Author: erranteditor

The Scamp Blows a Fuse

Posted on by erranteditor

The universe was certainly not throwing me any bones this week. I had to spend one day this week learning how to be a salesmonkey for the tutoring centre, and got sent home from the same centre after the care inspector came to accredit the centre and it was discovered that I still had some pending paperwork, and I spent the better part of Friday at the doctor’s office having half my blood drained from my body, and having to expose myself to a nurse so the UK can be sure I don’t have cervical cancer.

Usually I have a two dinner minimum before someone can get that up close and personal with my cervix…..just saying.

In my rush to get the doc appointment sorted, get to the tutoring centre on time, and generally not be a cranky pants, I blew a fuse in my flat. I was lucky enough to only blow the ones that control the overhead lights. My power, heating, and cooking appliances all still worked.

The bad news is that I only have overhead lights.

Have you ever tried to pee in pitch black? It is scary.

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A little mood lighting on a Friday night.

The problem with my flat is that it does not have a circuit breaker box. It should have been as simple as flipping a switch, I could flip a switch. I’m embarrassed to admit that I had to text my landlord to actually find out where the circuit box was. I have been starring at it for months without actually knowing what it is….because it was outdated in the 1960s.

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Luckily the circuits were labeled, so I knew what needed to be fixed. I wasn’t super comfortable with fixing it on my own though. I text my landlord, and she basically told me I was on my own and to have fun fixing it.

I did what any self respecting girl does when she is tired, ill, and doesn’t know what to do with electrical problems: I called my mom and cried. Luckily she was nice enough to let me cry, and reminded me of some things to do to make sure I didn’t blow up the flat.

I then used my research skills to find a hardware store near mines, and set off this morning on a trip to find a new fuse. The first place I went did not have what I needed. The guy who runs the store laughed when he saw the fuse because no one uses them anymore. He suggested that I might need a man to help me out, and then pointed me in the direction of a vacuum repair shop that he thought might have what I needed.

I love that vacuum repair shop. When I walked in I was greeted by a woman in her late 50s. She laughed when I told her I was a fish out of water and not really sure what to do. She was super nice and explained that I needed to replace the fuse wire, and how to do that before sending me on my way. She told me she had faith that I would be fine.

I made it home with a mission. I checked Youtube for a video just in case I forgot anything, and then I got to work.

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I was surprised that once I had the fuse wire I actually had all of the supplies that I needed to restring the fuse.

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I was able to get the wire into the fuse and trimmed and wrapped appropriately.

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Viola! A fixed fuse!

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And then there was light!

Considering I cried when I was told I had to do it myself, I was all about the victory dance when I got the lights back on. In the end, it wasn’t a hard thing to do at all, but it was the fact that I was able to do it on my own without screwing anything up really made me happy. I was expecting it to take more than an hour to fix. While I was at work my landlord dropped off some fuses, and while it was too late, I appreciate the gesture.

I also have a new found appreciation for lamps. I am going to invest some lamps.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 4

Posted on by erranteditor

Rain. Three days of rain. Today I made the rookie mistake of forgetting my umbrella, and by the time I got to work, I was a wet soggy mess.

I came to the office for a meeting, but the guy I have the meeting with did not show up to work today….and I still have to go to the tutoring center…the place that is slowly stealing my soul.

So, because the day started out a bit pish, I decided that a look into the next week of the challenge was not a bad idea. This week is dedicated to the last thing that I celebrated.

Last week I celebrated the new beginning for one of my friends from the university. She is off to New Zealand in a week to start a PhD. While I am really sad that she is leaving (for purely selfish reasons), I cannot wait for her to get settled into her life there. She has packed up all of her stuff here and shipped her entire life overseas. I know that she is nervous, but I also know that she will rock it when she is there.

We celebrated the best way we know how: Mexican food. We went to a little place tucked down an alley, and although I was initially skeptical, the food was amazing.

photo: https://www.facebook.com/elcartelmexicana/
photo: https://www.facebook.com/elcartelmexicana/

Along with the good food was an amazing hip hop playlist, and excellent company. I am going to miss dinners with the four of us from the office, and all the laughing and ridiculousness that comes with our nights out, but I think it will be fun to try and recreate these night via Skype. I’m not always a great friend, but I am an excellent pen pal. Luckily technology will keep us from feeling the distance too much.

I cannot wait to hear all about her research, see all of the pictures from a place that I would love to visit, and eventually inviting myself over for a bit of a holiday!

