gratitude challenge

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 26 Part 2

Posted on by erranteditor

This time I am actually going to cover the focus of the writing challenge for last week: My family. I spent the day writing, so pictures and a few words will have to do the trick.

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This is the only full family photo we have. It isn’t even all of us as the oldest of the step brothers is not in the photo. This is the last time we were all together in one place. It was the last time that we could be all together in one place. I was 20.

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This is the most current family photo. I left for Scotland not long after this, and Kelly was weeks away from finding out about muffin.

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We have a lot of fun together. We are pretty much the only ones who think we are funny (And really, it is just me and my mom that think we are funny)

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This is my favorite picture of us. It has now been coined the “typical Wilder kids” photo, but it really does speak to our personalities. 156326_1786513862898_6319278_n225433_10150164218316887_2747822_n270678_536612843455_6557935_n295388_10150850791826887_1607862510_n

This is one of the best family photos of us. We were in Ireland for the first family vacation in ten years. Kelly and Mondo had just celebrated their first anniversary and I was getting ready to move to Scotland for the first time. We drove everyone in the tour group nuts on that trip.386455_10150360625751887_2066315557_n557297_10151118103296887_60246554_n

I’m sad that I am no longer part of Christmas day photos. We usually make my mother mad by not smiling, not looking at the camera, and generally bitching about the fact that she wants a decent group photo. Now they just hold one of my graduation photos in the picture like I am there with them.10003362_10151843283321887_2054048463_n10386905_10204516103322856_496174025055853131_ovcm_s_kf_representative_360x480 (3)

Now we have the muffin in the mix as well. He is my favorite little dude. I don’t see him nearly enough, but I am still hoping his first words are “Aunty Kimbo”

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My family constantly reminds me to stay out of the dark and twisty, to make sure that I have a travel buddy, and that no matter what I do, I will always have someone in my corner fighting for me.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 25

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It is raining. It is cold. It is the end of June. I’m not happy. This weather is making me sad. On the upside, my last shift at the tutoring centre is tomorrow. I’m terrified. The money situation had gotten better, and I would be able to pay my loan payment and for therapy. Now, who knows. My mommy told me she will help me pay my bills, but I cannot ask for that amount of money every month. Hopefully something else will come along….or I will win the lottery.

But, me crying about money is not the point of the writing challenge. This week the challenge is dedicated to three rules that I live by. I’ve been thinking about this one all week. I know what my little moral compass says, but I am not always sure I can label it as a rule. I’ll do my best to try and put some things down though that cover the way I live.

Rule 1: Don’t be a shitlord

Although it is really difficult for me sometimes, I try to be compassionate to those around me. I’ve been working really hard over the last two years to be nicer to people and really try to be clam when dealing with situations that are stressful. This one is really hard, and this rule is a work in progress, but so far I have noticed that when I am nicer to people, they are nicer to me. I also have way less headaches. It has made my recent dark and twisty more bearable as well. My friends and family have been amazing at checking in, sending me care packages, and skyping with me. My friends here have let me cry to them, met me for dinner and drinks, and have offered to celebrate my last shift at the tutoring centre. I am a lucky lucky girl, and I think that part of it is because I am trying my hardest not to be a shitlord….and I am I willing to say I am sorry when I fuck up.

Valuable lesson: When in doubt, do yoga. Yoga helps keep you from being a shitlord.

Rule 2: Be a Flamingo in a flock of pigeons

I like cat videos. I love flamingos and trashy romance novels. I have a lot of tattoos and I love a liberal use of the word fuck. I am overly sarcastic and cynical. I moved 5,000 miles away from my family because the only place I have ever felt at home happens to be in Edinburgh, Scotland. I’m not really a fan of night clubs and public drunkenness. I think mustard should be its own food group, and I believe hot chocolate is a cure for just about anything. I love books. I love education. I love being a student. I have Lupus. I suffer from depression and crippling self doubt. I got kicked out of a programme for being a racist….some days I think I might be racist. People think I am weird and dorky, and you know what, I probably am.

