The Scamp Abroad

The Scamp and a Wedding

Posted on August 18, 2014 by erranteditor

Yesterday I watched my college roommate get married.

After a 12 hour round trip drive, I am pretty much fried, so I will leave my corner of blogging heaven with these

This girl mailed me baklava to Scotland when I was depressed about David, sent me puppy videos when Brian dumped me, and let me snark with her at her own wedding. Despite not having physically seen each other since I graduated in 2009, it was like no time passed at all. The hug I got, and the little bit of one on one time was great. Next time I am shooting for a less formal reunion though. I felt honored that she let me share her special day with her and her new husband. I knew 5 years ago that they were going to get married, and I know that they are going to have babies that love the Dodgers and hate football. I cannot wait to see what the future brings for them.

Mazel you two crazy lovebirds!

I’ll get back to the regularly scheduled blogging tomorrow.

maybe.

The Scamp and a Visit from Estonia

Posted on August 11, 2014 by erranteditor

I have been really lazy the last few weeks. I survived summer school and the qualifying exam, and settled in for a couple weeks of doing nothing that related to education.

To start my celebrations, one of my best friends from Scotland came to visit me. She is currently living and working in Estonia, but was in the US visiting her mom, and I was able to get a few days with her. I hadn’t physically seen her in over a year, but picking her up at the airport was like no time had passed at all. It was a good chance to catch up, plan my trip to visit her in November, and be around someone who reminds me of Scotland.

I asked her what she wanted to do before she got here, but she just kept telling me it was up to me. I got to be a tourist for a few days, which worked out well for me because it reminded me that being here is not so bad.

We started the visit with a trip to LA to see some van Gogh and Kandinsky. I love art, and she wanted to be in LA, so it worked out well. After we hung out with some art, we went to the Union Square Market to try the best iced lattte in the world. It was good, but the authentic Mexican food was better.

van Gogh at his finist

I love PopArt

I got up close and personal with a Warhol. I can die happy.

This Kandinsky would look amazing on my wall

Vegan strawberry muffin of awesomeness and a fizzy ginger hopps tea.

The next day we hit the Huntington Beach to soak up some sun and eat some more tasty Mexican food. We met a nice group of baseball players from Oklahoma, and had avoided sunburns.

I got Sus to kiss Duke. He seemed to enjoy it.

The last day of our visit was spent at Disneyland. She hadn’t been since she was 8, and it was a nice chance for her to get to meet my sister. While we were waiting for the tram, we met a nice father/son combo from Glasgow, and I got 15 minutes of wonderful accents.

The visit was way too quick, but it will hold me over until I get to Europe in November. I had so much fun with her, and was so glad that my first bit of time off in two years was spent being a tourist with her.

The Scamp and the Circus

Posted on August 1, 2014 by erranteditor

Not much shows up when you google “circus yoga”. When my study buddy/friend suggested that we meet at the beach and do some circus yoga, I was not sure what to expect. The qualifying exam is tomorrow, and I knew I needed something to relax my brain and break away from study mode. As test approaches, I have been getting more and more anxious, and doubting myself more and more. The idea of trying something new, and hanging out with my study buddy outside of a school setting seemed like the best way to spend a Wednesday night.

Circus yoga did not disappoint. The instructor was this hippie surf chick with long blond hair and a warm warm welcome. She was amazing. Her name is Soyela (you can find her here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Soyela-Yoga/512636495491305). The way her class works is you do a mini yoga routine to stretch and limber up, and then you do acroyoga, hula hoop yoga, and yoga on a slack line (that last one is just as hard as it sounds). There were three of us from study group there, plus the sister and a friend of the girl that invited us. There were three other people who are regulars there, and everyone was super nice.

I felt great. It was nice to be out laughing on the beach hitting myself in the face with a hula hoop and learning to fly. What follows capture the night better than I can do in words.

Sisters learning to trust each other

Soyela teaches me to fly.

She teaches Lorena how to trust

We look good from any angle

Study buddy and I learn to trust the process

Not a bad way to end the day

3 fierce warriors take on Warrior III

I think circus yoga bonding night was a success!

The qualifying exam is tomorrow. The reference sheet is printed, the relaxation is happening, and I am about as ready as I can be. I have no choice but to pass because I do not want to have to take this test again.

Tomorrow, I will be a free woman.

The Scamp Encounters Self Doubt

Posted on July 30, 2014 by erranteditor

The day I have been dreading is fast approaching. I’ve been studying, outlining, practice testing, and talking it out with my study group. I’ve been telling myself everyday that I am going to pass if I put the right amount of time in. I’ve kinda been remembering to take some days off.