The Scamp and a Play

Posted on by erranteditor

For the last 12 weeks some of the kids at the tutoring center have been participating in a Wednesday night creative writing class. This session was devoted to learning about plays. The kids learned about different types of plays and what components are unique to drama, tragedy, and comedy. I came into the session during week 8 to fill in for another tutor, and I got to work with the comedy kids.

I loved it. I know that I hate working at the tutoring center, but working with the kids and listening to their crazy ideas was fantastic. I helped them write dialogue and stage directions, but for the most part, the entire play was their doing. Tonight we performed them for the parents, and I am crushed that I cannot have a copy of the video of all four of the plays because I honestly haven’t laughed that hard in a long long time. I did sneak a copy of my script home so that I could share the magic with the rest of the world.

Enjoy.

The 3002 Beijing Olympics

Scene 1:

(the athletes are all warming up and stretching in a room. Flace Sun, a cat, is not there yet. A banner that reads “3002 Beijing Olympics” hangs above them. The narrator walks on stage

Narrator: Welcome to the 3002 Beijing Olympics! Competing today in swimming we have Flace Sun and Sabdy Doom. In the 50cm dash we have PeterBread Sandwich, Rhythmic Gymnastics we have Adriana, and the twins Holly and Molly will compete in the three-legged race!

(Flace Sun enters)

SD: ( A nervous rabbit with a habit of running into walls. He angrily pointing at FS) YOU FLACE SUN, YOU WILL NEVER WIN!

FS: (scared, crawling away) Not him again!

PBS: (A hamster, he is wearing slippers that are four sizes too big. As he is stretching, one of his slippers flies off and hits Adriana)

A: (A gymnast who suffers from Narcolepsy. She is sleeping near a chair. She wakes up when the shoe hits her and starts yelling at the chair) HOW DARE YOU?! You can never compete with me! (Starts to stretch)

PBS: (looking relieved) Looks like I got away with that!

A: (Finds slipper) Wait a second….(looks around)

PBS: (nervously laughs) Hey, I have a slipper that looks like that!

Scene 2

Narrator: Our first even today is swimming! Competing we have the favourites to win, in Lane 1: Flace Sun, in Lane 2: Sabdy Doom. These two are fierce rivals who have competed many times before…

FS: (pushes SD and he falls, bumping into the other competitors who fall down) Hehehehehe!

SD: (Getting up) You think you are going to win? I am WAY faster than you! I’ve been practicing my diving into my rabbit hole at home!

FS: (Crossing her arms) Uhhhh…. We’ll see about that. (Licks paws to get ready).

Narrator: On your marks! (FS and SD stand on blue boxes) Get set! (Competitors put arms up in diving position) Go!

(Other competitors mime swimming and take the lead)

FS: (Jumps in water) MIAOW!! I forgot cats like me HATE water! (Starts cleaning herself all over to get off the water)

SD: (Looks back at FS) YES! I’m beating Flace! (Bumps into wall) OW! (Rubs head) I feel dizzy…. (Starts swaying around)

Medic: (Leadingn SD away by the arm) Come on Sabdy Doom, let’s get you sat down.

Narrator: In a drastic turn of events, hot favourites Flace Sun and Sabdy Doom are out of the running!

Scene 3

(Runners lined up at the starting line)

Narrator: (Loud and excited voice) Our three runners are ready for the 50cm race and our hope is that one of them breaks the world record of 20 hours and 51 seconds today. (Runners start elbowing each other for a better position)

Narrator: Runners, on your mark….get set…go! And they’re off! Steven takes an early lead, followed closely by Amy. It looks like Peter Bread Sandwich is having a hard time running in his slippers (PBS trips over a slipper as it falls off. He goes back to try and put it on) Look at that! Amy just overtook Steven! Now Steven has caught up with Amy! (concerned) Peter Bread Sandwich is still 15 cm behind. It looks like he has lost his chance to win this race! (PBS huffs and sits down in the middle of the track)

Scene 4

Narrator: Welcome everybody to the three-legged race! Can I have all contestants to the starting line please?

Molly: (Looking around nervously) I lost my twin! How am I going to race?

Contestant: Tie her legs together!

(Everybody laughs)

Narrator: That’s a great idea! (ties Molly’s legs together) Racers, on your mark…get set….go!

(Contestants all start running for the finish line. Molly instantly falls on her face)

Molly: I’m stuck! (She gets to her feet, but falls again after one step)

Narrator: It looks like one leg is not as good as three! Molly is not going to be able to finish the race!

