Writing Challenge

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 17

Posted on by erranteditor

The writing challenge this week is a really fun one. I’m tasked with answering this prompt:

Wall to wall What do you display on the walls of your home — photos, posters, artwork, nothing? How do you choose what to display? What mood are you trying to create?

I love this. I love art. I collect vintage travel posters (although they all live in California right now) and love funky and colourful art. I’m a little bit weird, and I feel like the art that I have on display says a lot about me. None of it really matches, some of it is weird, some of it offensive, but all of it together somehow works. I want people to feel at ease when they come visit me, and also have something to look at other than my off white walls. I don’t do well with empty and blank spaces, so I’ve always had a lot of posters and photos on my walls. My desk at work is also decorated and covered with family photos, a mini drum kit, and pictures of my friends. While I could show you everything in my place, I think I’ll stick to sharing my favourite wall with you.

I spend a lot of time in my living room watching TV or working on my couch. The wall that the couch faces is the most decorated in the place. I happen to think it is the best view in the flat.

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The painting of California was the first thing I ever hung on my wall here. I know that I spend a lot of time writing about how I don’t want to live there and how California and I had to break up, but the rest of my heart is there, and it is where I started life, so I like to have the little reminder with me. The photo underneath it was my maid of honour present from the wombmate when she got married. She had it made for me, and I think it really speaks to my personality. The rest of the art displayed is from local artists.

Strike that…the two photos of France I bought in Paris, and the nesting doll I bought in Budapest, but the rest of the artwork comes from Scottish artists. The photos all seem to be a bit crooked, and to be honest, I really like them that way. It seems more honest that way. I can’t really pick a favourite piece, they are just all so good.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 16

Posted on by erranteditor

….or, the Scamp Glamps with other Scamps

That’s right, I went Glamping!

glamping
ˈɡlampɪŋ/
noun

BRITISHinformal
  1. a form of camping involving accommodation and facilities more luxurious than those associated with traditional camping.
    “glamping is likely to satisfy any city slicker seeking a little refuge in nature—without foregoing any of life’s luxuries”

This trip came about because two of the other Flamingos went glamping and it was awful. While on that trip they booked a spot for us at Ecocamp Glenshee. For those of you not familiar with Scotland beyond the city (which is really just me saying I had to do some research to figure out where exactly we were), here is what Wikipedia has to say about Glenshee:

Glen Shee (Scottish Gaelic: Gleann Sith) is a glen in eastern Perthshire, Scotland.[1][2] Shee Water flows through the glen. The head of the glen, where Gleann Taitneach and Glen Lochsie meet, is approximately 2 km north-west of the Spittal of Glenshee; it then runs south-east to Bridge of Cally where it merges with Strathardle to form Glen Ericht. Once known as the glen of the fairies it takes its name from the Gaelic “sith” meaning fairy and the old meeting place at the standing stone behind the present day church is called Dun Shith or Hill of the Fairies.

It is known to the locals for the chair lifts and sky centre, as well as the Devil’s Elbow, a crazy scary road full of twists and turns. It has been featured in adverts, on Top Gear, and has claimed the lives of many a driver who was not careful. It is also home to some of the best views in Scotland.

It was cold, and snowed a tiny bit while we were at the top of the chair lift, but it didn’t rain, and we had a nice wood burning stove in our Wagon to keep us warm. We all needed a bit of a break from the city. We needed to be away from laptops, cellphones, and people. Ecocamp Glenshee was the perfect place to be because it was less than two hours from home, and was easily located using GPS.

The camp is stunning.

Ecocamp-Map2016

*photo courtesy of Ecocamp Glenshee

The four Flamingos stayed in the wagon that overlooked the llamas. It was a very cozy car with nice beds and a stove to keep us warm.

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The owners of the farm and the keepers of the Llamas were incredible. They were very welcoming, made sure that we had everything that we needed, and gave us a tour of the grounds. We met chickens, goats, the Llamas and the donkeys. We named the goat Gary, the Llamas Harry, Larry, Barry and Carry, and one of the chickens Cecil.

*Llama photo courtesy of Ecocamp Glenshee

We had snacks and food for a BBQ, a bothy ( a small hut or cottage usually for farm workers that is open and free of charge to use) where we could charge our phones and do dishes, and enough booze to keep us well happy for the weekend. Everything at the camp was recycled or reused, even table scraps were used to feed Gary the goat and the chickens. Sustainable and organic towels, soaps, and teas, and very little electricity.  We spent a lot of time chatting about life, playing Zombie Dice, and playing the best game of Cards Against Humanity ever. I have the American edition, and I am the only American, so I was about pissing myself with laughter when they were asking me who Rush Limbaugh was, or what the 3/5 compromise meant. I also got to explain a rather graphic sex act, which also had me laughing. Being that they did not understand the humour in some of my answers, I got my butt kicked big time.

I would not have changed a thing.

We were surrounded by the smell of campfire, bundled into bunkbeds and discovered the joys of walking to a toilet at 3:30 in the morning.  We saw stars, a tiny bit of the Northern Lights, and all came home in a good mood. Scotland is also small enough that I ran into one of the programme leaders who helped me with my research last year!