But that’s okay. It took me ten years and a lot of therapy to be okay with who I am. I used to spend a lot of time wanting to please people and worrying about what people thought about me. I drove myself crazy for almost two years when I moved back to California trying to be happy there and feeling defensive about my gypsy soul. Since I have embraced my flamingo ways I have been to some amazing places and met some amazing people. The thing is, the weird is what leads to some of these friendships, and to some very interesting conversations. Learning to be happy with myself was hard, really hard, but I think by the time I turn 30 I will be a really good flamingo.

Rule 3: Always ask for help

This one speaks for itself. It doesn’t make you weak, or cause people to think less of you. In fact, most people will respect you more if you ask for help.

This week is going to be a doozy. I have the end of the tutoring centre, my transfer of title meeting to become an official PhD student, a conference in Manchester where I am presenting a paper, and a meeting with the other folks in Scotland who are using the same methodology.

I want a hug, and a puppy. or a puppy that gives hugs.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 23

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The challenge for this week is to wax poetic about my best quality.

Nothing comes to mind.

I guess I am really good at putting everyone’s needs above my own. I bend over backwards for others, do everything to make sure they are happy and have their needs met, even if it means that I have to be inconvenienced.

I’m good at being negative.

I am grouchy. I’ve been grouchy for the last few days. I have a lot of work to do. I have done nothing today. My flat is clean. That is about it.

I’ve been alone too long today. I’ve been wasting all the progress in therapy by letting autopilot take over and let all the negative thoughts come through.

I want someone to come give me a hug and some chocolate and sit with me until I feel better. I want my kitty.

So now, because I am being negative, I have been given an assignment with three basic questions that need to be answered.

  1. What are the last three nice things I’ve done for someone, why I did them, and how did they contribute to their lives?

              1. Yesterday one of the kids in the tutoring centre was having an epic meltdown. He                  is autistic, no more than 7 years old, and I’m not sure why, but yesterday was not                   his day. He started throwing things, knocking over chairs and trashcans, and                           kicking up a really good fuss. I’ve never seen the centre so when the AD was just                     getting frustrated trying to calm him down, I tried to see if I could get him calm. I                   got him to sit down, and for about 3 minutes he was okay. I got kicked a few times                  and then scolded by the AD for not helping the children who I was supposed to be                  tutoring, but for those three minutes, the poor little kid was calm in the middle of                  his storm.  I’m not sure that did anything to contribute to his life, but he seemed                   like he needed someone to talk to him calmly, someone to acknowledge that he                       was having a bad day and just needed some understanding.

          2. A week, maybe two weeks ago, I made some Powerpoints for my friend/colleague. I             did because I knew that he had a lot on his plate and he needed the help. I figured it               was easy for me to do, wouldn’t take me that long, and I was majorly procrastinating            on my own work. The workshop went off without a hitch, so I am assuming that I                    made his life a little bit easier. It also means that the next time he runs the workshop            he will already have the materials ready to go.

        3. I cancelled plans with the boy so that he could relax before his set of shifts. I was                  looking forward to dinner and a movie, but he mentioned he was tired and feeling                  cranky, so I asked if I could stop by for a cup of tea and some chat instead. I did it                   because I knew he had a rough set of shifts ahead, because he would be cranky if we               went out, and because I am a codependent doormat who wants to please everyone                  happy even if it means putting my needs second. I know that it was easier for him                  because he told me it was, and I really enjoyed the tea and the chat that we had.

2. What are three nice things that people have done for me lately? Why did they do them and how do they contribute to my life?

         1. My mom sent me a care package full of goodies that I miss from California. I got tortillas and peanut butter snacks and trial mix. She also included a card that told me she was proud of me and that she loved me. I know she did it because I have been having a rough go with my depression. It made me feel great, and now I have tortillas to make quesadillas with when I am sad. It is the little acknowledgement that she cares about me that is the nice part.

