tackle the world, I’ve learned that it is a lot more fun to do with the help and support of others. I’m more open about my depression, and the work that I am doing to manage my symptoms. I’m more open about needing help. I’m learning that it is important not to stop therapy when you feel like you are feeling better, but rather keep going, and keep working on myself so that those good feelings last a lot longer than the bad ones. I learned how to play the political game, which is serving me well this time around.

I’ve changed physically as well. I’ve added 5 tattoos to my body, I’m whiter than I have ever been, and I weigh more now than I ever have. While those last two bother me a bit, I am hoping that with summer just around the corner I can add some color to my skin. The weight bothers me, but as the boy has pointed out, he clearly likes the way I look, and that means I am probably the healthiest I have ever been. While I am very much still a work in progress, I am definitely headed in the right direction. I’d say that have learned so much about myself and the world in the last year that I have undoubtedly become a better person.

I really like the idea that I become a better person with the passing of each new year. I can get behind an idea like that.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 12

Posted on March 27, 2016 by erranteditor

The single most depressing thing to my new found sense of Britishness is a bad cup of tea. I have become quite the connoisseur of tea in the last 8 months, and while I was in California I picked up a box of hibiscus passion tea that sounded amazing.

It isn’t.

It will taste great as iced tea, but as a hot drink, it leaves a strange aftertaste and smells a bit odd…of course, I have been sick for two weeks, and am currently producing more snot than should be humanly possible, so that could very well be the problem.

On to more important things. I’m supposed to be working on a script for a presentation I am giving on April 6th. I’m doing a pecha-kucha (my supervisor called it a Manchu Pichu, and someone else said bless you after I mentioned it). That means I have 20 slides and 20 seconds a slide to get my point across. I got the presentation done, but trying to say more than ten words in 20 seconds is proving to be a challenge.

I am not known for my brevity.

This quandary I find myself in speaks perfectly to the writing challenge for this week. The goal for this week is to think of one word that describes my life right now and one word that I wish described my life.

Let’s start with my current word: Stressful

Much the way trying to say everything I need to in 20 seconds is driving me bonkers, the state of my life right now has me feeling like one big ball of stress and snippyness. In addition to trying to get this presentation done, I am having to beat feet to collect the rest of my data for this year, and write the first draft of a paper I am trying to get published all before the end of April. Part of this was my fault for not getting the data collection done before I left for California, and for not working on my paper while I was there, but part of it is just the nature of being an academic. Couple that with the project being done at the university, and my work at the tutoring center, I am feeling a bit like my life is just a blur of diary appointments right now. I’ve been back for almost two weeks and I cannot even tell you what I had for dinner last night (wait, the dishes are still in the sink….I had pasta with garlic and herbs. Guess I need to add clean my flat to the list of things that needs to get done).

The word that I wished described my life right now? Adventurous

Don’t get me wrong, there is a certain amount of adventure that comes with being an expat and living in Scotland. There is a certain amount of adventure to my life no matter where I am living, but right now, the only thing that I want to be doing is traveling. I have been spending an awful lot of time planning trips to different places. I made the list of 30 things I want to do before I am 30, and visiting three new countries is on the list. I’ve been looking into a trip to Paris in November, and a trip to Malta in September. That trip to Malta is giving me so many problems. I am having a really hard time coming up with reasons why I shouldn’t book it right now. I don’t want to feel stressed. I want to wear cute sundresses and sandals. I want to wear a bikini and get a tan. I want to see sunshine.

I don’t want to feel antsy and uncertain. I don’t want to take hours to get something written because I am so afraid that it is going to suck or that people are going to hate it, or I am going to let my supervisors down because my writing isn’t strong enough.

But first, I am going to take a nap. Naps solve everything, even a bad cup of tea.

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 42

Posted on October 15, 2015 by erranteditor

I have almost survived another week.

Almost.

This week has been rough for me. I’ve been feeling a bit down, and have no real reason for it. I spent most of the day on my couch staring at articles and wishing that I could feel some motivation to do something productive. The one time I ventured out of my flat today I got caught in the rain without my umbrella (Of course, I have been carrying that thing around for a week and it hasn’t rained once) and I took that as a sign that today was just not meant for working.

Tomorrow is another day.

Since I was feeling lousy, I decided that it might be a good time to look at the challenge for this week. This week is an easy one: my favorite possession. I’m not huge on material things, but there is one thing that I value above all of my other things (including my flamingo shoes, my pirate rubber chicken, and all of my yoga pants): my passport.

That’s right. My favorite possession is my passport. That tiny little book is one of the greatest things that I have ever been given. It not only allows me to live in Scotland, but it supports my wanderlust, and has allowed me access to some of the most incredible places in the world. It is the one thing that I am sure to bring with me on my travels, and it is the one thing that reminds me that I can be a gypsy soul when the mood strikes me. I’ve been looking at it a lot the last couple of days, dreaming about the next place I could go (It is a thing that I do when I am sad…I plan fantasy trips). I am grateful that I have it, and grateful for all of the opportunities that I get from it. I realize that not everyone is as lucky to have a passport, or even to be able to go just about anywhere with it, and I plan to make really good use of it for as long as I can.

The Scamp All Packed

Posted on May 30, 2015 by erranteditor

but ready to go?

Today I moved the last of my things that will not be going with me to Scotland. All of my pots, pans, Tupperware, cooking utensils, forks, knives, and a desk that I barely used, but did serve as a secure place for all my bills, pay stubs, and kept all of my notes, textbooks, and school related things while I was working on my MA.

