friendship | The Scamp Abroad

The Scamp in Malta

Posted on August 26, 2016 by erranteditor

I’ve been trying to get to the island of Malta for five years. I first got it in my head that I wanted to be there when I was in San Diego and having a hard time getting into PhD programmes. There was a Fullbright opportunity to live there for a year and teach English at the university. I had the application filled out, but the two references that I needed stopped me from finishing the application. From then on, I wanted the chance to visit, and had it in my mind that I would love to be there. Every time I thought about travelling, it was Malta that I wanted to go to.

The last few months here have been a challenge. I haven’t been happy, and I’m self aware enough to know that I should be doing some more to help get myself happy. I’ve been moaning on for the last two months that I need some time away, and at the beginning of the month I had finally had enough and booked a five day trip to the island. For those who are geographically challenged like myself, Malta is made up of three islands in the south of Europe. It is situated between Sicily and Northern Africa. It has about 450,000 people, and has three things I love: water, sunshine, and sunshine that can be enjoyed in the water.

Being that Malta is so close to Italy, I made the assumption that the people there spoke English and Maltese, and that Maltese was similar to Italian. I learned while I was there that the Maltese language is based on Arabic, and actually has a lot of similarity to Hebrew. Once I learned that I tried to pay closer attention to people when they were speaking, but because there were so many tourists, it was sometimes hard to pick out the different languages.

My plan for the holiday was to lay on a beach and get as much colour back into my skin as I could. I had originally planned to go by myself, and part of me really wanted to go with the boy, but one of the best mates really needed a holiday, and since we get on like gangbusters, it was the perfect chance for the two of us to get away. Most of the people we work with thought it was odd that the two of us were going on holiday without our partners, but to be honest, I wasn’t too fussed about it. We stayed in a hotel that overlooked the Mediterranean Sea and we soaked up the island.

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We spent the first day on the beach….and both got sunburned. It was glorious. I was happy. The hotel we stayed in was a bit sketch. It wasn’t clean to Kim standards, but it served its purpose. On the second day I wandered around Sliema while the bud worked on his book and happily sweat off a few pounds. In the afternoon we took the ferry to the capital city of Valletta and wandered around aimlessly for a bit.

Valletta is full of history, and full of amazing architecture. My only problem with the city was that everything closed at 7pm.

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We found some gardens, found a kitten that I wanted to keep, and managed not to get sunburned again. We had a picnic dinner of meats and cheeses and rum, and really enjoyed the day.

We spent most of the next day on the balcony of the hotel room. We moved the couch outside and I napped in the sun while he worked. Because I went without a plan of what to do every day, I was feeling a bit lost on what we should do to see the city. We decided to walk to the University of Malta and see the campus. While we wandered to a different part of the island, we passed a store with memory blocks. There was one that caught my eye.

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The guy at the store said that people buy them to remember certain events of their lives. This is a special edition, 7 Seas print. The artist signed it, and the quote that comes with it is about the journey you take through life. It was like it was made for me. I love an octopus, and a good journey through life. My bank account wasn’t too happy with the purchase, but I am.

Our last day was a guided tour of Gozo, one of the other islands. I love a good guided tour. We started with a mini train ride through the slat flats, and seriously, I would have stayed on that beach all day. It was stunning.

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It was the bud’s first time on a large boat, and I’m not sure he enjoyed it as much as I did. After the slat flats we went to Ġgantija (Maltese pronunciation: [dʒɡanˈtiːja], “Giants’ Tower”). It is a megalithic temple complex from the Neolithic on the Mediterranean island of Gozo. The Ġgantija temples are the earliest of the Megalithic Temples of Malta. The Ġgantija temples are older than the pyramids of Egypt. Their makers erected the two Ġgantija temples during the Neolithic (c. 3600–2500 BCE), which makes these temples more than 5500 years old and the world’s second oldest manmade religious structures after Göbekli Tepe.

The temples are structured like a person, with a head, two legs and two arms. You entered through the legs, and left through the legs. It was said that these short, but very strong men made the temples to honour the goddess of fertility.

So we walked through a vagina temple made by gorilla people.

