The Scamp Abroad

The Scamp in Helsinki

Posted on November 25, 2014 by erranteditor

I will never make fun of my mom and her love for guided tour vacations again. I like to go on solo adventures, and I love exploring new places, but exploring a place where I don’t speak the language and the map doesn’t exactly make sense does not lend itself to a good day of sightseeing.

I went on a mini guided bus tour of the city, but then had a whole day to myself to wander around alone. The day started off with a cruise from Tallinn to Helsinki

I did not take this photo. My butt was on a boat at 7 am and the sun was not out yet. This is what the boat looks like though.

I spent the day wandering through the maze of shopping centers and looking at the beautiful architecture. I had a really hard time reading the map, so I made a few circles before I was able to find some of the museums.

The only problem was that most of them are closed on Mondays.

opps.

I was able to see some of the wonderful architecture

My favorite part of the day in Helsinki was visiting The Temppeliaukio Kirkko (Rock Church) is a thrilling work of modern architecture in Helsinki. Completed in 1969, it is built entirely underground and has a ceiling made of copper wire. According to Sacred Destinations:

The Temppeliaukio Kirkko was designed by architect brothers Timo and Tuomo Suomalainen. Construction began in 1968 and was finished a year later in 1969. The architects chose a rocky outcrop rising about 40 feet above street level, and blasted out the walls from the inside.

The Temppeliaukio is now most commonly known by its English name, the Rock Church or Church in the Rock. It is one of the most popular tourist attractions in Helsinki and frequently full of visitors.

The church was beautiful. It was peaceful and quiet, and surprisingly warm inside. Chicken and I sat among the other tourists and said a quick prayer before we moved on for the day. I would have stayed there a lot longer if I knew I wasn’t going to be able to read a map.

It is funny to me that I got lost in Scotland a lot that first month. Not once did it bother me. I had my ipod and a playlist of good music and I would laugh at myself and the things I stumbled on accidentally. That was not quite the case here. I was a little discouraged that the map let me down, and not enough people understood English well enough to help me. After awhile, I was tired of wandering alone, and wished I had someone there to take funny pictures with, and someone who would help me pose chicken in front of all the landmarks.

I’m now in Latvia, and I am going to try and break the cycle and read a map in Latvian tomorrow. I have a Lonely Planet guide books, a map of the city, and a mission to locate a Jewish Synagogue that was only spared during WWII because of how close it was to Old Town and where the Nazis were occupying. Lonely Planet also suggests I go on an art walk, which I think sounds like a great idea. If I had enough time, I would have planned a trip to the national park outside the city to tour the castles, and bungee jump from a cable car (don’t worry mom, there is not enough time for that to happen).

I’m excited for a scamp around the place of my mother’s people, and a chance to eat some very yummy pelmeni.

The Scamp in Estonia

Posted on November 25, 2014 by erranteditor

It is no secret that I am a wanderer. I get antsy if I stay in one place for too long. With all of the shit I have had to deal with these last few months with the racists in my grad program, my trip to Estonia could not come soon enough.

I have not spent a Thanksgiving in the United States in a few years, and saw no reason to break the tradition. So, on the 1 year anniversary of getting on a plane to head back to Scotland for my graduation, I got on a plane and headed to Estonia to visit one of my favorite people. Before I left, I planned a hot air balloon ride, a day trip to Finland, and an overnight in Latvia.

Estonia did not disappoint. The balloon ride over the city was freezing, but provided a great view of the city.

Chicken is having fun too.

Susanne and I also went to Catherine the Great’s summer palace to see how the rich people live. It was great walking around in the snow, getting to talk to Sus, and putting some much needed space between me and the United States.

I have a few more days at the end of the week to spend in Tallinn, and I cannot wait to explore the city a little bit more.

The Scamp and a Jetplane

Posted on November 21, 2014 by erranteditor

The day has finally arrived. Tomorrow I will be on my way to Estonia for a week.

Not only do I get to spend time with one of my favorite people in the world, but I have an action packed week full of interesting destinations and culture, art, and history galore. I plan to detail my journeys for the next week. My mom has given me her camera which means I will have high quality photographs of my adventure.

See ya later California!

The Scamp and Art

Posted on November 10, 2014 by erranteditor

Finally a piece of art that I can relate to.

Woman Encircled by the Flight of a Bird, 1941 by Joan Miro

I am happy to report that I will be traveling to Spain in June, and I am hoping that somewhere along the way, I can stumble on this masterpiece.

In 12 days I will be on a plane bound for Estonia.
In 207 days I will be on a plane bound for Spain, Portugal, and Gibraltar.
In 264 days my prison sentence is lifted and I no longer have to interact with the bullies.

I finished a draft draft methodology chapter today. It is not 100% the project that I want to do, but I am proud of how it came together, and I am excited to get feedback from the professor before I present it as part of my proposal at the end of next semester.

