For the last 12 weeks some of the kids at the tutoring center have been participating in a Wednesday night creative writing class. This session was devoted to learning about plays. The kids learned about different types of plays and what components are unique to drama, tragedy, and comedy. I came into the session during week 8 to fill in for another tutor, and I got to work with the comedy kids.

I loved it. I know that I hate working at the tutoring center, but working with the kids and listening to their crazy ideas was fantastic. I helped them write dialogue and stage directions, but for the most part, the entire play was their doing. Tonight we performed them for the parents, and I am crushed that I cannot have a copy of the video of all four of the plays because I honestly haven’t laughed that hard in a long long time. I did sneak a copy of my script home so that I could share the magic with the rest of the world.

Enjoy.

The 3002 Beijing Olympics

Scene 1:

(the athletes are all warming up and stretching in a room. Flace Sun, a cat, is not there yet. A banner that reads “3002 Beijing Olympics” hangs above them. The narrator walks on stage

Narrator: Welcome to the 3002 Beijing Olympics! Competing today in swimming we have Flace Sun and Sabdy Doom. In the 50cm dash we have PeterBread Sandwich, Rhythmic Gymnastics we have Adriana, and the twins Holly and Molly will compete in the three-legged race!

(Flace Sun enters)

SD: ( A nervous rabbit with a habit of running into walls. He angrily pointing at FS) YOU FLACE SUN, YOU WILL NEVER WIN!

FS: (scared, crawling away) Not him again!

PBS: (A hamster, he is wearing slippers that are four sizes too big. As he is stretching, one of his slippers flies off and hits Adriana)

A: (A gymnast who suffers from Narcolepsy. She is sleeping near a chair. She wakes up when the shoe hits her and starts yelling at the chair) HOW DARE YOU?! You can never compete with me! (Starts to stretch)

PBS: (looking relieved) Looks like I got away with that!

A: (Finds slipper) Wait a second….(looks around)

PBS: (nervously laughs) Hey, I have a slipper that looks like that!

Scene 2

Narrator: Our first even today is swimming! Competing we have the favourites to win, in Lane 1: Flace Sun, in Lane 2: Sabdy Doom. These two are fierce rivals who have competed many times before…

FS: (pushes SD and he falls, bumping into the other competitors who fall down) Hehehehehe!

SD: (Getting up) You think you are going to win? I am WAY faster than you! I’ve been practicing my diving into my rabbit hole at home!

FS: (Crossing her arms) Uhhhh…. We’ll see about that. (Licks paws to get ready).

Narrator: On your marks! (FS and SD stand on blue boxes) Get set! (Competitors put arms up in diving position) Go!

(Other competitors mime swimming and take the lead)

FS: (Jumps in water) MIAOW!! I forgot cats like me HATE water! (Starts cleaning herself all over to get off the water)

SD: (Looks back at FS) YES! I’m beating Flace! (Bumps into wall) OW! (Rubs head) I feel dizzy…. (Starts swaying around)

Medic: (Leadingn SD away by the arm) Come on Sabdy Doom, let’s get you sat down.

Narrator: In a drastic turn of events, hot favourites Flace Sun and Sabdy Doom are out of the running!

Scene 3

(Runners lined up at the starting line)

Narrator: (Loud and excited voice) Our three runners are ready for the 50cm race and our hope is that one of them breaks the world record of 20 hours and 51 seconds today. (Runners start elbowing each other for a better position)

Narrator: Runners, on your mark….get set…go! And they’re off! Steven takes an early lead, followed closely by Amy. It looks like Peter Bread Sandwich is having a hard time running in his slippers (PBS trips over a slipper as it falls off. He goes back to try and put it on) Look at that! Amy just overtook Steven! Now Steven has caught up with Amy! (concerned) Peter Bread Sandwich is still 15 cm behind. It looks like he has lost his chance to win this race! (PBS huffs and sits down in the middle of the track)

Scene 4

Narrator: Welcome everybody to the three-legged race! Can I have all contestants to the starting line please?

Molly: (Looking around nervously) I lost my twin! How am I going to race?

Contestant: Tie her legs together!

(Everybody laughs)

Narrator: That’s a great idea! (ties Molly’s legs together) Racers, on your mark…get set….go!

(Contestants all start running for the finish line. Molly instantly falls on her face)

Molly: I’m stuck! (She gets to her feet, but falls again after one step)

Narrator: It looks like one leg is not as good as three! Molly is not going to be able to finish the race!

Scene 5

Narrator: Our final event for the evening is Rhythmic Gymnastics! Up next in this event is Adriana. (Shouts Adriana’s name 5 times, getting louder and more annoyed each time)

A: (wakes up and runs on stage. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star starts playing. Adriana starts humming along and twirling in circles. She hits her leg) Ouch!

(As she grabs her leg, she falls asleep on stage. When it is clear that she is not going to wake up, she is dragged off the stage)

Narrator: (Awkwardly) Well, that was Adriana.

Audience: (Awkwardly clapping) BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOO! That was horrible! I paid money for that?! I want a refund!

A: (running back to the stage) That was uncalled for! How dare you boo me? (Stomps her foot and scrunches her face)

Narrator: Oh well….that was certainly interesting to say the least.

Final Scene

Narrator: Thank you everyone for coming today! That concludes the 3002 Beijing Olympics. Congratulations to all of the winners!

(All of the characters pack up their bags. They are all quite mad and upset)

Adriana: This is the worst day ever!

Molly: That’s not fair!

(Everyone agrees)

Adriana: Hey guys, I think since we were so rude to each other today we got what we deserved.

Flace: MIAOW! Why don’t we all go out and get some pizza together?

All: (Shout) That’s a great idea!

(All walk out together-Molly gets some help from the others because her legs are still tied together)