friendship | The Scamp Abroad

The Scamp and Some Queens

Posted on May 25, 2015 by erranteditor

This has been a busy week. So busy, in fact, that I have a lot to say, and each needs to be its own post. I’ll start with The queens. No one loves drag queens more than I love drag queens. When I lived in San Diego, I was a frequent guest at Lips for Gospel Sunday Brunch, bitchy bingo, and two bachelorette parties. When RuPaul started RuPual’s Drag Race seven seasons ago, I was hooked. It was America’s Next Top Model meets Bad Girls Club. I had no idea that they taped the finale in Los Angeles, so when my favorite queen told me he had an extra ticket at the last minute, I cancelled my plans to lay in bed in my pjs all day to go see three queens lip sync for their life.

It was every bit as magical as I hoped it would be. Everything about the day was great. I got to spend some good quality time with my ride or die, his friend who was also a drag queen enthusiast was a blast and a half, and everyone that we met while waiting in line, and once we made it into the theater was great. The 18-year-old girls standing in line behind us made me feel old, and were the strangest groupies that I have ever met, and the group of 40-year-old men trying to look 20 in front of us laughed at my jokes, and provided some very colorful insight into how they thought the finale would play out.

Photo courtesy of I. Noe

Once we got into the theater, we got to watch the queens walk the red carpet, pose for pictures, and do interviews with Logo, and online blogs and fashion sites. Following the red carpet, the queens all went into a makeshift bar and lounge where they took pictures, chatted, and mingled with the guests. Of the 10 or so that we talked to, only one was bitchy. Everyone else was so fun and nice. Many of the girls made their own dresses, and some even offered advice about how to take a proper photo with a drag queen (Always have the flash on, and always put your arm around their waist). Ivan and Katie were starstruck, so while I snapped as many photos as possible with them and the queens, I failed to actually get myself into any of the photos.

Pearl, Violet, and Ginger Minnj, the Season 7 finalists.
Photo courtesy of I. Noe

By far the best outfit of the night.
Photo courtesy of @rupaulsdragrace

Season 6 winner Bianca Del Rio. This bitch stole the show with her opening acts.
Photo courtesy of @thebiancadelrio

The taping was an interesting experience. As this was my first time ever being at a show taping, I was not quite sure what to expect. It was a bit strange to tape all of our reactions to different events before the taping even started. We laughed, we cheered, we looked shocked, we looked sad, we held hands and danced with the people around us….all before we ever saw any of the performances, or the show officially started taping. When the actual taping started, it was a lot of fun to see RuPaul try to read off cue cards, for the queens to lip sync their songs, and to see what their friends and family had to say about them making it this far in the competition. There was even a celebrity in the audience. To be honest, I thought she was one of the drag queens when she came in, but she was nice enough, and seemed very normal…a very drastic change from her usual public persona. It was quite nice to see her that way.

With goes to show you how tall RuPaul really is. Miley Cyrus is 5’4
Photo courtesy of @mileycyrus

Posing with the Season 7 contestants.
Photo courtesy of @mileycyrus

I cannot wait to see the finale all edited together when it airs next week. I’m team Pearl all the way, but Ginger Minj made a strong showing, so it is anyone’s game. Here is a video from the walk down the red carpet for all to enjoy.

The Scamp and the Gratitude Challenge: Week 20

Posted on May 16, 2015 by erranteditor

This week is all about friendship. I get to pick another friend that makes me feel grateful. The first one I was grateful for was my cat, Odin. He’s my favorite companion and he means a lot to me. Even as I try to get this out, he sits on my lap and drools all over my leg.

True story, here we are, me trying to write, him trying to figure out a way on to my pillow

This week is hard only in the sense that I do not want to have to pick just one friend. Lately, all the ones that really matter to me have been amazing. Between baked goods and heart felt letters, to phone calls and reminders that I will be missed, and that I am loved, snarked with me, I am really feeling like I have made some good choices of people to have in my life. This was a good lesson for the week because in addition to being done with my job, and having to get serious about the packing, I have planned a little goodbye party. It is my last chance to see everyone before I go, and since this time is a little more permanent than the last time I left, I am taking it way more personally that some of the people that I have known for years are blowing me off. I’m not so sure why in a see of “yes” responses, I am letting the one or two “nos” really bother me. The wonderful thing about the friendships that I have made, is that when I voice this fear (and I have been moaning about it a lot), my friends have assured me that I am loved, and have reminded me to focus on the positive. These are the people that I cannot wait to Skype with, the people that I hope will come visit me, and the people that I know will be in my life for a very very long time.

and for that reason, and because the cat found his way to my pillow, I am going to refuse to just pick one friend that I am grateful for. Instead, I am going to look through the pictures on my computer, the photo album in the bottom of my nightstand, and my external flash drive from five years ago and take a walk down memory lane with some really good people.