I cannot wait for the traveling to begin.

The Scamp Opens Her Eyes

Posted on October 25, 2014 by erranteditor

I have been very negative lately. My life has been a revolving cycle of work, school, research, grade, repeat. Because of that, I let myself get caught up in the drama of my cohort, and really let five horrible women almost drive me from the program. While I am still not sold on staying, I am learning to let what goes on in that room once a week stay there. That room does not represent the real world, and does not represent the people I will be working with, and the students I hope to help.

Today I felt vindicated. I am in the process of completing a basic skills certification for my job. For the last few months I have been attending workshops that range from how to help students read their textbook to how to reduce stress in the classroom. The workshop this morning was entitled: How to Overcome the Institutional Alienation of At-risk African American and Hispanic Students. At first I wasn’t going to go. I get enough of this from my cohort, and I did not think I could sit for two hours and listen to how horrible I am because I am white. I need the hours, and I feel that helping at-risk students regardless of race is important, so I decided I would give it a shot. When I left the house this morning, I decided that I was going to sit in the back of the room and not say anything. I can not afford to make anymore waves in my bubble, and pissing off people where I work is not something that I want to do.

I could not have been more shocked about the workshop I participated in today. While the statistics presented demonstrated that people of color are the most at-risk when they enter college, the discussion that we had was about how to help at-risk students. The only time race was mentioned was when the presenters mentioned that at the conference they went to, the presenter was the number one thing a teacher can do to alienate a student in their classroom is see them as a monolith for their race, and treat them based on the color of their skin. The discussion revolved around barriers that any at-risk student would have entering college, and what the institution can do to help break down these barriers and help promote student success.

It was the discussion that I wish I could have every Tuesday night. The presenters kept saying “What can WE as an institution do to help students?” The room was full of men, women, old, young, humanities teachers, math teachers, and science teachers. There were Asians, African Americans, Hispanics and Latinos, and White people. No one was singled out by their race, and the blame was placed on the institution as a whole, not on the race of the people involved. I left that workshop finally understanding what it meant to grow and learn as a educator, and finally learning what it would be like for me working in the real world. This is how educators behave. This is how open and honest conversation brings about change. When I discussed a bit of what the conversations are like in my class, one of the presenters told me that was a retrograde way of thinking, and that was not how progressive educators worked.

So while the program is still awful, and I am far from being a proud Titan, it feels good to know that I have now been snapped out of the Twilight Zone, and when I make it into the working world as a professional, my ideas about change, and my strategies for helping students are valuable, and have merit. Why it took me so long to figure out, I have no idea, but I am happy that my eyes are open now.

The Scamp and Sugar

Posted on October 21, 2014 by erranteditor

Connective Tissue Disorder: 2; Kim: 0

Thanks to MediCal, it has been almost a year since I have seen my rhuematologist. I have been referred to three different specialists only to be told that they do not take MediCal, so I bit the bullet and went to my old doc as a cash patient. I was happy to see him and his nurses. He has been treating me since I was diagnosed in 2008, and I trust and value his care plan for me. I was properly chastised for not coming in sooner, and thoroughly questions about how I have been feeling. I’m always honest with him about all my aches, pains, and general wellness practices, but today is one of those days that I wish I wasn’t.

For the last year I have been having a problem with dry eyes and a dry mouth. My last couple of trips to the dentist have been stress educing. Until two years ago I had only ever had one cavity. Now I am in the double digits for the number of ones I’ve had filled. What I didn’t know was that all of these things were new symptoms of my disease. Dr. Fab (yes, my doctor’s name is Dr. Fab….well it is Fabricant, but everyone calls him Dr. Fab) informed me that my diet is going to have to change in order to counterbalance some of the things my body is doing to me. That included a new toothpaste, and giving up sugar.

No more sugar.

No more peach rings, no sour gummy worms, no more chocolate (I’ve been stress eating that a lot lately), no more ice cream, and no more mojitos. A few months ago I decided to give up dairy (well, tried. I gave up after a month and substantially reduced my diary intake) in order to help with joint pain, and now I am giving up sugar to save my teeth.

I am a sad girl. The next step is to visit a nutritionist so that I can make a diet plan of foods I can eat and ways I can eat them so I don’t get bored.

On the upside, I leave for Estonia in 32 days, there is only 284 days until I am finally rid of the awful people in my program, and I just booked a trip to Spain and Portugal in June. I am beyond excited for all of the trips on the horizon. It is really the only thing keeping me going right now.

The Scamp Makes a List

Posted on October 6, 2014 by erranteditor

The Scamp on the Battleground

Posted on October 1, 2014 by erranteditor

I’m sitting in the middle of my qualitative inquiry class and all I want to do is cry (okay, let’s be honest, I cried. I actually got up and left the room and cried. Giant hiccuping sobs Snot, hiccups, and embarrassment. I came home before the second class started and had a beer, french fries and onion rings). Since I started this program I have continually battled with whether or not I made the right choice.