From the temple we went to the worst lunch ever. We had a nice chat with an English couple on the tour though, so that was nice. After lunch we went to the Azure Window. The water here is so clear that it is almost like you aren’t really in it, and apparently it has been used in Game of Thrones. I would have loved to spend more than 15 minutes there, but it was a good 15 minutes.

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We ended the trip with a trip to Victoria, the capital of Gozo. We were able to see a woman hand weaving lace, and I bought a necklace. The bud and I ventured into the Citadella, a city within the city. It was pretty, but I got scolded in the church because my shoulders weren’t covered. Opps.

Overall, the trip was a massive success. I’d built up Malta to be this mythical place that I was going to be in love with, and while I wasn’t quite as in love with it as I hoped, I enjoyed the time I spent there. I have recharged a bit, got some tan lines, and spent 5 days not feeling depressed. It is also a chance to work on crossing one more thing off my list. I am not looking forward to going back to work, and back to the mountain of things that I have to get done for the next 30 days.

On the upside, in less than 30 days I will be making a quick trip to California to be a bridesmaid and to teach my nephew to say Aunty Kimmy. Those are going to be his first words, you best believe it.

The Scamp Crosses One Off the List

Posted on August 4, 2016 by erranteditor

When you walk through a storm,

Hold your head up high,

And don’t be afraid of the dark,

At the end of a storm, there’s a golden sky,

And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,

And you’ll never walk alone,
You’ll never walk alone
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,

And you’ll never walk alone,
You’ll never walk alone

Everyone knows that my first sporting love is the UFC. I live in the UK now, and while UFC is popular here, there is one sport that is a way of life: football (soccer for those of us from more civilized parts of the world). Pubs, clubs, flags and scarves, people here are known by which team they support. I never really watched football when I lived in California, and really didn’t watch it all that often when I moved here the first time. My best friend here is a massive Celtic FC fan, and always tries to get me into supporting his team. I joke that I could become a hooligan when my academic career falls through and I am too old to be a stripper….so far he isn’t buying it.

A little background on the team. Wikipedia has summed up Celtic history better than I could:

The Celtic Football Club (/ˈsɛltɪk/) is a professional football club based in Glasgow, Scotland, that plays in the Scottish Premiership. The club was founded in 1887^{[nb 1]} with the purpose of alleviating poverty in the immigrant Irish population in the East End of Glasgow. They played their first match in May 1888, a friendly match against Rangers which Celtic won 5–2. Celtic established itself within Scottish football, winning six successive league titles during the first decade of the 20th century. The club enjoyed their greatest successes during the 1960s and 70s underJock Stein when they won nine consecutive league titles and the European Cup.

Celtic have won the Scottish League Championship on 47 occasions, most recently in the 2015–16 season, the Scottish Cup 36 times and theScottish League Cup 15 times. The club’s greatest season was 1966–67, when Celtic became the first British team to win the European Cup, also winning the Scottish League Championship, the Scottish Cup, the Scottish League Cup, and the Glasgow Cup. Celtic also reached the1970 European Cup Final, and the 2003 UEFA Cup Final.

Celtic have a long-standing fierce rivalry with Rangers, and the clubs have become known as the Old Firm. The two clubs have dominated Scottish football, winning 101 league titles between them since the inception of the Scottish League in 1890.

The club’s fanbase was estimated in 2003 as being around nine million worldwide, and there are in excess of 160 Celtic supporters clubs in over 20 countries. An estimated 80,000 fans travelled to Seville for the 2003 UEFA Cup Final.

That is a massive set-up to say that one of the things on my list of things to do before I turned 30 was yell at a football match. The bestie’s love for Celtic, and a match against Astana provided the perfect opportunity for me to do just that. I treked up to Glasgow with the best friend and some of his friends, and thanks to a very tense match, got to yell at the players. I had an amazing time. The atmosphere was electric. The stadium was full of loyal fans chanting, cheering and yelling at the game. It was impossible to not get caught up in the feelings. Celtic won with a penalty shot at the very end of the match.

They also earned a new fan.