The Gratitude Challenge Week 7 and 8

Posted on February 20, 2015 by erranteditor

I’m way behind, and a bit lazy, so I am doing two weeks at once.

Week 7 is all about one friend who I am grateful for while week 8 was all about expressing gratitude to three people.

7 is a no brainer. The woman who I am highlighting this week is Toni. We met while working for the University of San Diego. We bonded over filing and mocking law students, and our friendship is based on snark, sarcasm, and squirrels. When she finally met her soulmate, she allowed me to be the officiant.

When I need a cute kid fix, she sends me pictures of my meow

When I was terrified about walking into a meeting at Cal State Fullerton alone, she drove over 100 miles to come to the meeting and act as my council (knowing a lawyer is really handy). When my legal issues reach beyond her expertise, she hunted down a lawyer who was best suited to give me advice. There really are not enough words to express how grateful I am for her friendship. I’m waiting for the day I can repay her for her kindness.

As for week 8, this was a hard one. I’m not very good at asking for help, and I am even worse at thanking people when they do help me. I have been a bit socially awkward lately in order to avoid having to explain what happened with CSUF, so my attempts to express my gratitude have been almost painful.

The first person I expressed my gratitude to was my therapist. My sessions with her have come to an end. Obamacare does not think that mental health is important, so I have to find low cost options to get help with my depression. The city of Brea offers a service, and I was matched with a great therapist. She really helped me cope with all of the nasty things that went on in the program, and helped me deal with the fallout of being asked to leave. Had it not been for her, the program really would have broken me. Unfortunately, I am only given a certain number of sessions, and now have to hunt for another manageable program.

The second person I expressed my gratitude to was a difficult one. When I visit my doc every few months, I have to give lots of blood and pee in a cup. Having gone through this procedure often enough, I know how much water I need to drink and when to be able to handle that, and I know that the veins in my right arm are better than the ones in my left. I also know which of the nurses has a light touch, and which one can never seem to find the vein. This week, I got Nurse Ratchet. She insisted on using my left arm, and when she jabbed the needle into my arm and missed the vein, I was none too pleased. I was ready to be mean, but instead decided to thank her and tell her how grateful I was that she was able to get my blood drawn quickly. She told I must have a low tolerance for pain, and then told me how to pee in the cup properly, I feel that my gratitude was somewhat wasted on her, but I did appreciate the lesson on how to pee in a cup (turns out I have been doing it wrong for years! Who knew?).

The third person who got a little of my gratitude this week was actually more than one person. My freshman level writing course were really good sports this week. I’m a big believer of technology, and the day I need to show a video and go over some grammar issues, the light in the projector blows up. My students did not complain and settled into hearing me discuss the lectures old school style. They actually took notes, asked questions, and did the writing assignment assigned to them. I don’t know if they are actually good people, or they knew that I did not want to be trifled with, but either way, I told them I was grateful that they kept their thoughts about the class to themselves.

Now that that is out of the way I can focus on my upcoming trip to Boston. It is snowmaggedon there, so it should be an interesting few days. I don’t think I will be seeing as many sites as I thought I would, but I am still going to try and get to Harvard Square and the Boston Commons. I may even go the bar where everybody knows your name.

The Scamp and a Pirate Rubber Chicken

Posted on May 6, 2014 by erranteditor

I’m jealous of a dog toy.

Not just any dog toy. I am jealous of a Pirate Rubber chicken. Most people know of his adventures (and if not, you can find it here: https://ascampabroad.wordpress.com/2013/04/14/the-scamp-and-a-rubber-pirate-chicken/). I am jealous because PRC gets to travel the world, visiting places I want to visit and spending time with people that I miss.

He was with me in Scotland, and then went back at my graduation.

When I left Scotland, PRC went to Lyon, France with one of my favorite people. She took him all over her home, and treated him to a very happy Christmas

From Lyon, he made his way to Talin, Estonia. He had the pleasure of staying with another of my favorite people from Scotland. She is on a teaching assignment there. After a few days in the cold he made his way to Malta and then to visit Mt. Etna. He certainly got to see some nice places (and make some new friends) on that leg of his journey.