Scene 5

Narrator: Our final event for the evening is Rhythmic Gymnastics! Up next in this event is Adriana. (Shouts Adriana’s name 5 times, getting louder and more annoyed each time)

A: (wakes up and runs on stage. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star starts playing. Adriana starts humming along and twirling in circles. She hits her leg) Ouch!

(As she grabs her leg, she falls asleep on stage. When it is clear that she is not going to wake up, she is dragged off the stage)

Narrator: (Awkwardly) Well, that was Adriana.

Audience: (Awkwardly clapping) BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOO! That was horrible! I paid money for that?! I want a refund!

A: (running back to the stage) That was uncalled for! How dare you boo me? (Stomps her foot and scrunches her face)

Narrator: Oh well….that was certainly interesting to say the least.

Final Scene

Narrator: Thank you everyone for coming today! That concludes the 3002 Beijing Olympics. Congratulations to all of the winners!

(All of the characters pack up their bags. They are all quite mad and upset)

Adriana: This is the worst day ever!

Molly: That’s not fair!

(Everyone agrees)

Adriana: Hey guys, I think since we were so rude to each other today we got what we deserved.

Flace: MIAOW! Why don’t we all go out and get some pizza together?

All: (Shout) That’s a great idea!

(All walk out together-Molly gets some help from the others because her legs are still tied together)

 

 

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 3

Posted on by erranteditor

Week 3 and I have managed to get everything written on during the week it was meant to be written….there is hope for me yet. Week 3 is dedicated to the little things that make me happy.

Honestly, this list is endless. I really enjoy the little things.

I had a minor PhD setback last week, and it really threw me. I have been working really hard to try and get myself out of my dark and twisty, and thought I was making it work…kinda. I feel like the last two months have been consumed by my depression. I’ve been spiraling down into the dark and twisty, and because it is always a thing, I feel like it has dominated my life. It permeates everything  from my work, to my friendships and relationships, and even my sleep patterns. My work, while it has been getting done (Well, minus the two week break I took at Christmas) it has not been getting done very well.

Last week it all caught up to me. I applied for a research position on campus that would allow me to quit the tutoring center and pay off my loan faster. Because people in the office were so excited about it, I had gotten very excited by the idea of having the job. My supervisor pulled me into his office though and ripped the skin off my hide for not telling him that I had applied for the job, and for the fact that working part time would take away from my PhD and I would not become an expert in my field if I was not devoting 100% to my work. He questioned me about my financial situation, and I was forced to admit that I need the job to pay my loan payment. I do not like admitting that I am in debt.

I also hate the feeling of failure that I left that meeting with. I do not like to fail at anything….especially when I know that I have been putting in a lot of effort, and trying my damnedest to produce something that will make people proud. I’ve already been stressed about the work that I am doing, and already feeling down, so when I cried in the break room over a cup of tea last week, no one was surprised (okay, so my colleague who had to deliver the bad news that I wasn’t eligible for the job was surprised, but she was really really lovely about it).

I wanted to curl up in bed and just call it a day.

I wanted to sign up for sugardaddies.com and find some rich old man to pay my bills.

I wanted someone to give me a hug and tell me everything would be alright.

I wanted someone to make it alright.

So this is where the challenge comes in. The little things that make me happy.

Hot chocolate. Hot chocolate makes me happy. A little cup of hot chocolate makes me everything better. I had a small cup today while I had my PhD supervisory meeting, and even though I had to rehash the job situation again, I managed to do it without crying this time.

I like that my friends and family check up on me. I get texts and messages asking after me, or sending me funny pictures. I love that. It makes me feel appreciated, and it makes me laugh.

I like it when my favorite song comes on my ipod. In the same line, I love finding Spotify playlists  that have songs I loved when I was younger, or ones that relax me while I am trying to do yoga.

I love puppy and kitten videos. Seriously, that is the only reason that the internet was invented as far as I am concerned.

I like that I have moments when I forget to be sad. I’ll laugh at a joke, watch a dumb movie, or read a trashy romance novel and not get stuck in the dark and twisty.

I like dinners out with my friends. I may not want to share my tacos with you, but I want to share my bubble.

I like that when I do posts like this, I laugh a little, and remember that all in all, things in my life are pretty freaking fantastic.

That makes everything worth it.

The Scamp at 20 Years

Posted on by erranteditor

20 years is a long time to miss someone. I can’t remember what her voice sounds like, but when I smell Red Door I instantly see my grandma’s face. I was only 8 when she died, but I remember the night we got the phone call, I remember bits and pieces of the funeral, and I remember her best friend, who was in the car with her when it wrecked, told my mom the story of what happened.