2. I got a Skype call yesterday after work. This is one of my best friends. She called me because she was feeling a bit blue, but she let me rant, be cranky, and never once told me that I was being silly or irrational. I got to listen to her, and by the end of the conversation both of us were feeling better. It was nice because it was acknowledgment that someone cared about me to check in, and someone thought of me when they wanted some comfort.

3. My friend/colleague/partner in hijinks let me invade is flat this week so that I could make margaritas and quesadillas to work on a paper. He also got approval for me to work with him on a project that finally allows me to do something in the office other than be the token PhD student. Maybe I might eventually get paid for doing the work. For now though, I am grateful for the chance to work on a fun project and do something useful.

3. What is something that I care about that I regularly contribute to.

      Ummmmmmm…….this one is a tough one. I think this blog is the one thing that I contribute to regularly. I make sure that at least once a week I sit down and write something. A lot of time the posts are meant to make me feel better. Last year I did the gratitude challenge to help with the dark and twisty, and a lot of the post for this challenge are also meant to remind me of the good things in my life. Usually by the time I finished writing I feel a lot better. Even when the posts are sad or mopey, usually I get a comment or a note from one of the readers saying something nice or sharing a similar experience. I enjoy that moment of connection with people I only know through writing.

Reflection: What is the strongest conclusion that I can objectively come to based on the answers that I provided.

I guess what I could say is that my best quality is probably that no matter what, I seem to be a magnet for really great people. My friends and family are pretty great, even when I get into one of the dark and twisty moods and only see the negatives. These are the people that send me care packages and cat videos, pay my bills so I can quit my job, and remind me that despite the best efforts of my brain, I am not a broken toy.

 

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 22

Posted on by erranteditor

Sunshine! There is actual sunshine. I’ve seen the sun every day this week. I wore shorts on Tuesday. I brought only a light jacket with me today. I might actually get to see summer. My legs might actually get a tan.

This has been a long week of avoiding work as much as possible. I’m in the middle of interview transcription, and I hate it. I hate listening to my own voice, and it will take me about 6 hours to transcribe a 1 hour interview (okay, a lot longer than 6 hours because I am slow, I get bored, and often can only work ten minutes at a time before I get frustrated).  I am trying to keep things with the PhD progressing, and for the moment, things are a bit slow, but still moving. I’ve got a meeting set up for the end of the month to officially grant me PhD status, so now the draft of the paper I am writing needs to really be completed, and I have to write up everything that I have done for the last year, and hope that the committee feels that it has been enough to demonstrate that I am capable of completing two more years of study. In 17 days I will celebrate one year of living in Scotland, and in a little less than two months, I will have officially completed my first year of study.

I’m not sure where the time has gone.

The challenge for this week is to write about the place I currently call home.

If only I hadn’t sat down to write this with only 20 minutes before a meeting on what it is like to be an international student at Edinburgh Napier. I could write pages and pages and pages about Edinburgh, and what it means to live here. I’ve said it many times, both when I lived here three years ago, when I went back to California for a bit, and now that I am here: Edinburgh is the first place I have ever felt at home. For someone who spend a lot of time with words, I’m not really sure there are words that really cover how much I love it here. Moving here has been the most selfish thing I have ever done, and it is a choice that I would make over and over again. This city saved my life.

I think one of my favourite things about living here is the people that I get to meet. This is such an international city. I’m constantly surrounded by accents….and not just Scottish ones. It seems like this city is a magnet for people from all over the world. Everyone sounds different, and I love meeting people who have been living here for many years and have started to develop a hybrid Scottish/home accent. I hope that I live here long enough for that to happen to me. Even in the last year I notice that I have picked up vocabulary and phrases that are only said here.

4 years ago I got off a plane with my mom for a four day adventure that would determine the rest of my life. I applied and said yes for a position at the University of Edinburgh (but waited until I got to Scotland to tell my mom that I accepted), and scheduled a campus tour. I knew when I stepped off the plane that I was going to move here and love it. We went to the zoo, navigated the bus system, and realized that it would be very easy (and very safe for me to live here on my own. I spent the next four months preparing for the move (and starting this blog). Once I was here I made friends, learned how to walk everywhere and anywhere, and explored every inch of this city.