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Learn how to drive in the UK.
~~Present at an academic conference~~
Start a new tradition
~~Go back to therapy~~
Visit three new countries
Ride in a hot air balloon
~~Quit the tutoring centre~~
Volunteer for a literacy programme
~~Read a book that has more than 500 pages~~
~~Make my bed everyday for at least three months~~
Have a solid draft of my thesis completed
Master scorpion pose
~~Attend the symphony~~
Learn a rap song from start to finish
Host a dinner party
Create a budget so I can pay down my student loans
Create something original
Create a solid workout regime
Go on a long hike (6 miles or more)
Learn to dance
Eat an exotic meal
Learn to cook a fancy meal
~~Yell at a football match~~
Go horseback riding
Master British spelling and punctuation
Create a good sleep schedule
See my favorite group in concert
Fall in love
Stop holding grudges
Let go of my expectations

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 30

Posted on July 28, 2016 by erranteditor

I’ve hit a wall this week. The never ending edits to a 10 page paper are killing me, the statistical data I collected this academic year show an overwhelmingly neutral attitude towards assessment and feedback practices, and the only thing that I want to do is read a trashy romance novel while curled up in my bed.

This is not a new feeling for me. I have not felt all that productive for months. The less productive I feel, the more overwhelmed I feel, and the less work that I actually get done. The frustrating thing about all of this is that I know that I am stuck in this loop, know what I have to do to get out of it, and yet, I’m not actively working to try and stay out of it. One of the hardest things about my depression, and my crazy good self awareness, is that I can often see the mistakes I am making, and even understand why I am making them, but I can’t always stop them. Right now, because I am feeling a little bit stuck with my research, it is keeping me in a nice little depressive loop.

The challenge for this week is to write about what I love about this season of my life. I thought that this would be a hard one to write, but really, it is pretty darn easy. I’m currently sitting in the waiting room of my 30s (thanks Kelsey for that one), and I have to say, despite my ongoing battle with depression, this season of my life is pretty darn great. Once I started thinking about all of the things that I love about my life right now, the list got pretty dang long.

I’m sitting on my couch, in a flat that is perfect for me, in Edinburgh. Two years ago I was sitting in the office at my mom’s house studying for the qualifying exam for the EdD programme. I was stressed, but knew that I would pass that hurtle and be that much closer to finishing my degree. This time last year I was filling out customs forms and trying to ship off three boxes of my stuff to meet me here. Yesterday, the sun made a rare appearance and I sat in my window box and soaked up the heat. I wore my bathing suit in hopes that the really white parts of me would get some much needed colour. I’m one year down on my PhD, and although lately the process has led to more tears than smiles, I am really proud that I have made it this far

I’ve finally figured out how to maintain friendships. I always joke that I am a shitty friend but an excellent pen pal. I spent a lot of time in California by myself, but wasn’t exactly a social butterfly. Most of the time I couldn’t be bothered to go out or do the things that many of the people I had been friends with for a long time wanted to do. Here, I am surrounded by people who also think tacos, beer and movie nights are a good thing. People who will go to the symphony with me, laugh at my puppy videos, and keep me away from chocolate. The few friends I still have in the US have sent me care packages, Skype with me regularly, and text me all the time. I love that technology is so easy to use now that I can text and send pictures as often as I want, and see their faces just about whenever I want. They never make me feel bad about the time difference, and they are always willing to fit me into the schedule.

I’ve stopped apologising for my personality. I used to get really defensive about wanting to live in Scotland, my love for traveling and cat videos, the fact that I love flamingos and ultra bright yoga pants. I like to crack jokes when making presentations, I think sarcasm and passive aggressive comments fix everything, and I have shoes for every occasion. I love bad reality TV. I’m a little bit weird. People seem to like that. Even the boy humours me on occasion with the puppies, the yoga pants, laughing at my own jokes. It took awhile, but I am finally comfortable with who I am.