Francis Ann. Grandma Fran. Auntie Fran. Franie. Mom. Sister. She was a lot of things to a lot of people, and because she refused to wear a seat belt, the world has had to be without her for the last 20 years.

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She battled drug addiction. She battled her weight. She battled a shopping and gambling addiction. She was a complicated woman, sometimes almost impossible to be around. I didn’t know any of that. I only knew her as my grammy. She had zebra print carpet, took us for hamburgers and milkshakes whenever we went to visit her and my grandpa in Palm Springs, and never let her hummingbird feeders run out of food. I can remember being in Louie the Lebaron with my brother, sister, and our two cousins Jodi and Sivan when we were really young. I don’t remember where we were going, but while we were in the car, she started a sentence and we all took turns adding to the story. I can’t remember what the story was about, but I remember laughing and the story getting more and more ridiculous the longer we went around.

This is always a hard time for my mom. She has had 20 years of health issues, awards, major projects, and amazing life moments that she did not get to share with her mom. I can’t go more than six hours without talking to my mom, so I have no idea how I would survive 20 years. I’ve struggled a lot in the last two years, and my mom has tried her best to shoulder the burden so I didn’t have to.

The one comfort that I had when I lived in California was a hummingbird that comes to hang out at my parent’s house. There is no real reason for the hummingbird to hang out, but it comes every day, sometimes right to the door. My last night in California, it hung out for over two hours and got close enough for me to touch. I like to think that that little bird has the soul of my grandma and hangs out with us to see what kind of shenanigans we get up to. There are no hummingbirds in Scotland, but if I ever see one, I will know why it is there.

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So, until I figure out what happens after you die, I like to think of her the way my aunt thinks of her:

I like to think of her winning at heavenly Mahj Jongg, Bridge, Canasta. She still is one of the smartest, funniest people I have ever known. Do they have Jeopardy in Heaven?

Those of you who see my mom, or know how to get a hold of her, be sure to send some love her way.

And go hug your mommys. Right now.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge:Week 2

Posted on by erranteditor

I’ve got the rainy day blues. I did not go into the university today, and now my writing is slow going. I think my mistake is that I am wearing trackies and my UC Merced sweatshirt rather than jeans and a t-shirt.

I need yoga. I need a nap. I need some inspiration.

The writing challenge for this week is to focus on making a list of what I am grateful for. I laughed because I just spent the last year doing this every week. I feel like I have done nothing but write about what I am grateful for. People are probably sick of it.

Right at this moment I am grateful that life goes on. This time last year I was a mess. I was headed to a disciplinary hearing over the plagiarism charge, and I saw my whole life falling apart. Today, even with the rainy day blues, I woke up next to my manpanion, had a lazy morning doing a crossword puzzle while he studied Scottish laws for work, and even though my writing is slow going, I have research, I’m collecting data, and I am working toward my PhD. In a little more than a month I am headed to California for the birth of my nephew and then on to Texas to watch one of my besties get married.

All in all, I’m really happy with where I have ended up. The dark and twisty is still looming in the background, but it is getting better.  I am still worried about making my loan payment, still negotiating my role in my job, and still trying to balance my need for adventure with my adult responsibilities, but with every day that passes, I think that I am doing a little bit better with each of those things.

Now if someone will send me so motivation to get my writing done, I will be a very very very happy girl.

The Scamp Starts a New Challenge

Posted on by erranteditor

In 2015 I did 52 weeks of gratitude to help ease my depression. I did not always meet the goal of one post a week, but I completed all 52 posts, and I think that there were weeks where the posts really did help me stay out of the dark and twisty.

I have decided that because on my own I am not always motivated to sit down and do some writing I will spend the year completing another challenge. Consider this week one.

This challenge is not necessarily focused on the things that I am grateful for, but it is just some prompts to get me writing in between my fun adventures as an expat….not that there have been that many adventures in the first four days of the new year.

Back to the point.

The first post of the new challenge is to write an introduction. If there is one thing that I am good at, it is talking about myself.

Here goes….

Let’s start with the basics: My name is Kimberly, but people only call me that when I am in trouble. Most people call me Kim. Those in my inner circle call me Bito or Kimbo, and I have recently acquired the nicknames Kimkwat and Bubble. I’m of average height on a good day, and next to my 6’5 manpanion, I am downright tiny. The biggest thing on my body is my mouth, but my eyes come in a close second because my eyesight is complete shite and my glasses are like magnifying glasses. I keep my hair long, and when I spend enough time in the sun, all of my freckles come out to play.