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PRC and I had a lot of good times here, and I wrote the best piece of academic work I have produced to date from the education that I got here. Anyone who has been a long time reader knows that returning to California was the hardest thing I have ever done, and that my transition back to American living did not go well at all. A lot of times the only thing that kept me going was the thought that I was getting the EdD with the soul intention of coming back here to live and work.

This time around I’m living in a great flat near the water, I’m dating a nice guy (although cultural communication brings its own fun challenges) and have made some lovely new friends to go along with the ones I have loved so dearly for the last four years. Many of the people that stay in contact with regularly are the ones that I have met here and have moved to other parts of the world.

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This is my front yard as it were. I catch the bus from here, and it drops me off at night right in front of my building. While there are some days that I miss driving, I can walk or take the bus to everything that I need or want. I’m already planning some trips that will take me around Europe, and even on my worst days here, it is still happening in Scotland. I’m hoping that in 6 years when my student visa runs out I will be able to get a work visa, or at least apply to become a permanent resident. I’m not leaving unless the government forces me to.

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 52

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There are only two days left in 2015 and I have come to the end of the gratitude challenge. Week 52 is dedicated to reflection on the last year.

Did the challenge change me?

I’d really like to say yes. I’d like to say that I am now a more open and grateful person, and that the dark and twisty days are few and far between. The thing is though, I don’t feel any different. I feel like the same old me I was this time last year. I’m still in the grips of depression, still get moments of the dark and twisty, and more often than not, I would not focus on the good in my life until I sat down to write my weekly post as part of the challenge.

While the challenge made not have changed me, it certainly did save me. This time last year I was scheduling meetings with academic departments and people way above my paygrade to hear my fate in the EdD programme. I knew that I was going to get the boot, and I knew that my dream of earning a doctorate in the United States was over. I was feeling lower than low and had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my life.

I was broken. My mother would pretend to need help with errands and chores to make sure that I got out of bed, and she would text me several times throughout the day to make sure I was still alive (to be fair, even in my deepest dark and twisty, I never reached that point). I went nowhere and saw no one. I celebrated the new year with the wombmate and her friends, but I felt out of place and awkward.

Taking some time each week to remind myself that there was still good in my world, that there were at least 52 things to be grateful for (and in this case, I was able to make a list of 100) was a great break from the dark and twisty. It was fairly easy to think about what memory, person, place, or thing fit the criteria for the challenge, and for an hour or so a week, I was solely focused on the positive. I know that I started more than one post of the challenge by saying that I needed the post to help get me out of my funk.

2015 was not my year. Not my year at all. Yes, there was some really great things that came from it, I am currently in my own flat, in Scotland. I am relatively healthy, I have a job that I like and a job that provides a little extra cash, and people around me that love and care about me, but on the whole, 2015 was a shit year.

I’m happy to be rid of it. It is too early to say what 2016 will be like, but I am guessing that it will be a whole lot more exciting.

 

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 50

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I’m a week behind….as usual. The reason I’m only going to play catch-up for this post is that Week 51 is 100 things I am grateful for, and right now, I am having a hard time focusing on one thing.

So, week 50. I’m almost done with the challenge. This is the week that is dedicated to lessons that I have learned in the last year.

What haven’t I learned in the last year? This time last year I was in a meeting at Cal State Fullerton being told that the reason I was not successful in the programme was because I had a bad attitude, and I was forced to come to the realization that incorrectly cited parts of my paper were going to be the straw that broke the camel’s back on what was a horrible two years. I was beyond depressed, I was lonely, I had no money, and I was seriously at a loss for where my life was headed.

Today I woke up in Scotland. While the last couple of weeks have been rough in terms of my depression and anxiety, I am the happiest I have been in years. I’m working on my PhD, I’ve made some new friends and reconnected with some old ones, and have settled into a very very good life. I’m even dating (I promise I did not make him up). Life is not even close to perfect, but it is getting there.