I’m a more honest person. I’ve been working on this blog for 6 years. In that time I’ve discussed my struggles with money, the horrible relationships I’ve been in, my lupus, and more recently, my ongoing battle with depression. 6 years ago I wouldn’t have admitted to the world that I was struggling. I wouldn’t have been open about what I was going through. I would have bucked up and pretended everything was okay. I would have worked hard to maintain friendships and relationships with toxic people, and I would never do anything that would show any form of weakness. Now I cry a lot, ask for help, and let people in a little bit so they can help. I’m really trying to make progress with therapy and I’ve set ridiculous goals for myself to try and stay out of the dark and twisty.

All in all, I feel pretty darn lucky to be in this stage of my life. It’s not perfect, and right now it isn’t as much sunshine and roses as I would like, but it is pretty darn good. Speaking of crossing things off my list of things to do before I turn 30, I was able to cross another one off the list. I just about completed a book that is more than 500 pages. I’m at page 900 of a 1200 page Stephen King book about the assassination of President Kennedy. I’ll eventually finish it, even if I find it really strange, but for now, I am going to say it meets the requirement.

Learn how to drive in the UK.
~~Present at an academic conference~~
Start a new tradition
~~Go back to therapy~~
Visit three new countries
Ride in a hot air balloon
~~Quit the tutoring centre~~
Volunteer for a literacy programme
~~Read a book that has more than 500 pages~~
~~Make my bed everyday for at least three months~~
Have a solid draft of my thesis completed
Master scorpion pose
~~Attend the symphony~~
Learn a rap song from start to finish
Host a dinner party
Create a budget so I can pay down my student loans
Create something original
Create a solid workout regime
Go on a long hike (6 miles or more)
Learn to dance
Eat an exotic meal
Learn to cook a fancy meal
Yell at a football match
Go horseback riding
Master British spelling and punctuation
Create a good sleep schedule
See my favorite group in concert
Fall in love
Stop holding grudges
Let go of my expectations

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 29

Posted on July 22, 2016 by erranteditor

Scottish summer came and went this week. It was a good Tuesday. I wore a sundress and flip flops. I sat in the park by my house until 8pm. My nose got sunburned and my legs look a little less white.

Not a bad summer.

The challenge this week is to write about the last person I said I love you to. I say I love you a lot to a lot of people in my life….okay, to be fair, the only people in my life in any real meaningful way are people that I love.

I think the last person though was my BFF. Because of his super secret spy job I am not allowed to post pictures of him on the internet, but we met here in Scotland and have been besties ever since we went to Belfast a few years ago. He supported me through two bad break-ups, exile from the US, and has offered to marry me so I can become a Scottish citizen if they are successful in gaining their independence from the UK. He worries a lot about my depression, so he drags me out of the house and takes me on adventures around Scotland so I don’t sit around and mope.

Last weekend we took the train to Linlithgow and spent the day walking around the birth place of Mary Queen of Scots and soaking in some culture. We pretended that we were hip and watched golf, and laughed our way through the ridiculousness of my love for puppies and my efforts to touch a swan (or a duck, or goose, and any dog that came close to me).

We’ve made plans for other excursions around Scotland, and even though he is ditching me for Leeds Leeds Leeds and a PhD, we’ve made plans to meet and explore England as well. I’m not exactly sure why he puts up with me, but I love him all the same.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 25

Posted on June 26, 2016 by erranteditor

It is raining. It is cold. It is the end of June. I’m not happy. This weather is making me sad. On the upside, my last shift at the tutoring centre is tomorrow. I’m terrified. The money situation had gotten better, and I would be able to pay my loan payment and for therapy. Now, who knows. My mommy told me she will help me pay my bills, but I cannot ask for that amount of money every month. Hopefully something else will come along….or I will win the lottery.

But, me crying about money is not the point of the writing challenge. This week the challenge is dedicated to three rules that I live by. I’ve been thinking about this one all week. I know what my little moral compass says, but I am not always sure I can label it as a rule. I’ll do my best to try and put some things down though that cover the way I live.