It has taken me ten years (and a lot of therapy), but I have finally come to accept my status as a gypsy soul. I have an unquenchable wanderlust, and while it usually takes the form of packing up my things and moving to a new city every four years, I think I have finally found a place to put some semi permanent roots in Scotland. This is probably the only place I have ever felt at home. Even on my worst days here, I see the lush countryside, get a view of the castle, or go for a walk around the canal by my flat and my little grinch heart grows a little. My favorite possession is my passport, and I cannot understand people who have no desire to travel and see the world.

I have Lupus. It really isn’t something to brag about, it isn’t even something I really like to talk about, but it is a tiny part of who I am. I take about 8 medications during the day to keep me going, but on the whole, I’d say I am making it work. I get into some real tired funks, and lord help me when I am stressed, but on the whole, I’d say Lupus hasn’t kept me from anything. In addition to the Lupus, I have depression. I get deep in the dark and twisty sometimes, and therapy, yoga, and antidepressants have been a lifesaver…literally. I hate it when people tell me that being depressed is a choice, or that I don’t seem like someone who would be depressed. I fully recognize that I have a pretty charmed life, and that there is a lot of good surrounding me, and trust me, if I didn’t have to feel this way, I wouldn’t it. Unfortunately it has an effect on my relationships, my work, and sometimes my ability to get out of bed. I’m working really hard to keep it at bay, and I am lucky that I have a support system that helps me when it gets bad.

I worry about everything. Overthinking is my national passtime, and I if stressing was exercise I’d be the thinnest person I know.

I enjoy writing. I have an MA in writing, worked as a college professor, and actually like spending time with my blog. If I thought I could make money as a writer, I would be an author and write everything and anything….except poetry. No one needs to read my poetry.

I want a puppy more than most women my age want a husband and kids. I suck at relationships. I get attached quickly, I have unrealistic expectations, and I can’t always communicate my feelings in a form other than sarcasm and sass. A dog doesn’t care about that. Dogs walk off leash here, and I love it when I have the chance to get slobbered on by one. I want one of my own to come home to and take walks with. That is better than a baby or a boyfriend any day (and I know that I am in a relationship thing at present, but I’m not feeling like I’m doing so well in that department, and I think I would be a killer dog trainer). I also want a penguin, kitty, baby goat, and an otter. Basically I want a zoo.

No matter how many times it bites me in the ass, I am a very reactionary person. I’m working on fixing that….it is a slow process.

I’m obsessed with yoga. I want to get my certification so I can be a teacher and teach yoga. It isn’t huge here, but there are people that do it, and I think I could make it a thing.

I’ve got big plans for my life. Everytime I think I have it figured out, something goes haywire and I find a new trail, but this time I think I finally know the direction I need to head in.All  I need now is a British guy to marry me and I could put my plans into motion.

 

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 52

Posted on by erranteditor

There are only two days left in 2015 and I have come to the end of the gratitude challenge. Week 52 is dedicated to reflection on the last year.

Did the challenge change me?

I’d really like to say yes. I’d like to say that I am now a more open and grateful person, and that the dark and twisty days are few and far between. The thing is though, I don’t feel any different. I feel like the same old me I was this time last year. I’m still in the grips of depression, still get moments of the dark and twisty, and more often than not, I would not focus on the good in my life until I sat down to write my weekly post as part of the challenge.

While the challenge made not have changed me, it certainly did save me. This time last year I was scheduling meetings with academic departments and people way above my paygrade to hear my fate in the EdD programme. I knew that I was going to get the boot, and I knew that my dream of earning a doctorate in the United States was over. I was feeling lower than low and had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my life.

I was broken. My mother would pretend to need help with errands and chores to make sure that I got out of bed, and she would text me several times throughout the day to make sure I was still alive (to be fair, even in my deepest dark and twisty, I never reached that point). I went nowhere and saw no one. I celebrated the new year with the wombmate and her friends, but I felt out of place and awkward.

Taking some time each week to remind myself that there was still good in my world, that there were at least 52 things to be grateful for (and in this case, I was able to make a list of 100) was a great break from the dark and twisty. It was fairly easy to think about what memory, person, place, or thing fit the criteria for the challenge, and for an hour or so a week, I was solely focused on the positive. I know that I started more than one post of the challenge by saying that I needed the post to help get me out of my funk.

2015 was not my year. Not my year at all. Yes, there was some really great things that came from it, I am currently in my own flat, in Scotland. I am relatively healthy, I have a job that I like and a job that provides a little extra cash, and people around me that love and care about me, but on the whole, 2015 was a shit year.