And now that the day is almost upon me, I am doubting my ability to succeed.

Two weeks ago I took a practice test. I answered a question about promoting diversity on campus. I outlined a plan that looked at diversity as more than just the color of your skin, and made a plan that would help students of any color, gender, age, socioeconomic status and the like succeed. I left the practice exam feeling good about myself.

I got the comments back from the grader, and all that changed. She all but called me a racist, and all but said that because I am white, I am in power and therefore do not notice that people of color suffer in higher education. She didn’t tell me I would pass the test if I had turned it in as a real response.

It was then that I was painfully reminded of the glaring (yet unmentioned) problem with the program I am in. They do not value diversity. I am one of the few white people in the program, and I might as well sit in the back silently with a sign around my neck that says “white devil”. The idea of diversity and equitable education in this program means that white people are bad and do not need to be included in the help that is provided for students struggling in college.

In this program, I am a racist. I don’t understand struggle because I am white and never had to work hard for anything.

This completely discounts the fact that I grew up in a single parent household with a mom that worked her fucking ass off so I had a roof over my head. Sure, I didn’t struggle, but it is only because she slaved away so we wouldn’t have to.

This does not take into account that I worked hard to get good grades so that I could qualify for scholarships because there was no way that my mom could afford to pay for three kids to go to college.

This does not take into account the countless scholarships I have been turned down for because I am white.

This also doesn’t take into account the three jobs that I consistently have so I can pay my tuition.

I feel like all of that makes me sound whiny. I hate sounding whiny.

What’s worse, is it makes me think that no matter what I do or what kind of educational leader I want to be, for the next two years I will constantly told I am wrong.

This program is killing my spirit.

All of this self doubt makes me regret the choice I made to come home. To get through this program I have to just give the professors they want to hear, and keep my thoughts and opinions to myself. The only thing I am learning from this program is that it is shaping leaders who do not truly value diversity, and will only ever help a certain population of students. The only thing I am learning from this program is that I do not want to be a part of it.

If I did not have so much money invested already, and didn’t need the fancy letter after my name to get a good teaching job overseas, I would have already quit.

The self doubt is starting to affect my studying for the test. I am excited that the test is almost over and that one of my favorite people is about to land on my doorstep for a few days of pure California tourist fun.

Studying sucks, but it sucks a little less the closer I get to the test.

Qualifying exam is in three days…that means three days until FREEEEEEEDDDDDDDOOOMMMMM!

The Scamp Quits

Posted on July 26, 2014 by erranteditor

Today I quit my job.

It has been a long time coming (which is a bit sad since I have only been there a year), but the day finally arrived.

Today I quit my job in favor of a career.

My classes at the community college filled, and I will now make my living doing something I love instead of just something that allows me to barely scrape by and pay my bills.

I’m not really a quitter, so it feels strange to quit a job, but it served its purpose, and now I no longer have to put up with the Bitchy Bitty Brigade. I know that I won’t be there to see those women get their comeuppance, but I would like to think that the universe will right that environment soon enough.

The good news is: it is no longer my problem.

Summer school has finally finished. I survived mostly intact.

The qualifying exam is in 6 days. I wish I had done some more studying, but I think I will be able to pass.

Then I have the first two weeks I have had in almost two years.

The Scamp Gets Over a Hurdle

Posted on July 23, 2014 by erranteditor

Today marks four years of having a little space here to record all the bat shit crazy things that go through my head. Only the last two years or so have been public posts, but so far, this is my longest meaningful relationship as of yet. It has outlasted three different apartments, two jobs, and two boyfriends.

So far, it’s never let me down.

That is not the hurdle that I have gotten past though. A few months ago I admitted to the world that I was depressed again (https://ascampabroad.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/the-scamp-unloads-a-burden/) I also admitted that I was going to have to figure something out to pull myself out of this pit.

The first thing I did was get my medication readjusted.

The second thing I did was find a good therapist. And let me tell you, that has made all the difference. It has been almost four months of really hard work, but I am finally starting to feel better.

I feel like a lot has happened, even in the last four months, more than any person should have to go through all at once, but I would like to think that I came out of this like a champ. I had to give up my therapist because the school only allows for so many visits, but at least in my quest for a new one, I can rest assured knowing that I am making great progress to feeling better. Getting over that first hurdle was huge. It sucked. It sucked a lot.