Rule 1: Don’t be a shitlord

Although it is really difficult for me sometimes, I try to be compassionate to those around me. I’ve been working really hard over the last two years to be nicer to people and really try to be clam when dealing with situations that are stressful. This one is really hard, and this rule is a work in progress, but so far I have noticed that when I am nicer to people, they are nicer to me. I also have way less headaches. It has made my recent dark and twisty more bearable as well. My friends and family have been amazing at checking in, sending me care packages, and skyping with me. My friends here have let me cry to them, met me for dinner and drinks, and have offered to celebrate my last shift at the tutoring centre. I am a lucky lucky girl, and I think that part of it is because I am trying my hardest not to be a shitlord….and I am I willing to say I am sorry when I fuck up.

Valuable lesson: When in doubt, do yoga. Yoga helps keep you from being a shitlord.

Rule 2: Be a Flamingo in a flock of pigeons

I like cat videos. I love flamingos and trashy romance novels. I have a lot of tattoos and I love a liberal use of the word fuck. I am overly sarcastic and cynical. I moved 5,000 miles away from my family because the only place I have ever felt at home happens to be in Edinburgh, Scotland. I’m not really a fan of night clubs and public drunkenness. I think mustard should be its own food group, and I believe hot chocolate is a cure for just about anything. I love books. I love education. I love being a student. I have Lupus. I suffer from depression and crippling self doubt. I got kicked out of a programme for being a racist….some days I think I might be racist. People think I am weird and dorky, and you know what, I probably am.

But that’s okay. It took me ten years and a lot of therapy to be okay with who I am. I used to spend a lot of time wanting to please people and worrying about what people thought about me. I drove myself crazy for almost two years when I moved back to California trying to be happy there and feeling defensive about my gypsy soul. Since I have embraced my flamingo ways I have been to some amazing places and met some amazing people. The thing is, the weird is what leads to some of these friendships, and to some very interesting conversations. Learning to be happy with myself was hard, really hard, but I think by the time I turn 30 I will be a really good flamingo.

Rule 3: Always ask for help

This one speaks for itself. It doesn’t make you weak, or cause people to think less of you. In fact, most people will respect you more if you ask for help.

This week is going to be a doozy. I have the end of the tutoring centre, my transfer of title meeting to become an official PhD student, a conference in Manchester where I am presenting a paper, and a meeting with the other folks in Scotland who are using the same methodology.

I want a hug, and a puppy. or a puppy that gives hugs.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 23

Posted on June 12, 2016 by erranteditor

The challenge for this week is to wax poetic about my best quality.

Nothing comes to mind.

I guess I am really good at putting everyone’s needs above my own. I bend over backwards for others, do everything to make sure they are happy and have their needs met, even if it means that I have to be inconvenienced.

I’m good at being negative.

I am grouchy. I’ve been grouchy for the last few days. I have a lot of work to do. I have done nothing today. My flat is clean. That is about it.

I’ve been alone too long today. I’ve been wasting all the progress in therapy by letting autopilot take over and let all the negative thoughts come through.

I want someone to come give me a hug and some chocolate and sit with me until I feel better. I want my kitty.

So now, because I am being negative, I have been given an assignment with three basic questions that need to be answered.

What are the last three nice things I’ve done for someone, why I did them, and how did they contribute to their lives?

1. Yesterday one of the kids in the tutoring centre was having an epic meltdown. He is autistic, no more than 7 years old, and I’m not sure why, but yesterday was not his day. He started throwing things, knocking over chairs and trashcans, and kicking up a really good fuss. I’ve never seen the centre so when the AD was just getting frustrated trying to calm him down, I tried to see if I could get him calm. I got him to sit down, and for about 3 minutes he was okay. I got kicked a few times and then scolded by the AD for not helping the children who I was supposed to be tutoring, but for those three minutes, the poor little kid was calm in the middle of his storm. I’m not sure that did anything to contribute to his life, but he seemed like he needed someone to talk to him calmly, someone to acknowledge that he was having a bad day and just needed some understanding.

2. A week, maybe two weeks ago, I made some Powerpoints for my friend/colleague. I did because I knew that he had a lot on his plate and he needed the help. I figured it was easy for me to do, wouldn’t take me that long, and I was majorly procrastinating on my own work. The workshop went off without a hitch, so I am assuming that I made his life a little bit easier. It also means that the next time he runs the workshop he will already have the materials ready to go.