I’m happy to be rid of it. It is too early to say what 2016 will be like, but I am guessing that it will be a whole lot more exciting.

 

The Scamp’s 100 Things

Posted on by erranteditor

The challenge this week is to make a list of 100 things that I am thankful for. Since I have been in the dark and twisty pretty hard core this week, I am going to enjoy making this list and focusing on all of the amazing things in my life that make me grateful. I have been a pain in the ass. I’m anxious, mopey, and have spent too much time by myself to be a good person. I am gearing up for Christmas, and I hoping that some fresh air, time out of Scotland, and time away from all things academic will do me some good. The weather has been crazy warm here lately (55 degrees!) so I am hoping that it is that way in the Emerald Isle as well.

So, I have a glass of wine, I’m wrapped in a blanket, and I am going to try and create a list of 100 things that I am grateful for. Some will be silly, some will strange, and most will be exactly what people expect from me. I do not expect people to read all 100. In fact, this is mostly for me. There is only one challenge left after this one, and to be honest, it doesn’t seem like it has been 52 weeks since I started the challenge. Talk about time flying. I think I am going to find another challenge to work through to make the next year pass just as quickly. I liked that this challenge was focused on reminding me what I have to be grateful for, so I may look for something that is similar to keep the dark and twisty at bay.

 

  1. My family. This should come to no surprise to anyone. My family makes me laugh, stood by me when I was going through some serious shit with CSUF, and has never once made me feel guilty about packing up my life and moving 5,143 miles to start a life. They are by far my favourite people, and while it was extremely difficult to move so far from them, I am lucky enough that we text, Skype, and message each other enough that it doesn’t really feel like we are separated.

 

  1. My friends. Again, no one should be surprised by this. I have some pretty amazing friends. They have sent me presents, jokes, laughs, good vibes, and provided me a lot of comfort when I have been at my lowest. With the exception of lately, I have not been lonely here in Scotland. When I have though, I have people who have dropped everything to help me out, check on me, and distract me from how I am feeling. It is my Irish bestie who offered to take me home for Christmas to be with her family since I am not going back to California until the end of February. I think part of the reason my move back to Scotland was so smooth was because I had a good circle of people who were already here.

 

  1. Scotland saved my life. Literally. The first time I came here in 2012, I knew that I was going to live here. I have felt more at home here than any place I have ever lived. I cannot really explain what it is about this island that makes me feel so at home, but even on my worst day here, and even when the dark and twisty sneaks in, I can go for a walk to the city centre and see the castle, hear the mix of accents, and surround myself with history. When I went back to the US in 2013 I never found a way to readjust to life there. I spent two years feeling like I was a zombie just drifting through my existence. I was in a horrible programme, I did not have much of a social circle, and I barely had enough money to pay my bills. While I am not living like a queen here, I am pretty comfortable for the moment.

 

  1. Travel. If I do not get to travel then I get itchy. Really really itchy. I have been lucky enough to travel all over the world. My mom has funded some of it, I have saved and scrimped for some, and because I have the most amazing friends, I have been offered places to stay and tour guides around their cities. I am the happiest when I am traveling. I love the adventure, and I love the way I feel when I am wandering around a new place.

 

  1. Technology. Being able to stay in touch with everyone through texting, skyping and FB has been amazing. It is a large part of why this move has been so painless.

 

  1. Mark Huxham. He is my supervisor for the PhD. He took a chance on me, and made it possible for me to come back to Scotland. He might have saved my life.

 

  1. Modern medicine. I have Lupus. But, if I did not tell people, I doubt anyone would know. I get checked by doctors regularly, I take my meds, and stick to a good diet. I have been very very very lucky that I have not had any major issues so far.

 

  1. National Insurance. It may not be perfect, and I may get frustrated with it sometimes, but man am I grateful for it. Not paying for medication is a huge stress off my shoulders.

 

  1. Yoga. Enough said.

 

  1. Sunshine. I may be in the land of no sun, but man oh man do I love it when it comes out here. I will also love it when I am in California and Texas and get to enjoy it.

 

  1. Tea. Hug in a cup.

 

  1. American peanut butter.

 

  1. Trail mix. Even when I am not hungry, a handful of that makes me feel better.

 

  1. Solid public transportation. I rarely miss having a car. I also enjoy the view from the top of the double decker bus.

 

  1. Books. When I get sad, I curl up with a book and I can escape a bit.

 

  1. My kitties. I miss them all the time. I wish I could have them here with me.

 

  1. Cat videos. Kinda like the next best thing when I can’t have mine with me.

 

 

  1. Ice Cream. I haven’t had any in a while, but the beast bar (a chocolate bar dipped in chocolate ice cream, covered in chocolate) is the best pound I will ever spend.