PRC likes warm weather though, so from Estonia, he moved on to Berowa, Australia. I have had a deep love affair with Australia since I was younger, and it just so happens that I was lucky enough to meet a lovely family who lives there when I was in Ireland two years ago. The head of the house is a wonderful man with an amazing sense of humor. He agreed to host Chicken for awhile.

From there, PRC made his way to his current lodgings in Canterbury. He is going to have great fun learning maths, and hanging out with one of my favorite Irishman. It looks like he is already having a good time.

I know it seems silly to be jealous of a toy, but it is not really that he gets to travel (although that is what I would love to be doing), but it is the fact that he gets to visit all of these people that I love and miss. When he made it to England, my trusty Irishman said that having Chicken made him miss me all that much more.

The feeling is mutual. I miss each and every person that Chicken has visited. I love that my friends have been so willing to take him and take funny pictures of him in their travels. My goal is to visit all of the places that the chicken has been and reunite with all of the amazing people that have been part of his journey.

If anyone would like to host chicken, feel free to send me your address and I will send him for a visit. If you would like to follow his travels, you can like his page and follow him here: https://www.facebook.com/piraterubberchicken4

The Scamp and a Shake-up

Posted on March 31, 2014 by erranteditor

For the last 48 hours there have been 2 really strong earthquakes and about 100 aftershocks. I’m really over the earth moving. The really strong quake scared the beejezus out of me. It was a 5.1, which although not seriously deadly, was centered in the street outside my house, so it felt more like a 7. All of the pictures flew off the walls, all of the drawers and cabinets opened, books fell off the shelves, and I call my mom crying like a baby begging her to come home from their place in the mountains. No one was hurt, only one glass was broken, and after a bit of clean-up, everything was back in proper working order.

While the quake shook me up, it also gave me an idea.

I need to shake up my routine. I’ve spent the last few months wallowing in my depression. That is enough time. Considering I didn’t like the therapists at school, and I won’t have insurance for a couple more months, I need to do what I can for myself to make it better.

I am on spring break from the university this week, so I have decided that I am going to do one thing every day this week that makes me happy. Sunday to Sunday, I will pick something new every day that makes me happy.

Sunday I did a couple of things that made me happy. I started the day with a Skype chat. I have not been very good about talking to my friends from Scotland. I was spending every weekend with the boy, so I was not following through with the regular Sunday chats. Being able to hear their voices was so amazing! I missed them more than I realized, and it was nice for a bit of a catch-up with them. It has not quelled my need to get up and move from here, but it did make me feel a lot better hearing their voices.

The next thing I did was have dinner with my sister. She got me some amazing prints of pin-up girls that I am going to slowly frame and hang up in random places. We ate yummy food and watched ridiculous TV. I got my social fix, and in a way that makes me happy.

I have Monday off from work, so I am going to sleep in, get ready for the week of focus groups, and make a list of all of the things that I want to do this week to make me happy. I’m also going to do a bit of spring cleaning….of both things and people that are making me miserable and not adding anything to my life. Without some of the clutter, physical and emotional, maybe I will be able to get myself feeling better before I can see a doctor.

The Scamp Gets Overwhelmed

Posted on March 13, 2014 by erranteditor

I’ve become THAT girl.

I’ve become that creepy girl that sits at the back of the room rocking and chewing on her hair.

Yesterday I imploded in the middle of class. One minute I was in class listening to book report presentations, and the next minute I was sobbing uncontrollably and hastily running out of my class before too many people noticed what was going on.

I cried for the next 40 minutes. I cried so hard I gave myself the hiccups. I cried on the phone with the boy, and while he was nice about it, it was not exactly what he should have been doing at 7 pm on a Tuesday. I was a mess. This has been building for months, and it sure chose the worst time to come through. I’m not exactly good with my feelings and emotions. I like to keep things bottled up and pretend that things don’t bother me when they do. For the last few months I have been trying to juggle three jobs, school, homework, a social life and the boy, and my juggling skills have finally run out.

