The challenge this week is to write about a word I overuse.
Easy. The word I overuse is: fine.
I must say at least 50 times a day that I am fine.
Fine seems to be my go-to for describing how I feel.
Fine seems to be my go-to for describing how my work is going.
Fine seems to be my go-to when I have to make sacrifices to do what other people want, regardless of if I want it.
I’m in a mood this week after accidentally stumbling on a wedding photo of an ex. I’m not upset that he is married. He cheated on me six years ago. I do not want to be the one in the photo with him. I’m upset that I had to see it and therefore acknowledge that he exists. I’d rather live in ignorance, and pretend he no longer exists. Out of sight, out of mind. Now he isn’t.
And during a month when I am worried about my future; when I’ve gotten rid of people that are bad for me; when I tried really hard not to lose people who are bad for me; when I was stuck in cold Edinburgh instead of visiting my nephews in warm California.
So I say that I am fine, but I am not really fine.
On the plus side, I saw the sun today and went out wearing a jacket not made for snow, and I watched the sunset at 7:30 this evening….which means it is finally spring.
I like spring. Everything comes back to life in spring.