 

  1. My Ipod. It makes my commute so much more bearable when I can listen to my favourite songs or a podcast.

 

  1. Loveline. Someone is going to read this and laugh, but man oh man do I love this show. I listen to the old shows with Adam Carolla, and the current day ones. People are crazy, and I always feel a little less crazy listening to the show.

 

  1. Therapy. This really should be higher on the list. The only reason I survived for two years in the States was because of weekly therapy sessions.

 

  1. Flower hair clips. I have a collection of flower hair clips that I wear when I am feeling homesick, or when I want to stand out a little.

 

  1. I love each and every tattoo that I have. There is a good story behind each one, and I feel like they make me a whole heck of a lot more interesting.

 

  1. Strawberries. Possibly the best fruit ever. I love that you can get them all year round here.

 

  1. Tortillas from California. Seriously. Heaven.

 

  1. Easy Mac. The ultimate comfort food.

 

  1. My space heater. It has been cold here, but I have to say, it hasn’t been horrible yet for me thanks to my little portable heater.

 

  1. Yogadownload.This is an amazing collection of yoga classes in all types of styles, lengths, and skill sets. I may be lagging on my practice, but I will never run out of options for classes to take.

 

  1. My camera. I bought it before I moved back to Scotland, and it was totally worth every penny.

 

  1. Pirate Rubber Chicken. It may have started as a joke, but I really love taking chicken places and sending him to my friends to do crazy things. Most people really get into it and have a good time being ridiculous with PRC.

 

  1. Naps. Sometimes it is the only way I get through a day.

 

  1. Inside jokes with the wombmate.

 

  1. Who am I kidding…..the word wombmate. It is so much better than just calling her my sister.

 

  1. Tugboat. The very first car I ever bought. I love that beast.

 

  1. Swimming. I miss being in the water, but I love the peace I get when I have a chance to swim.

 

  1. Student discounts. Sometimes it is nice to save a few pounds on a movie ticket or a meal.

 

  1. Care packages from home. Getting mail always makes my day a little better.

 

  1. Second chances. I have had my fair share of second chances from people and from life, and seriously, sometimes that is all I need to get it right.

 

  1. 2 minute rice meals. I am a lazy cook sometimes. I can pop one of those in the microwave and add some cheese and salsa and have a meal

 

  1. Bagels and cream cheese. Perfect breakfast for the ultimate lazy eater.

 

  1. I may regret this, but I am enjoying the rain as it comes. I’ve been pretty lucky so far though.

 

  1. My job at the tutoring centre. I may grumble about going into work on a Saturday afternoon/evening, but I really like being with the kids. They make me laugh and it is impossible to be in a bad mood when you are with those kids.

 

  1. Warm socks. My feet get cold very easily, but plenty of warm socks have been purchased for my survival.

 

  1. Boots. I can never have enough pairs.

 

  1. Slippers. Because sometimes I don’t want to wear socks.

 

  1. Anti-depressants. One day I hope to get off of them, but for right now, I am glad I have something to help me with the dark and twisty.

 

  1. Oversized jumpers. Am I wearing a bra? Am I just wearing a sports bra? Have I gained 50 lbs when no one was looking? You don’t know when I have the jumper on.

 

  1. My blog. I have a steady following, which is nice, but even more than that, I like that I can write things down and store it in a place that I can come back to. To be honest, I don’t often go back to read past posts, but it is nice that they are there should I ever want to.

 

  1. My hot water bottle. Lamby keeps me warm. He is also big enough to cuddle.

 

  1. Travel posters. The art that I have collected adds colour to my walls, and makes me feel like I am traveling all the time.

 

  1. Surf videos. For the days when I miss the beach.

 

  1. Fiji lotion. The smell reminds me of my mom, but also makes me tropical.

 

55. Hummingbirds.

  1. Yoga pants. Because I hate real pants.

 

  1. I love celebrity gossip, and I love the sass and snark that comes pops up on that site.

 

  1. Having braces when I was 16. I think I have a fantastic smile, so thanks mom and modern dentistry.

 

  1. My neighbours. The poor couple who live opposite me get to sign for the million and a half things that I order off of Amazon. They have been nothing but nice about it. They just got a puppy, and joked that I can babysit whenever I want.

