The Scamp Abroad

Today my grammy would have turned 75. I say would because she was killed in a car accident in 1996. She would never start her car until all of us had our seat belts on, but she herself refused to wear one. That choice ultimately cost her life.

While she battled many demons (drugs, weight and addictions) I was too young to know any of that, so to me, she was just my grammy. She was fun, told the best stories and had zebra print carpet in her TV room.

Frances Ann was only 20 when my mom was born. I’m not sure if it was hard for her or not, doing the single mom thing before she married my grandpa, but pictures like this make me think she did the best she knew how.

That adorable little creature is me circa 1988. It is clear that she loved being a grandma. Some of my favorite memories as a child involve swimming in her pool in Palm Springs or having milkshakes at Hamburger Hamlet. She was a horrible secret keeper and she used to ask Kelly (who is also a horrible secret keeper) to trade secrets about Christmas gifts with her (it usually worked).

I think this picture best sums up how I remember her. She never took that necklace off, she was always wearing big glasses, and she always smelled like Red Door. For awhile my mom had a garment bag that belonged to my grandma. I used to open it up because every time I did, it smelled like her. My mom finally got rid it when it stopped smelling of her.

One of my favorite memories of her was one weekend we spent in Palm Springs I got a horrible ear infection. While we were waiting in the emergency room, she drew a picture of me getting a shot in the butt with a very large needle. She had my brother and sister rolling, and had me in tears scared to death. I don’t know what happened to that picture, but I wish I still had it.

On the 15th anniversary of her death I got a showgirl tattooed on my back with her initials. My grammy loved Vegas, and loved to gamble, but the tattoo had to be a showgirl. One of my favorite pictures was one that she took on a weekend trip. It is a picture of her head superimposed on a showgirl’s body. She loved that photo and used to joke with people that that was her in a former life.

I spent the day eating a club sandwich, drinking a Coke and watching Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. It is a tradition that my family shares every year on this date. It is a tradition that I take comfort in, no matter where I am or how I am feeling. She may not have been perfect, but she was my grammy and I love her.

This day is hard for my mommy. Those of you that know her, give her a hug, or send her a text reminding her how amazing she is and how proud her mom would be of her.

The day was good and merry, but some things are better left in the moment. I had an amazing time with my friends, and hope that I can sweet talk the boys into throwing more parties so we can have more ridiculous nights before we all must go our separate ways.

Instead, enjoy one of my favorite songs to sing on St. Pat’s Day

Tomorrow starts a week of research and prep work for my classes, and a meeting that will  decide the fate of my dissertation and my return date to the U.S. I’m hoping for May, but preparing for the scenario that keeps me here longer.

If I have to stay, how many of you can I sweet talk into coming to visit?

The rain is thwarting my plans for today. I had gifts and things that I wanted to send, books that need to be returned to the library, and I really wanted to go for a hike.  Since I am stuck inside, I have decided that it might be a good idea to start working on some of my final assignments. The first paper due is for the children’s literature class. I’m looking at various versions of the Three Little Pigs. I feel that spending the day reading the different versions will be a good use of my time.

The most recent class looked at YA fiction and how it has changed. I pretty much tuned out the million and one slides in the lecture, and when I did tune in, the only word I heard was “fangbang”.  Apparently this term is used to describe people in love with vampires.  Yep. My tuition dollars hard at work. The lecturer put up a cover of the book that I read a few months ago about teenage sexual relationships with your first cousin. I was the only one in the class who had read the book, so I was asked to give my thoughts on it. I didn’t really know how to respond to the questions considering the lecturer prefaced the question by saying it was one of the best books ever written for children. I don’t even know if I answered the question. I’m not even sure if I could.

I will now go back to the safe world of children’s fairytales where no one is having sex with their first cousins and there are no fangbangs to speak of. In two weeks the class will be over, thus ending my classroom career at the University of Edinburgh. I can’t believe the time is almost here. I’m starting to think about the next step. I have a vague idea of my dissertation topic, and hopefully after next week I will have a solid return date.

Of course I am thinking of joining the circus. That may prolong my return date.

Today marks the one year anniversary of A Scamp Abroad. The first official public post is March 26th, but today marks the day when my mommy and I returned from the first trip here and I had settled my mind on moving here. I started this little treasure that night, but I have decided to keep the first few private. There are just some things that people do not need to read.

It’s been quite a year. I’ve had quite an adventure. Three papers and my dissertation stand between me and my degree. That’s it. I’m not really sure where the time went, but if all goes according to plan, I’ll be back in Orange County in  2 months. I already miss the friends I have made here. I know that the next few weeks are going to be very busy. I have loads of reading to do, and loads of work to prepare, but since I am still focused on problems at home, I have found that no real work is getting done. Luckily I find the topics interesting, so when I do find the motivation to work, I do not think it will be too difficult to get things done. In the last month I have developed some really bad habits where food and sleep are concerned, so I am going to try and break those too. I’ll also be practicing my crow pose.

In the meantime, I’ve finished (and for the most part survived) the cultural sensitivity class. While the last class was completely pointless, I am proud to say that I did not miss a single class. I have a lot to make up for since most of the time I tuned out what the lecturer  was actually saying, but my butt was in a seat every Wednesday. I really like the final assignment, and as much as I didn’t care for the lecturer, I feel that she will be a fair grader, so with a little effort and a lot of research, I feel that I will do well in the class. I submitted a feedback form suggesting that the class may be handled in a different manner next semester. Under the “advice for a student taking the class in the future” question, I simply said, choose another class.

