At 6:30 pm BST I made it to Scotland.It was a long 30+ hours. I had a lot of time to think, and I think I finally realized the magnitude of the choice that I have made. I’m not really a crier, but lately, I’ve been crying a lot.

I cried at the ticket counter at the start of my trip because all of the info the stand in travel agent gave me was wrong and it cost me ten times what I thought it would to check my bag.

I cried before I got on the plane because I broke a zipper on one of my suitcases and had to repack all 4 bags to fit the weight requirements. I cried trying to get to the gate because my carry ons were very heavy and hard to carry and people kept telling me to go to the wrong gates.

I cried on the plane when  I found a copy of Guess How Much I love you that my mom snuck into my bag while I was trying to find one of the 4 million snacks that she packed for me.

I cried when I looked through the movie selection and Anchorman was the first choice. Lindsey quotes that movie to me all the time, and even though I have been a royal pain in the ass for the last few months and she is trying to get settled with class, work and a new city without G, she told me she would Skype me as much as I needed so I wouldn’t be lonely. She gave me tips and some great advice before I left too to make this trip as easy as possible.

I cried when I watched Men in Black 3 because Kelly loves those movies and we saw the first two in the theaters together. She kept telling me how selfish I was for leaving her and moving over here, but I don’t think she thinks I will miss her as much as I will.

I cried when I watched some dumb TV show and the girl talked about being in a cult in Mt. Shasta and that made me think of Joe and all the crazy things I know that he is going to do while he should be studying and working on his degree.

I cried when I was tired of watching movies and the music selection was everything from my ipod and every song that was played reminded me of David and how selfish I was to leave him for a year after I worked so hard to convince him that he wanted to be in a relationship with me.

I cried at the 90s music that played because it reminded me of Erika and Katie and all of the times I have sung Whitney Houston with Katie in various states of inebriation.

I cried in London when I had to lug my heavy bags everywhere and spent a whole lot of time being shuffled in the wrong terminals and the wrong lines for customs. I was a hot sweaty mess by the time I finally made it to the plane for Scotland. I ended up being able to catch a 30 min nap and that has been enough to sustain me until now. Now all I want to do is close my eyes and sleep until Saturday. I have a feeling I will be doing a lot of crying trying to get my bags moved into the dorm and take care of everything that needs to be done for move-in day. As much as I know I need to do this alone and learn how to be independent, I wish someone was here to help me navigate the day.

Tomorrow my goal for the day is to run errands and hang out outside as much as possible. I’m hoping it goes a lot smoother than the last 24 hours.