I haven’t actually looked at most of this stuff for the last three years, but when I was moving the box of Tupperware, it broke open and I was flooded with memories of the last ten years with some of those things. It seems so final now that they are gone, most of my clothes and shoes are packed, and the things that I cannot take now are already postmarked to be shipped for a later date. It all seems so permanent now. I am not coming back to live in the United States. By this time next week, I will be in London, about to get on a plane for Madrid for a little bit of time to relax before I make my way to Scotland to start my dream job, in my dream city, and finally reach my goal of completing my PhD. I’ve always wanted adventure, I’ve always been prone to wander, I’ve never been afraid to take a chance, to do things on my own, or to march to the beat of my own drum.

I’ve had the dream of going back to Scotland for two very long years, and the goal to earn my PhD and work in higher education for the last seven years.

I am three weeks away from reaching all of my major goals….and I am fucking terrified.

See, the thing that nobody tells about reaching all of your goals is that it is the scariest thing in the world (and I’ve jumped out of a plane, I have multiple tattoos, travel by myself, and get in a car with my father). I am so terrified that I am going to wake up tomorrow and it will all be a dream. I will still be miserable at Cal State Fullerton, still not have enough money for real insurance, my own apartment, or my massive student loans, and still be profoundly depressed

To be honest, there is no way I could survive a cruel joke like that. Not to mention that I have already sold my car, and most of my possessions.

I know that this fear is normal, and the finality of the situation is starting to sink in, so I am having a momentary freak-out, but it is still a little bit scary.

I’m doing it though. I’m jumping in with both feet, and going to settle into Scotland, and I am going to be a kick-ass expat.

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge Week 11

Posted on March 24, 2015 by erranteditor

I’m way behind. Way way way behind with the challenge. It is to the point now that I feel guilty when I miss the post, and it gnaws on me. That being said, I have been grading poorly written midterms, celebrating birthdays, and minorly freaking out that the paperwork for my new life in Scotland is not yet complete. March is almost over, and I need my passport on June 5th, so the days are slowly trickling away. I’m starting to freak out and stress a bit.

But, back to the challenge. I’m supposed to be focused on the good, not the bad.

Week 11 is all about a person that inspires me. This was hard for me. I’ve spent a long time with my head buried in the sand lately, so it is hard for me to really think of who really inspires me.

There are a lot of people that would fall under this category, but I ultimately settled on a fellow gypsy soul, who not only understands the value of seeing the world, but does a pretty amazing job of writing about his adventures along the way.

Nathan and I met in 2009 when we both registered for a literature class dedicated to Mark Twain. I was working for Professor Gregg Camfield at the time as a project manager for the updating and renovating of the museum at Angle’s Camp. The class served as research assistants, and each of us was in charge of putting together a small presentation for the Mark Twain exhibit. I was in charge of keeping everything together, and for helping the museum map out how the exhibit would come together. Nathan and I got to know each other over discussions of literature, and then the poor guy got to know me even better (or at least see me in my penguin pajamas more than anyone should) when he started dating my roommate. After I graduated from UC Merced and moved to San Diego for my MA, Nathan and I would occasionally chat through Facebook, but I would not call our relationship more than a casual acquaintance.

It was actually writing that offered us a chance to reconnect. When I moved to Scotland the first time, Nathan was one of my original readers. Despite not actually seeing each other since 2009, social media and the internet has allowed us to have some interesting discussions about books, writing, and the need to travel.

After he graduated from college with a degree in Art History, he found himself in a life that was not making him happy, so he did what many of us would never have the courage to do, he quit his job and bought a one way ticket to Europe. He started a blog, and has been making money by writing and chronicling his adventures as he explores every corner of Europe. You can find his writing here: http://lifeisacamino.com/

This is the part of him that really inspires me. I spent a long time thinking that there was something wrong with me because the thing in life that made me happy was traveling. I do not know many people that love adventure and writing as much as I do, but Nathan is definitely one of them. His writing skills, honesty, and sense of adventure makes me jealous more often than not, but reaffirms my desire to travel and explore the world as much as I can.

Sadly, his adventure is about to come to an end. He will return home in May, and hopefully he continues to write and explore, and be a gypsy soul. He has inspired me to write more of my travels, and not second guess my choice to be a wanderer while I am still able.

“There’s a race of men that don’t fit in,
A race that can’t sit still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin, And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain’s crest; Their’s is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don’t know how to rest.”
― Robert W. Service

The Scamp and Her Gypsy Soul

Posted on September 19, 2014 by erranteditor

316 days, 11 hours, and 52 minutes until I complete my coursework for the EdD program.

64 days, 12 hours, 51 minutes until Thanksgiving break.

Not that I am counting.

Thanksgiving means a chance to go to Estonia (I hope) and see one of my best friends, and the end of my coursework means a trip to Spain and Portugal with my parents.

My gypsy soul needs to wander soon. I’m getting restless.

“There’s a race of women that don’t fit in, A race that can’t sit still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin, And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain’s crest;Their’s is the curse of the gypsy blood,

And they don’t know how to rest.”
― Robert W. Service

The Scamp and the Travel Bug

Posted on May 13, 2014 by erranteditor

This summer there is an alumni event for the University of Edinburgh in Toronto. I am not Canadian, and the three days of Canadian alumni themed lectures and activities. There is no reason for me to go. I’d have to take two days off of work, miss one of the summer school classes, and would lose a day or two of studying for the qualifying exam.

There is also the small detail of paying for a plane ticket.

So why I am thinking about going? Seriously, seriously considering it. One of my good friends lives in Toronto and would be down for a visit, I’ve never been to Canada, and I am feeling restless here. This weekend will mark my one year anniversary of being back in the States, and I have yet to really readjust to the life I have here.

So while I should be studying for my last final of the semester, I am looking up flights to Toronto and trying to figure out if I can really afford the trip both monetarily and in terms of time.