There is a reason that the program told us at the beginning to not be in relationships, to take a sabbatical from work, and to kiss our social lives goodbye. This program sucks the life out of you. It will consume you. The reading, the studying, the writing, the prepping for the qualifying exam, and then for my dissertation….it never ends. I expected it. I knew that I would be busy, I knew that it would be hard, but to be in the middle of it now while trying to juggle other things. While the program was slowly sucking the life out of me, I let myself fall into old habits. The sucky thing is, when I get into these bouts of depression, I tend to ruin relationships. I can already feel myself doing that. Without insurance though, I cannot afford to see a doc, and some of the affordable options have not been a good fit (I guess that is a good enough reason to sign up for insurance).

The problem is, I’m selfish. I may want to quit the program at this very moment, but I am not going to. I may want to quit one or two of my jobs, but I am not going to. The library pays my bills for the moment, I love working with the junior high kids, and the professor I work for is one of the nicest people I have ever met. She is also giving me the opportunity to publish, learn, and immerse myself in research. I should not go to SD and see the boy, or hang out with people for happy hour, but I am not going to give those up. I love my friends and family, and I love the boy the best way I know how, and I don’t want to let any of that go.

The problem is, instead of doing everything that I learned to do while I was in therapy in Scotland, I reverted. I don’t know how to keep that from happening. I don’t know how to reconcile what I know I need to do with what I am doing.

Luckily I have some amazing friends and family to help see me through. My BFF has been giving me just the kick in the pants I need (and enough daily reminders that I am not in fact a broken toy) to keep me from crawling too deep into the hole. I’m also getting to the gym and getting some weekly yoga classes that are helping me work off some of the tension, and I am really hoping that I can make a lasting change, rather than just a change I thought was lasting.

I hate admitting that I failed….well not failed, but suffered a setback. I like to think of myself as strong and perfect, completely capable of taking care of myself, but I am slowly learning in my old age that that might not be the case.

….and that is completely okay.

The Scamp Reaches

Posted on January 30, 2014 by erranteditor

Today I sound like a strangled goose. The cold came out of nowhere, and I feel icky. I think the boy gave it to me, but in truth, I am sure the stress of the last few weeks didn’t help. I tried to muscle through work today, but I did not get as much done as I would like.

The problem with feelings like this is I tend to get sucked into the negative. I throw a little pity party, and wallow in my feelings until they drive me crazy. I’d like to say that it is just the winter blues, but since California has yet to have a cold day.When I was in Scotland, I recognized that I needed some help, and I was strong enough in my surroundings to get the help. The little wellness center tucked between the walls of a souvenir shop and an Indian restaurant helped me discover that not only was I not crazy, but I wasn’t broken either.

I don’t have that support system here. Sure, I have my family and a few really good friends here, but without insurance, I have been reluctant to seek the help, even just for a check in and a reminder that I am not as batshit crazy as I think I am.

My class being cancelled, lapses in planning and organization, and the overwhelming urge to stick my head in the sand has made me rethink that reluctance.

Luckily I am surrounded by people that encourage me to do what I need to do to get through the days. Two of my best friends have been more than willing to talk to me about the benefits of professional help, and that hiding in bed all day is not a good idea.

In the meantime, a little snuggling with my cat will have to get me through.

A Scamp and Family Time

Posted on May 27, 2013 by erranteditor

Nothing says, “good quality time” like telling your family about your first gang bang….well, the first gang bang that you got to hear going on in the room below you.

Today could have been a crappy day. Today was supposed to be my original coming home date, and today would have been my anniversary with David. Instead I got to spend the day laying by the pool with my mom and then having a BBQ with my aunt, uncle and cousins. My cousin just completed her first year of college, and now she is back to spend the summer giving her parents grey hair while she demonstrates all of the colorful things that she learned in college (and by that I mean all of the colorful language, the other stuff doesn’t need to be shared). It was nice to be with my sister and brother-in-law and cousins, have some grilled chicken and potato salad, and laugh at all of the ridiculous things that my family says.

I also got to see most of my Scotland friends today. Thanks to technology, I was able to say hello and see them all gussied up for a tea party, and they were able to see sunshine. I’d like to think I was doing them just as much a favor as they were doing me.

Best part of today? Watching these two romp and play in the grass.

Tomorrow I will have to get back to the research. I’ve found some books that will be helpful, so now all I have to do is track them down in ebook form and the research and reading can continue.

A Scamp Gets Welcomed Home

Posted on May 20, 2013 by erranteditor

Nothing says “I love you” like a sign that says WELCOME HOME SHITHEAD in Scots Gaelic. The sign is currently holding a place of honor in my bedroom. It speaks to my family as a whole, but more importantly it was made by my mom and my sister, both of whom came to get me at the airport. It was a really long day of travel. Really long. I have never been more happy to get off a plane. Never so happy to see my family.