The alternative sucked more though.

“She had fouled off of the curves that life had thrown at her.”
― W.P. Kinsella, The Thrill of the Grass

Summer school is finally over, the qualifying exam is fast approaching, and one of my best friends is coming to visit in less than two weeks. This marks the end to the first year of the program, my first complete year back in the States, and my first chance to really readjust to being home.

That two weeks off in the middle of August cannot come fast enough.

Bring on the trashy romance novels and the endless hours by the pool. Bring on yoga classes, and trips to the gym. Bring on the Netflix binge marathons.

But most of all, bring on the happy calm feeling that has started to become the norm in my life.

The Scamp and the Brain

Posted on July 19, 2014 by erranteditor

A message from the mama:

Ok my friends and family it is that time again.

It has been six years since I had brain surgery to remove a brain tumor. For the last 2 years, I have been fighting the regrowth of the tumor and have been kicking its ass!

Two years ago I found out about the walk with two-week’s notice. Only Rick and I walked and raised $350. Last year there were 7 of us and I raised $1,000. This year the walk is September 13, 2014. Rick has formed a team for this year. My goal is $1,500.

If you are interested in walking with me or want to donate, log onto:
www.braintumor.org
click on “events” on the top bar
scroll down to Orange County
click on “donate to a participant”
Type in “Rick Davis” or team “Michelle’s Angels”

Thank you for any help you may give.

Michelle Davis

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Clearly you can see she is kicking ass and taking names. Both of these pictures were taken only months ago. The tumor is still hanging out near her brain though, so any help you can give to fund research that could eliminate this for people as badass as my mom would be amazing (I understand financial hardship, so if you cannot donate, would you mind passing along the word?)

Only one week of summer school left.

Two weeks until the exam.

I feel ready.

I feel optimistic.

I feel better than I have in months.

The Scamp Gets By

Posted on July 10, 2014 by erranteditor

With a little help from her friends.

22 days until the exam.

Summer school is starting not to suck too much.

Studying is not feeling that painful

When this is all over, I look forward to writing something that doesn’t have anything to do with budgets, organizational theory, philosophy, or how miserable and stressed I am.

Crow Pose – Orange, California

Posted on July 2, 2014 by erranteditor

I’m famous! Check out Toemail’s blog. It is a fun way to look at the world, one toe at a time.

The Scamp’s Escape

Posted on July 1, 2014 by erranteditor

Today I found the perfect car.

So I bought it.

Estelle is a 2005 Ford Escape.

She was priced below the money that I got for the Civic, so I was feeling pretty good about my chances of finding a car. I took her for a test drive, and I was hooked. She drives well, had very low mileage, and had a really clean bill of health. My dad told me before he left for vacation to just wait for him to come home before I did anything, but I saw Estelle, and I knew that she would be just what I need for the next couple of years. I called my parental units to let them know what was going on, and ask my dad what I should ask for in terms of pricing. He gave me a number, and wished me luck.

I went in to the negotiation knowing that if it didn’t feel right, then I could easily walk away and keep looking. I set the price that my dad gave me, and the salesman brought out another sales dude to try and work me over. I was prepared for that, so I stuck to my guns, and told him I was holding firm on my price. He came back with a number that was slightly higher, and I countered with a number in the middle, told him to fill the gas tank and pay the tags and we’d have a deal. He looked me in the eye, told me I was tough, and then shook my hand. The original salesman told me I was strong and he liked it.

I smiled like I do that all the time, but to be honest, I was doing the happy dance in my head. I have been really worried for the last two weeks that I was not going to be able to afford a car, or the ones that I could afford would not be something I wanted to drive. I also wanted to prove to myself that I could do this without anyone’s help, and that I was adult enough to buy a car that was completely mine….of course, I think it helped that the people at the dealership were really really nice, and have a good reputation for fair prices and good cars.

Today was the first time in over a year I felt like me. I knew what I wanted, I didn’t take crap from anyone, and I didn’t let myself get taken advantage of. I was snarky, wasn’t stressed, and I left feeling really good about my choice when I left the dealership. She may not be as good on the fuel as the Civic, but my commute is about to get smaller, and I think I can do without any new shoes for awhile. I feel good about the purchase, have a little money left, and actually feel like an adult.

So now, while I am stuck in the current cycle of work, school, homework, repeat, I have my little white Escape to get me through.

Summer school still sucks, but there is less than month left.

Studying for the qualifying exam sucks, but the director of the other program gave me some good study tips, and I know that I will get things done.