 

  1. Romance novels. Because sometimes I need to read about hot steamy sex and happy endings.

 

  1. My sound machine app. I can’t handle silence, so I can fall asleep to the sound machine and not my racing thoughts.

 

  1. I have not really had much success yet, but I am grateful that I have so many options to try out and keep myself entertained.

 

  1. My mom’s love for taking pictures of everything. I’m going to want those memories one day.

 

  1. Red Door # 5. It reminds me of my grandma.

 

  1. Clementine scented candles.

 

  1. Bubble bath. Best time to read romance novels.

 

  1. The chance to go to college. I’ve been a student my entire life, and I have been incredibly lucky for the chances that I have had because of it. Being as lucky as I have been has made me want to stay in education.

 

  1. The work of Paulo Freire. If I had not found his work, I am not sure if I would have been able to really explain my view on life.

 

  1. The boyfriends that I’ve had. Some of them sucked, but I learned a lot from each of those relationships, and I have become a better person because of having been with them.

 

  1. Reality TV. Toddlers and Tiaras anyone?

 

  1. Horror movies. I love being scared by something fake rather than something in real life. I have the hardest time not talking to the movie as it plays out, even if I have seen the movie 100 times.

 

  1. My passport. I love being lucky enough to have one and to be able to travel and see the world with little to no restrictions.

 

  1. Motivational posts. I love the Berry and their “Don’t worry, be happy” posts. Sometimes I need the little reminders to stay positive and that life is not as bad as the present moment.

 

  1. Online shopping. I can get everything I need while sitting on my moderately comfy couch. My anti-social nature loves this.

 

  1. Adult colouring books. I have been zenned out for the last two weeks thanks to some colouring books and coloured pencils from my feisty Texan.

 

  1. Culture. One of the things I love most about living here is all of the different people that I come in contact with on a daily basis. I get to learn a lot about people and places. A lot more than I would learn if I was still in California.

 

  1. My flat. It may seem like an odd thing to be grateful for, but it is nicely furnished, I can afford it, and it is in a nice little neighbourhood. It is nice to be living on my own, and it was luck of the universe that I was able to find it.

 

  1. Jumping out of an airplane. I’ve never felt freer in my entire life.

 

  1. Matzo ball soup. A hug in a bowl.

 

  1. Lazy Sundays. I like not having to be anywhere on Sundays.

 

  1. Publishing opportunities. My supervising team believes that I can get published, and believes that what I have to say is important. I grateful even for their support.

 

  1. My 6 year visa. Just in case. I cannot be American if Donald Trump wins.

 

  1. People who offer to help me. Sometimes all I need is the offer to make me feel better. Sometimes I need someone to offer because I am not good about asking for help.

 

  1. Baseball games. If I am watching it live it means an afternoon with my mom. If I am watching it on TV it means I am going to get a really good nap in.

 

  1. Walks at sunset. I like closing out my day in the fresh air. Even though the sun sets at 3:30 right now, come summer, I will have more time to wander to the top of Arthur’s Seat to watch the sunset.

 

  1. Google Maps. Because I am hopeless with directions

 

  1. My little black address book. I like being able to send postcards and gifts to people in the States.

 

  1. Libraries. They provided employment since I was 14, and any place with that many books is alright by me.

 

  1. Used bookshops. Edinburgh is full of them. They are all amazing.

 

  1. Puppies that walk off leash. Strangers hate it when you hug their dogs, but when a puppy wanders up to me, it is all but asking for a bit of a cuddle.

 

  1. That I inherited a good sense of humour. I crack myself up, but I am glad that I can laugh as much as I do.

 

  1. Sour gummy worms. Even when they give me nightmares

 

  1. Peach rings.

 

  1. Snuggles. Sometimes I just need a hug while curled up in bed.

 

  1. UC Merced. A lot happened for me there. A lot of the opportunities that I have been lucky enough to have have come from work I either did, or started there.

 

  1. Home cooked meals. When my friends invite me over for a meal I am in heaven.

 

  1. My mom paying my bills. Again, this should be a lot higher up the list. She has been paying my bills since I was 18, and if she wasn’t helping me out, and didn’t co-sign my loan for my first trip to Scotland, I don’t know where I would be.

 

  1. Autocorrect and spellcheck. I cannot spell prerequisite (I spelled it wrong and used spell check to fix it) to save my life. I’m also still learning British spelling, so the helpful hand is making sure I do not look like a complete fool.

 

  1. My persistence. Who knew I had it in me?

 

  1. The EdD programme at CSUF. If I had not gone through everything I went through in that programme, I would not be sitting on my couch in Edinburgh. That makes every tear I shed, every pound I lost, and every dollar I wasted completely worth it.