3. I cancelled plans with the boy so that he could relax before his set of shifts. I was looking forward to dinner and a movie, but he mentioned he was tired and feeling cranky, so I asked if I could stop by for a cup of tea and some chat instead. I did it because I knew he had a rough set of shifts ahead, because he would be cranky if we went out, and because I am a codependent doormat who wants to please everyone happy even if it means putting my needs second. I know that it was easier for him because he told me it was, and I really enjoyed the tea and the chat that we had.

2. What are three nice things that people have done for me lately? Why did they do them and how do they contribute to my life?

1. My mom sent me a care package full of goodies that I miss from California. I got tortillas and peanut butter snacks and trial mix. She also included a card that told me she was proud of me and that she loved me. I know she did it because I have been having a rough go with my depression. It made me feel great, and now I have tortillas to make quesadillas with when I am sad. It is the little acknowledgement that she cares about me that is the nice part.

2. I got a Skype call yesterday after work. This is one of my best friends. She called me because she was feeling a bit blue, but she let me rant, be cranky, and never once told me that I was being silly or irrational. I got to listen to her, and by the end of the conversation both of us were feeling better. It was nice because it was acknowledgment that someone cared about me to check in, and someone thought of me when they wanted some comfort.

3. My friend/colleague/partner in hijinks let me invade is flat this week so that I could make margaritas and quesadillas to work on a paper. He also got approval for me to work with him on a project that finally allows me to do something in the office other than be the token PhD student. Maybe I might eventually get paid for doing the work. For now though, I am grateful for the chance to work on a fun project and do something useful.

3. What is something that I care about that I regularly contribute to.

Ummmmmmm…….this one is a tough one. I think this blog is the one thing that I contribute to regularly. I make sure that at least once a week I sit down and write something. A lot of time the posts are meant to make me feel better. Last year I did the gratitude challenge to help with the dark and twisty, and a lot of the post for this challenge are also meant to remind me of the good things in my life. Usually by the time I finished writing I feel a lot better. Even when the posts are sad or mopey, usually I get a comment or a note from one of the readers saying something nice or sharing a similar experience. I enjoy that moment of connection with people I only know through writing.

Reflection: What is the strongest conclusion that I can objectively come to based on the answers that I provided.

I guess what I could say is that my best quality is probably that no matter what, I seem to be a magnet for really great people. My friends and family are pretty great, even when I get into one of the dark and twisty moods and only see the negatives. These are the people that send me care packages and cat videos, pay my bills so I can quit my job, and remind me that despite the best efforts of my brain, I am not a broken toy.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 22

Posted on June 3, 2016 by erranteditor

Sunshine! There is actual sunshine. I’ve seen the sun every day this week. I wore shorts on Tuesday. I brought only a light jacket with me today. I might actually get to see summer. My legs might actually get a tan.

This has been a long week of avoiding work as much as possible. I’m in the middle of interview transcription, and I hate it. I hate listening to my own voice, and it will take me about 6 hours to transcribe a 1 hour interview (okay, a lot longer than 6 hours because I am slow, I get bored, and often can only work ten minutes at a time before I get frustrated). I am trying to keep things with the PhD progressing, and for the moment, things are a bit slow, but still moving. I’ve got a meeting set up for the end of the month to officially grant me PhD status, so now the draft of the paper I am writing needs to really be completed, and I have to write up everything that I have done for the last year, and hope that the committee feels that it has been enough to demonstrate that I am capable of completing two more years of study. In 17 days I will celebrate one year of living in Scotland, and in a little less than two months, I will have officially completed my first year of study.

I’m not sure where the time has gone.

The challenge for this week is to write about the place I currently call home.

If only I hadn’t sat down to write this with only 20 minutes before a meeting on what it is like to be an international student at Edinburgh Napier. I could write pages and pages and pages about Edinburgh, and what it means to live here. I’ve said it many times, both when I lived here three years ago, when I went back to California for a bit, and now that I am here: Edinburgh is the first place I have ever felt at home. For someone who spend a lot of time with words, I’m not really sure there are words that really cover how much I love it here. Moving here has been the most selfish thing I have ever done, and it is a choice that I would make over and over again. This city saved my life.