I had a horrible headache when I landed, but that didn’t really dampen my excitement for being home. I slept in my own bed with real pillows, ate warm food that was properly cooked, and am back in texting range with the people here. It was very surreal. Even after being here for almost two days, I still haven’t processed the fact that I am not going back to Scotland. It doesn’t feel real yet that I am now living here again. I feel bad because I blew off everything yesterday, including a chance to see my OMGBFF. I got a new American phone, got some unpacking done, and drove my car around a little. The sun was out, I was wearing a dress, and the small breeze moved the air around just enough to make the day extremely pleasant. Despite all of that, all I really wanted to do was curl up in my bed and hide from the world. Even now, I am putting off reading and work in favor of sitting by the pool in the sun and surfing the internet.

I keep thinking about my friends in Scotland. I wonder what they are doing, I miss eating breakfast and dinner with them, having random movie nights or dinner parties with them, and I feel much the same way that I did when I first left here in September, I am now out of sight and out of mind. Their worlds will continue on like I was never there. While it feels good to be home, I feel really out of place. On the one hand, I am very comfortable here, everything feels familiar and inviting, but on the other, I feel like I don’t belong here yet. It still feels a bit like a vacation. I’m hoping that feeling goes away so that I can settle into a work schedule and start to get things back on track.

For right now though, a nap in the sun is just what I need.

A Scamp Meets the Family

Posted on May 14, 2013 by erranteditor

La Habra, California has been described as a place with a liquor store on every corner and more pitbulls than people. That is very different than the picture of La Habra I have, and the way I feel about it when I bring people home to visit. If that is the way I feel about the city I grew up in, I would say that is an accurate view of how my BFF feels about his home, Dundee, Scotland. Dundee would never be called a thriving metropolis, and is known for being a low socio-economic threshold, but it lies within the eastern central Lowlands on the north bank of the Firth of Tay, which feeds into the North Sea. The bus ride into Dundee is quite beautiful, and the bus ride out as the sun was getting ready to set makes the place look peaceful and calm. Even without all of that, I knew that I would enjoy Dundee for the simple fact that it is the birthplace of my BFF and he invited me home to meet his family.

With the exception of David’s family, families love me, and more often than not, I love them. I am also really competitive, so the fact that I am the first (and so far, only) person that has been invited meant that the day promised to be a good one. I was not disappointed. The only downside to the trip was that the day seemed to progress at warped speed and was over before I could properly blink. The trip started off with a quick bus ride. The BFF and I are never short on good banter, so the trip passed quickly. We then met a good friend of his for lunch in a fun little pub. We swapped stories, had some good grub, and then they treated me to a quick tour of the university where they did their undergrad. We followed lunch with a trip to Gran’s house. A good cup of tea and nice conversation followed. I also got to meet the aunt and uncle and very excited boxer. Listening to them all interact and chat with each other was fun. The BFF was very much relaxed, and very happy to be in his gran’s kitchen. From there we moved on to his mother’s house to meet the rest of the family. His mother was very nice and very welcoming. She tried to feed us, and then did the best thing ever and brought me a some great baby pictures. I even got to see him with a tan!!!! This is a big thing for those who don’t know my BFF. He is a proper Scottish boy, pasty skin and all. He hates the sun, and his idea of perfect weather is a cold light rain and possibly some wind. His mom sent us off with a backpack full of food, reminding me a lot of my mom whenever I would visit for the weekend when I was living in California.

The best part of the day was the fact that I had a few hours with the BFF that were just the two of us. We had some serious bonding in the backseat of the car in Belfast, but since then, we haven’t really had a lot of BFF bonding time. He didn’t really know the specifics about heartstompapoolza, but he made sure to show up when I needed a night out and offer me chats and his hatred for David. He is generally antisocial, but he always makes time for me, and checks in with a funny thought or insightful comment. He is one of the things that will most about Scotland.

I got to end the night with some of the other reasons that I will miss Scotland. I got a home cooked Chinese meal and some much needed junk food. I love hanging out with the girls from my program because they understand the need to be random and ridiculous, and they are also quick to remind me that I am not a spinster in the making. They listen to my moans and complaints and fears about going home, and are quick to remind me all of the good that is coming from it.

Even though I am stretched way too thin this week, I am glad that they are willing to carve out time to spend with me before I return to the land of sunshine and movie stars.