I have an MA in Rhetoric. I have a BA in Literature. I love words. I love to read them, love to listen to them, and I really love to speak them. It’s that last part that usually gets me in trouble. Today was no exception.
Yesterday the whole of Lee House (the dorm I live in) received an email that since someone (or in this case, a group of people) felt the need to trash the common room, then we were all going to be fined for the repairs if the twat bags who did the crime did not fess up. The dorm has a group Facebook page, and when someone else in the dorm posted about the email (and I know that this girl was not involved in the destruction), the boys who were involved made the comment that since it was only a few pounds per person, we should just be happy and pay the fine. My comment was that it wasn’t the amount of the fine, but the fact that most of us were being punished for a room we don’t go in was not real fair. I then mentioned to the RA who chimed in that he was kidding himself if he thought his urge to the culprits to turn themselves in would do anything. I said if they didn’t respect Lee House enough to not damage property, then they were not going to respect us enough to turn themselves in. Then the little assholes who did the damage started in on me. They called me negative (ok, that one is true) and told me I needed to relax and just pay the fine so that everyone could go back to enjoying the room. Of course he spelled always as all ways, so I itched to correct him and offer to tutor him in spelling (I mean, I teach writing, if you are going to insult me, at least spell things right for fuck’s sake). This led them to question if I even lived in the building, and mock me using youtube videos (for those of you who think this is funny and I am overreacting, please just keep it to yourself) and then decided that of course it was me that damaged everything and stole a cable for the TV and get this, I did it all because Obama is the president. They again misspelled some of their insults, and the urge to correct them was strong, but I didn’t want to feed the fire. Usually stuff like this wouldn’t bother me. Usually snobby kids like this that think they rule the world wouldn’t make it on my radar. I’d tell them to go fuck themselves and then move on with my life. After all, in 6 months I will be back home with my family and I will still be in contact with the people here who matter to me.
The thing is, I’ve been off my game lately. The food here sucks, and the twat bags can run rampant with no consequence so I haven’t slept in weeks. I’m tired, I’m hungry, and I don’t have a job, so spending money on nights out to eat a good meal or to get some peace is not quite in my budget. The only thing that is keeping me from going all Carrie up in here is the fact that they’d probably throw me in jail if I killed all of them and then I wouldn’t be able to go home. I’m trying to hold on to the fact that I will be home in a few weeks and at the end of the day these kids are nothing more than a cockroach that needs to be stepped on. Today I have no room for personal attacks or insults or jokes made at my expense because I made a logical point (and once I did it without my usual charm and snark).
If I could go back in time a few hours, I would have simply just grumbled and complained to myself about the fine and went about my business. You’d think I would have learned by now. Instead, I am taking sage advice from one of my best friends, “curl up in bed with your favorite movie and let today pass.”
As postscript to this: I had dinner with my best friends here and they made me feel a lot better. They were angry on my behalf and made me laugh through the meal. I had a good laugh with the rest of the 4th floor as they attempted to make me feel better, and while I still don’t think that they would have been as upset as I was, they did make it seem less like my fault for opening my mouth and more like them just being assholes. I’m still going to keep my nose out of any Lee House business, but at least I feel less whiny and depressed now. Too bad there is no ice cream.