I think one of my favourite things about living here is the people that I get to meet. This is such an international city. I’m constantly surrounded by accents….and not just Scottish ones. It seems like this city is a magnet for people from all over the world. Everyone sounds different, and I love meeting people who have been living here for many years and have started to develop a hybrid Scottish/home accent. I hope that I live here long enough for that to happen to me. Even in the last year I notice that I have picked up vocabulary and phrases that are only said here.

4 years ago I got off a plane with my mom for a four day adventure that would determine the rest of my life. I applied and said yes for a position at the University of Edinburgh (but waited until I got to Scotland to tell my mom that I accepted), and scheduled a campus tour. I knew when I stepped off the plane that I was going to move here and love it. We went to the zoo, navigated the bus system, and realized that it would be very easy (and very safe for me to live here on my own. I spent the next four months preparing for the move (and starting this blog). Once I was here I made friends, learned how to walk everywhere and anywhere, and explored every inch of this city.

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PRC and I had a lot of good times here, and I wrote the best piece of academic work I have produced to date from the education that I got here. Anyone who has been a long time reader knows that returning to California was the hardest thing I have ever done, and that my transition back to American living did not go well at all. A lot of times the only thing that kept me going was the thought that I was getting the EdD with the soul intention of coming back here to live and work.

This time around I’m living in a great flat near the water, I’m dating a nice guy (although cultural communication brings its own fun challenges) and have made some lovely new friends to go along with the ones I have loved so dearly for the last four years. Many of the people that stay in contact with regularly are the ones that I have met here and have moved to other parts of the world.

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This is my front yard as it were. I catch the bus from here, and it drops me off at night right in front of my building. While there are some days that I miss driving, I can walk or take the bus to everything that I need or want. I’m already planning some trips that will take me around Europe, and even on my worst days here, it is still happening in Scotland. I’m hoping that in 6 years when my student visa runs out I will be able to get a work visa, or at least apply to become a permanent resident. I’m not leaving unless the government forces me to.

The Scamp’s Last Day of Her 28th Year

Posted on March 7, 2016 by erranteditor

Tomorrow (Well, today in Scotland and Australia) I turn 29. The last year of my 20s. The year before I become a real adult. The year I finally get my shit together.

This time last year I had just found out that I had been awarded the position in Scotland, I was getting ready to jump out of an airplane, and I was finally starting to see some hope for my future. Let’s face it, 27 was a really shitty year. The upside of hitting rock bottom though is that you have nowhere to go but up.

28 was a pretty darn good year. I jumped out of a plane, I moved back home to Scotland, started my PhD, reconnected with some of my best friends, made some pretty incredible new friends, and spent more of the year than not really loving life. I got to visit Spain and Portugal, went to England, and got to return to Ireland. I laughed more than I cried, cooked my first Thanksgiving dinner, and finally moved into my own place after two years of living with my parents. I learned the delicate art of negotiating bus timetables, worked on improving my Spanish, and pushed forward as an academic.

Today I started the day with waffles and puppy love by the beach. I got to snark with truly one of the greatest women I know, and the walk along the beach was just long enough for my face to get sunburned. I then spent the rest of the day with my nephew. He’s perfect. I cannot gush enough about this little guy. He let me feed him without a fuss, he slept solidly for a few hours and let his parents get some sleep, and he went for a walk in the sunshine without much of a complaint. I left them before the next feeding and enjoyed a big piece of chocolate birthday cake (I am an adult after all).

I’m looking forward to all of the things that 29 has to offer. I’ve decided that I would like to do 30 new things before I turn 30. I want to make sure that I stay out of the dark and twisty as much as possible. I want to make great strides with my PhD. I want to be a better friend, and a better girlfriend. I want to see some more of the world. Luckily I have 365 days to make these things happen.