So, what have  I learned this year?

I learned the power of family. My family never once wavered with their support when I was battling the programme, and then when I applied for the job here and decided that I was never going back to the United States. My sister in snark offered me advice and puppy love, and my favoruite Russian gave up her time to be my lawyer and try to minimize the damage done to me personally and professionally. My mom and brother got on a plane to come spend a week with me, and my sister sends me care packages and drops everything on the weekends to Skype with me and tell me that the world is not going to end for me anytime soon.

I learned that even on my lowest days, I have a lot to be grateful for. I started this challenge because things were starting to get bad in the programme and I wanted to try and keep myself from falling into the dark and twisty that was my usual MO. Every week I got to remind myself of something that I liked, someone that inspired me, or somewhere that I have had been lucky enough to visit. Even if it was little things like my favourite type of music, or my favourite type of food, it reminded me of things that I enjoy, and allowed me some distance from the things that I didn’t.

I learned the power of being myself. I’m a flamingo in a flock of pigeons, and every day I am a little more proud of that. I’m a nerd. I like books, I like cat videos, puppies, chocolate, and watching horror movies. I overthink everything, I’m awkward, and I am a true gypsy soul. I believe that store brand American peanut butter tastes better than almost anything else, and a quesadilla will solve all of my problems. I like to shop when I am sad. I am sarcastic, sometimes even when I don’t mean to be. I don’t understand dating. Some people get me, most people don’t….and that is okay (okay, I say okay, but what I really mean is, I want everyone to like me)

I learned that my slow cooking skills need a lot of work. Life goal for the new year: Learn how to use the slow cooker properly.

I learned that all the medication in the world is not going to make me feel as good as fresh air and yoga does. I have not done yoga properly in a month, and I can really feel it. I’m lacking some motivation, but I am hoping that someone can kick my butt into getting it done and staying on a schedule. The weather might be too cold for me to enjoy the fresh air, but my new yoga mat has barely been used, and that is a shame. I need to fix that. Like right now. In fact, I am going to put this on hold and do some yoga.

I learned that I can survive just about anything. Anyone who reads through the last year of posts will know how much I have done, and how there were only a few times that I really wanted to give up. Eventually though all roads led to Edinburgh, and I am a happy happy girl. Now I just have to survive until February when I can go home and get some sunshine and some more of my shoes.

The shoes. They are important. My goal now is to make my list of 100 things I am grateful for before Saturday so that I actually complete the challenge for the week in which it is intended.

 

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 46

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The weather is turning cold here in lovely lovely Edinburgh. It is currently 10C (50 F) and rainy. The sun is setting earlier, and the leaves are disappearing. It is the type of weather that makes me want to curl up under blankets, drink hot chocolate, and watch Disney movies. I’m not smart enough to figure out if the heating in my place actually works, and for the moment it makes focusing on my work a bit hard. I spent all last week pouting about the way my job is going, and unfortunately that has put me behind in my work for the PhD. I have a friend who made a schedule, worked diligently every day was able to stay on a strict timeline. I have the best intention to do that, and somehow I never quite make it. I have things to do, but all I can think about is the fact that I am not really making progress in my work beside reading literature. I have a conceptual paper that needs to be written, but I feel like what I have written so far is not good enough to meet the standards of the PhD. I have academic writing PTSD and I am not sure how to get past it. I’ve been trying to just write for ten minutes a day, but even most of that is just complete and utter pish. I need a drill instructor to yell at me whenever I stop working, or fail to open a word doc.

Something that has been helping me is technology, which happens to be the focus of the gratitude challenge this week. Thanks to technology, I am able to Skype with my friends and family in the States, and just those little bits of time with them make me laugh and feel better on an off day. Technology is allowing me to stay current with the wombmate’s pregnancy, and will allow me to be present at the birth if I cannot make it back to the States in time. I can send photos, emails, and see people face-to-face thanks to technology. It is one of the reasons that my move here was pretty easy. Instead of having to wait a week to send a letter through the post, or make a phone call once a month because it is expensive to call international, I can get an almost immediate response to text, email, or picture message. This week I went to the National Museum of Scotland and wandered through the exhibit on Victorian photographs. It was really interesting to see the way that photography was done in that era, and how it has changed over time.