Days like tonight make the answer very clear: no. I made the wrong choice. I am now extremely depressed in a program that touts me as a racist, and today I learned that the program has never approved a proposal for action research. For anyone who isn’t aware of what action research is, here is a quick breakdown:

Action research is a practical approach to professional inquiry in any social situation. The examples in this component relate to education and are therefore of particular relevance to teachers or lecturers engaged in their daily contact with children or students. But professional practice need not be teaching: it may be management or administration in a school or college, or it may be in an unrelated area, such as medicine or the social services. The context for professional inquiry might change, but the principles and processes involved in action research are the same, regardless of the nature of the practice. (Water-Adams, 2006)

I believe as a future leader, and current practitioner that it is important to look at, and understand the practices in the classroom, and what needs to be changed in order to promote student success. I believe that my proposal not only lends itself to a dissertation, but it has merit and value in the field of basic skills writing. I also believe that as a future leader, I should be looking beyond race when I set out to help my students. I currently have 60 students, and I cannot, for the life of me, tell your the ethnic breakdown of my students.

In the program, that makes me a racist. I have made no secret to my displeasure in class, and my frustration with the mindset of some of the people. I have spent countless hours in therapy trying to deal with the boat I am in, but it is harder and harder for me to remember why I decided to stay in the program. Tonight I was told I have no critical consciousness, and therefore cannot be a good leader, because I do not look at the race, and I do not tailor my classes so that nonwhite students are given priority. I was also told that it is not my fault, I am white, and privileged, so I do not understand how to help students who are not white. I lack professional development which is just as much a problem of the college for not offering it, and me for not seeking it out.

Today I told my professor I saw no reason for me to continue in this program. Between hiccups I told her how attacked I felt, and how this program was only teaching me to be racist. I am not a quitter. I think anyone who really knows me knows that, but for the last year, all I have thought about is quitting. This program is one of the major reasons that I cannot wait to get back overseas. I was willing to just about break my bank to go to Estonia for a week at Thanksgiving, just so I don’t have to be anywhere near this program and these people. I’m seriously considering how bad it would be if I did not come home.

My friends have been pretty great. A few of the people in the program emailed and text me to make sure that I am okay. and my best friend sent me these words of wisdom:

It’s a long road. We’ll be 30 soon though, far smarter than our peers, angry at the world, paying of debt and having the times of our lives

He’s right. I just have to make it to 30. I will still be friends with the few people in the program I have really connected with, and I will never have to deal with the rest of them ever again.

The one thing that I have decided to do is fight this system. I am going to do an action research dissertation. I was the first person they ever allowed to defer admittance, so why can I not be the first person to do action research? I know I shouldn’t try and change the world right now with my work, but I want to do something I am proud of, and I will not be proud of anything less than the study I designed. This will be my giant “f-you” to the program. I haven’t decided if I am going to quit the program or not, but I have a meeting with the director on Monday to discuss my future. That gives me a few days to cool off and think about what I want, and how I am going to get it. In the meantime, I am going to ignore the classes, focus on my writing students, and figure out how to get myself into a clear mindset.

The Scamp Plans a Visit

Posted on September 29, 2014 by erranteditor

In 54 days, 11 hours, and 29 minutes I will be on a plane to Estonia.

This caged bird is getting a week of freedom. My credit card is sad, but my heart is happy. I will get to spend a week with one of my best friends, and get to explore a new country. I don’t care if it snows, or if none of my other friends can make it, the week long break from all that is going on in my bubble here is worth it.

The countdown keeps me going. None of the drama of the program, my frustrations with the research job, or any of my feelings about being home seem that bad when I know that in 54 days I get a break.

This marks the third year in a row that I will not be home for Thanksgiving. I am extremely thankful for the chance to escape my gilded cage. I cannot wait to plan my adventure. I have already decided to visit Helsinki, and Latvia. My family is from Latvia, so I think seeing my roots for a bit might do me a bit of good.

The only thing that would make this trip perfect is if some of my friends from Scotland can come along as well. A year without seeing each other is far too long.

The Scamp and Her Gypsy Soul

Posted on September 19, 2014 by erranteditor

316 days, 11 hours, and 52 minutes until I complete my coursework for the EdD program.

64 days, 12 hours, 51 minutes until Thanksgiving break.

Not that I am counting.

Thanksgiving means a chance to go to Estonia (I hope) and see one of my best friends, and the end of my coursework means a trip to Spain and Portugal with my parents.

My gypsy soul needs to wander soon. I’m getting restless.

“There’s a race of women that don’t fit in, A race that can’t sit still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin, And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain’s crest;Their’s is the curse of the gypsy blood,

And they don’t know how to rest.”
― Robert W. Service