The Scamp in Scotland

Posted on June 24, 2015 by erranteditor

…..kinda. I’m currently in Birmingham, England at a conference on assessment in higher education. I was supposed to attend the conference with my supervisor, but he hurt his back, and decided it was best if he stayed home. I’ve never been to Birmingham, but luckily the train station, hotel, and conference center are all less than ten minutes from each other. I’ve already decided which lectures I am attending, but now I have to network on my own, and eat dinner solo. I’m not good at those sorts of things. I am horribly antisocial, and I have a lot of work to do to make up for the things that I did not do whilst in Spain (I also have a lot of writing to do about my trip, but that will have to wait). It is also strange to be one of the youngest people here, and one of the few from the States. Already today someone told me that I have a fantastic accent, which is not something that I get to hear very often.

My first day back in Scotland was not a pleasant one until dinner time. I spent the whole day on campus meeting with my supervisors face-to-face, and trying to sort out what my schedule will look like for the next three years. I was unprepared for the fact that they see the research I am doing for the school, and my PhD as two separate projects, with two separate papers to be completed. I’ll be running data for 16 programs, complete with questionnaires, focus groups, and interviews, and from that, I will have to find a little bit of data to use for my PhD. On top of that, I am working on two projects with other professors in regards to gender and assessment, and social justice, equality, and assessment feedback. Each one of these would produce enough results for four separate dissertations, and I am slowly seeing my free time slipping away. On the upside, I have my own desk, a work phone, and really fantastic people supporting me. One of my supervisors took me to lunch and told me that she was the one I could call when I needed to vent, scream, or cry to, while the enthusiasm of the man in charge of me is completely contagious. I left the meeting with them excited, scared, and ready to get to work.

I wish I could say that they were a representation of the school. The rest of the day went downhill from there. The school refuses to reinstate the number I need for my visa, and after a trek to a campus 30 minutes walk from where I am based, I was informed that I am here illegally, and that they will not allow me to apply for the visa from the UK. This was said rather loudly, and in full range of all the other people working in the office, and it was all I could do not to cry in the office. I was so turned around when I left that I almost ended up on the wrong bus, and I walked into the wrong bank to try and make a deposit into my Scottish account (Note to self, The Royal Bank of Scotland and the Bank of Scotland are not the same). I had to use some fancy talk to get a new phone since I do not have a permanent address in Scotland yet, and I generally felt like I had been run ragged before I made it to dinner with one of my best friends.

Thank God for wine and good banter. Seeing Lozza after almost two years was fantastic. Meeting her fella was just as great as he is a wonderful guy, and she looks so stinkin’ happy with him. I was in fine form with the poor boy, but he was a great sport about it. I look forward to when I can cook them a proper Mexican feast, and more crazy catch-up sessions. It is nice to know that there is a friendly face in the crowd for bad days.

I now have a meeting with the international office to see about sorting me out with a visa, but I am not above crying and then going to the American consulate to get what I want. I know that things will work out, but I am just hoping that it is sooner rather than later, and that I don’t have to threaten bodily harm to make it happen.

The Scamp and Her First Friend

Posted on June 2, 2015 by erranteditor

In the next round of goodbyes, I was able to do a little day drinking with the very first friend I ever made. We met in kindergarten, and went all the way through high school together. Over the years we have had more of a casual contact with each other (thanks adulthood), but when David cheated on me, she was one of the first people to email my mom for my address, and she sent me all kinds of goodies and a really really great card. When I came back, she invited me out with her friends a few times, and although we hadn’t seen each other in a year, she made it a point to see me before I left again. We spent a good three and half hours catching up, and we didn’t have to try and force conversation about people we used to know. We still have quite a bit in common (she liked skydiving too!), and it was a really nice way to spend my last Monday in California. She again reminded me that I spend way too much time worrying about the people that aren’t there for me, and not enough time appreciating the people that are.

I forgot how much I enjoyed hanging out with her until we got together, and then I kicked myself for not being better at getting drinks or dinner, ore staying in contact more.

You can bet I will be better about it now. She’s one of the good ones, and we have 23 years of friendship and counting. I’ve already told her to come visit, and promised to flood her husband with pictures of Scotland so he will see the magic.

And, because I know she is a reader of this, and she will laugh at this as much as I did, here is a throwback circa the 90s when we were Girl Scouts….enjoy