While the technological advancement was interesting and the photographs on display were amazing, it was fun to get dressed up and go to the museum after hours to see the exhibit, and then stay for a Victorian themed party. The people watching was incredible, the music was interesting, and the drinks were tasty. It was a fantastic date with an even more fantastic man, and one of those fun, non-touristy things to do in Edinburgh.

Perhaps the best thing about technology to me right now is the fact that in less than a week my mom and brother will be getting on a plane to come see me. They will be here for American Thanksgiving, and it has been almost five months since we have been in the same timezone, and I cannot wait to see them. It is my brother’s first time in Scotland, and I cannot wait to show him all of my favorite places.

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 44 and 45

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Today I did something that I very rarely do: I called in sick to work and refused to leave my bed…well, sorta. I made a trip to the post office to get some packages, but that took about ten minutes. Then it was back to bed with my laptop, water, and candy corn. I’m tired. It might be a precursor to getting sick, it might be the start of a down cycle, or it might just be that I have been juggling way too much this week and after a little mindfullness, I decided to take the day off. I’m feeling so good about that choice that I might just take tomorrow off as well.

The day off has given me a chance to catch up on the gratitude challenge. You would think by week 45 I would have gotten better at completing them on the week that they are meant to correspond with, but in true Kim form, I am always a step or two behind.

Week 44 is my favorite holiday. This one is easy, and quickly approaching. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I don’t like it in the “let’s celebrate the fact that British settlers left their home, went to the new world and then killed all the Indians,” but more in the “I get to hang out with my family” kind of way. Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. I love eating turkey and mashed potatoes, eating way too much dessert, watching football, and hanging out with the family unit. Thanksgiving at the Wilder-Davis house of Chaos includes liberal use of the word “fuck,” inappropriate dinnertime conversations, and singing off key to songs while doing the dishes. It is also my favorite holiday because for the last two years I have used the break at Thanksgiving to get away from the U.S. The first year it was to return here to Scotland to attend graduation, and last year it was to visit Estonia, Latvia, and Finland. Thanksgiving gave me something to look forward to while I was at CSUF. It offered me a light at the end of a really shitty tunnel. This year my mom and brother will be here for Thanksgiving. My brother has never been here, so I am excited to show him around and for him to experience my home. 2 weeks from now I will be reunited with a little bit of family.

I can’t wait.

This week is dedicated to what I do for fun.

What is fun again?

There are a lot things that I do for fun. I like to hang out with my friends, listen to music, read romance novels, and spend time outside. I like to travel, and I like to have silly Skype dates with my family. I like gossiping, and shit talking with my sister, and taking ridiculous photos of PRC in touristy places. Lately I have been having a lot of fun spending time with a boy watching David Attenborough’s The Life of Mammals. Overall, since I moved back to Scotland I have been having a lot more fun with the everyday little things. It is hard to believe that the challenge, and the year will be over in just seven short weeks. There are a lot of interesting things happening in the next few weeks, and this is the first time that I will not be home for Christmas, so I am both excited and nervous for the things to come.

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 42

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I have almost survived another week.

Almost.

This week has been rough for me. I’ve been feeling a bit down, and have no real reason for it. I spent most of the day on my couch staring at articles and wishing that I could feel some motivation to do something productive. The one time I ventured out of my flat today I got caught in the rain without my umbrella (Of course, I have been carrying that thing around for a week and it hasn’t rained once) and I took that as a sign that today was just not meant for working.

Tomorrow is another day.

Since I was feeling lousy, I decided that it might be a good time to look at the challenge for this week. This week is an easy one: my favorite possession. I’m not huge on material things, but there is one thing that I value above all of my other things (including my flamingo shoes, my pirate rubber chicken, and all of my yoga pants): my passport.