I hope that wasn’t too bitchy….

This is one of my favorite songs. I have a deep love for A Tribe Called Quest, but I have an even deeper love for anything that spells my name out in a song.

Lately I have been trying to live the song, keep it movin’. What “it” is, I am not so sure, but I am just trying to put one foot in front of the other and make it through the day. The high from my birthday has worn off a bit, and I have found myself sliding back into my mopey ways. I have an assignment due Wednesday that is still not ready to go, and one due Friday that still needs editing. The only thing I managed to do today was my laundry and watch Big Bang Theory. The snow and wind didn’t help, but I have lost my motivation again. After the wonderful dinner I had tonight, my only urge is to curl up in bed with some chocolate and the psychological thriller I checked out from the library.

On the upside, Wednesday is the last day of the cultural sensitivity class. After Wednesday, I will never have to worry about hearing how awful I am because I am American, or because I am Jewish, never have to try and keep myself awake at 9 am, and never have to read anther article written by the professor.

hmmmm…..suddenly I am feeling a lot better about the week.

The best thing about my birthday this year was being reminded of how many truly amazing people there are in my life. From start to finish it was one of the best days that I have had in Scotland. The day started with cards and packages from home. My friends Ben and Maggie sent me a cat card that had me giggling, and my mom sent me a box of all my favorite candies and snacks. This year Kelly and I sent each other the same present (cuddly sheep) and the dancing hamster card she sent me is something I am going to show everyone.

My favorite Texan started my day here by treating me to real Mexican food and cake. The food was amazing. My tummy was very happy, and I was touched that she would take time to make sure my day started off on the right foot. My trainstationist made me a penguin card, found the largest piece of chocolate in Scotland, and the best sheep key chain ever, and happily presented them to me upon my return. She also ran interference when creepy dude at the pub tried to slip me his digits.

In the early afternoon I was able to talk to my mommy. I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to see Kelly, but being able to see my parents was worth it. I will get to see them officially in a month, but this was a good spot in the day. I was also able to connect with a lot of my friends and family at home. One of the best gifts was a text, and lot of understanding from one of my best friends. I was cruel to her, but she was by far the bigger person by reaching out to me. I was able to talk to David, but because I am a fucktard, it was not one of the bright spots of my day. He bought me a beautiful dress for Valentine’s Day and my birthday, and topped it off with the perfect T-Rex necklace.

Although I had dinner in the JMCC, I was able to share the meal with the wonderful people that live on my floor. One of them gave me a very sweet card, and I was showered with hugs and laughter.I then set off to my favorite pub to celebrate the day with the girls from my program and the 5 people that I love spending my days with.

The pub was so much fun. It got off to a slow start,and I had a moment of panic thinking no one would come, but everyone from my program came (1 was there in spirit, and sent me a wonderful gift) and they showered me with amazing cards and gifts. I got really amazing chocolates, thoughtful and beautiful cards, cake, waffles, and a book of amazing poems, short stories and speeches. All of the girls signed a giant card for me, and you can bet that I am going to be keeping that for a very long time. Everyone hung out, traded laughs and stories, and kept me well supplied with Sailor Jerry and coke. Thursday nights are karaoke night at the pub, and I had so much fun singing along and cheering on the boys as they sang Men at Work, Journey, and a few other tunes. They even got the pub to sing me happy birthday, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I wore a new dress, gossip and laughed with my friends, and did my part by singing, cheering, and laughing to the songs performed throughout the night. I even managed to charm a guy enough for him to pass me his number. Luckily Cecile was there to inform him that I was not interested. I  maintain that it was the amazing dress that my mother sent me.

One of the best gifts I got this year was a book. It isn’t sold in stores yet, and the author is not well known, but it is one of my favorite books. At 85 pages, I can now see my pages in tangible form. I had a real emotional moment when I opened the package to see my blog in book form. People keep joking that I should turn this into a book, and I joke that I really only have 7 readers, but in truth, seeing my words in book form means a lot to me. This started out as a little journal to chronicle my life here, and lately it has become more than that. It has become my outlet for all the crazy thoughts that are in my head, and my help to sort out how to heal. The note written on the wrapping said:

Words are my daily bread, feed my soul, give me strength.

Truer words have never been spoken.Having others see value in my words, and think enough of me to present me with such a gift is amazing. I feel very loved, and very much the opposite of alone.

While the night would have been made perfect by spending it with Kelly, I know that this is a birthday that I will remember forever.

I do a lot of complaining about the food that the dinning hall serves. It has steadily been getting worse, and I was afraid that I was going to have to suffer for the next 12 weeks.

I thought wrong.

Yesterday the dining hall announced that they will now be serving bagels during breakfast. Bagels and cream cheese are two of the foods that I miss the most. I usually skip breakfast, but now that I know there will be bagels, I will certainly drag myself out of bed. It will be a nice change to the bowl of cereal and occasional crunchy pancakes. I will definitely be sneaking some out for  my mid day snacks too.

If I could get them to serve them at dinner along with the fruit and yogurt, I’d be a happy happy girl.

It’s the simple things in life, right?