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That’s right. My favorite possession is my passport. That tiny little book is one of the greatest things that I have ever been given. It not only allows me to live in Scotland, but it supports my wanderlust, and has allowed me access to some of the most incredible places in the world. It is the one thing that I am sure to bring with me on my travels, and it is the one thing that reminds me that I can be a gypsy soul when the mood strikes me. I’ve been looking at it a lot the last couple of days, dreaming about the next place I could go (It is a thing that I do when I am sad…I plan fantasy trips). I am grateful that I have it, and grateful for all of the opportunities that I get from it. I realize that not everyone is as lucky to have a passport, or even to be able to go just about anywhere with it, and I plan to make really good use of it for as long as I can.

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 40 and 41

Posted on by erranteditor

I’ve had a really bad cold for the last two weeks and it has made me extremely lazy (and the U.K.’s largest producer of snot). I have fallen behind with PhD work, with writing, and with anything remotely related to not being a zombie. One of the joys of working with little kids three days a week is that they are mini perti dishes of new and wonderful germs.

My body does not like germs.

So while I am playing catch-up this week, all the writing that I actually want to be doing has fallen by the wayside. The gratitude challenge for last week was focused on my greatest accomplishment. This one is really hard for me. I’m not sure I have a specific moment that would qualify as my greatest accomplishment. The one thing that I can think of is surviving my first encounter with a PhD program and not letting it completely destroy me. A mere two months after that all fell apart I had an interview for my current position. While there were a lot of tears, a lot of hiding in bed, and a lot of therapy, I did not completely sink into the dark and twisty, and was able to find a program that I am better suited to, and I got to return to Scotland. Now, I am two months into my new life here and I feel like I never left. Even though my days are not always sunshine and rainbows (Because really, the sun doesn’t shine here), I am happier than I have been in a really really long time. I’ve been reunited with some of my favorite people, made some pretty kick ass new friends, and am well on my way to settling into a great life here.

The gratitude challenge for this week is hobbies. I have a lot of hobbies that I enjoy, but there are a couple that I am extra grateful for. I often get mocked for my love of yoga pants and brightly colored yoga mats, but this is one hobby that I am seriously grateful for. I took up yoga about 15 years ago to help stay flexible for swimming, but it has become something that I really enjoy doing when I am stressed, having a bad day, or when I want to show off for cute boys. I have been lucky enough to meet some great people who do yoga, and even got to help one of my friends as she went through certification to become a yoga teacher. It is a hobby that has a lot of benefits for my health, and keeps me from punching stupid people on a regular basis. I’ve been majorly slacking on my practice lately, but I am going to make a conscious effort to do at least 20 minutes a day. Scorpion pose is in my future.

The other hobby that I am grateful for is my love of reading. That hobby has not only allowed me access to some wonderful books, but has kept me gainfully employed since I was 14 years old. I’ve worked in every type of library you can imagine, and have been a student of words since I was 18. Most recently my love of reading helped me get a job at a learning center. The extra cash is nice, and the kids are a fun break from higher education. I love it when they tease me about the way I say tomato, or when they get excited about being assigned to my zone. The kids have even started drawing me pictures to put on my desk at work. My favorite is the purple dinosaur with a blue tail and face.

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The best part of the job so far is a little man named Angus. I’m not 100% sure what Angus has, but I am guessing undiagnosed ADD, and some emotional issues. Angus and I met last week, and it was a struggle to get him to do anything. When he came into the center yesterday, he asked to be put in my section, gave me a big hug, and I got him to sit through one and a half of his tasks (no small feat, trust me). He even made me a picture before he left for the day. I know that it really isn’t a big deal, and I am not going to solve his attention issues, but it is nice to think that he is not hating the hour that he spends in the center. He hates reading, so I am going to try and find some really funny books that he can read so that maybe he will hate it a little less. If I can share that hobby with him, maybe, just maybe, I can get him to sit through a whole session.

Life goals.