The couple of days away was exactly what I needed to recharge a little before a busy couple of weeks. On a happy note, I finally got the green light to submit my feedback paper for publication! Almost two years of work and 14 drafts later, I am ready to see if I can get something published.

Hopefully, fingers crossed, the academic world will like what I have to say.

For anyone who would like to visit Ecocamp Glenshee, you can find all the info you need here: http://www.ecocampglenshee.co.uk/

Peace, love and llamas

 

The Scamp and the Writing Project: Week 15

Posted on by erranteditor

The challenge for this week is all about making lists. It is written that I can be as serious or as funny as I want about the subject of said list, but I had to make a list.

I was going to list the reasons why I like naps, but then I spent Tuesday waiting for FedEx and binge watching 13 Reasons Why, and decided that maybe my list should be a little more meaningful.

For those of you who have not seen the Netflix show, mini spoiler alert, it is about a girl who records the 13 reasons why she committed suicide. It is really well done, but very very very hard to watch. I don’t want to give too many spoilers, but one of the things that I really related to in Hannah’s struggle was the victim blaming. When all of that crazy stuff happened at CSUF, I was the one who ended up looking like the bad guy. I was the one that felt like I had done something wrong, and was the one forced to apologise to the people who hurt me. I was forced to listen to people label me a problem and accuse me of having no integrity. These people  told me I had created the situation, and I should apologise for the way things turned out. One of my really good friends told me that I had no right to feel attacked or discriminated against because of the colour of my skin, and that considering everything, it was best to just move on from the experience. People who were my friends froze me out, took sides, and eventually rendered me obsolete. Only one of them ever checked on me, and even then, I sometimes wonder if it was just for the gossip. I spent almost a year thinking the whole thing was my fault, and thinking that not only was my entire career over, but that I was going to become a racist because of it. That was the worst part, thinking that I was going to become the hateful monster that they all thought I was.

So in honour of the way that TV show triggered me, I thought I would make a list of 13 reasons why I am learning to be happy and love myself.

I had an amazing therapist who believed me. Not having insurance, I had to turn to other methods to get help. When I had run out of sessions at the uni, I went to the Brea Family Resource Center. For $10 a week, I could see a licenced therapist to help me work through my depression. I was really dark and twisty while I was at CSUF. I used to cry to class and on the way home from class. When it all ended, I spent most of my time in bed, didn’t talk to anyone, didn’t go out, and barely got dressed to go to work. My mother used to pretend she needed me to do things for her so I would have to put clothes on and leave the house. The BFRC saved my life. I’m not sure if they realise it, but that Thursday appointment was sometimes the only reason I made it through the week. Laurie, the therapist I saw, never made me feel crazy about what I described in the programme, never told me I was wrong when I cried about how depressed I was, and reminded me time and again that as long as I worked hard to make sense of, and heal from what happened, I would not bare any permanent scars, or become a racist. She worked really hard to help me separate the people who hurt me from what I knew to be true of most people. She got me through some really really dark days, and she was one of my biggest cheerleaders when I got the position in Edinburgh.

My family. They hugged me every time I came home crying, teased me to lighten the mood, and never questioned my telling of events. They took phone calls, called the evil women bitches, and sat in meetings with me so I didn’t have to face anything alone. They offered support, love, and a chance to feel normal…or as normal as you can when you are majorly depressed and feel like a giant failure.

Sour gummy worms. This needs no explanation. They make everything better.

My cat. He gave unconditional love. He didn’t care what I did or didn’t do as long as he got plenty of snuggles and got to sleep on my bed every night.

The beach. I used to go sit at the beach a lot to watch the waves and calm down. There is nothing better than sitting with your toes in the sand and a sea breeze tickling your face.

My friends. I have some really good friends from California that stuck by me, and friends that I made while living in Scotland who used to send care packages and have Skype dates with me to remind me that I’m not alone. I still have group chats, constant texts and the occasional care package to remind me that they love me. I can’t wait for more of them to be able to have the chance to come visit.

My passport. While I was trying to heal, I used my passport to see the world and  feed my wanderlulst.

Edinburgh. This city saved my life. I fell in love with it the first time I moved here, and being given the chance to move back at just the right time has made all the difference. I know that everyday isn’t perfect here, but I feel at home here, so dealing with the bad days is easier.

My Edinburgh friends. The people I already knew when I moved, and the people I made friends with since the PhD started have made a huge difference in my life. I have made more friends in the last couple of months than I had in years. It is nice to have people to share a meal with, to play music with, have a drink and a laugh with, and to talk to when I am feeling insecure, sad, or angry. I love them a lot, and while I don’t always talk to them about the dark and twisty, they seem to like me and are willing to support me just the way I am…..even when I am being unreasonable.

My current therapist. She is expensive, but worth it. She has really helped me build my self-confidence and find ways to not only manage my anxiety and work through my depression, but she is helping me break my habit of the dark and twisty and slowly getting me to become more of a glass half full kinda girl

Yoga. Enough said.

My blog. I can get the crazy thoughts out of my head and onto the page. It is nice to get the words out of my brain, but it is also nice to feel like I am sharing a bit of me with the world. I don’t normally do that face-to-face with people, but it is pretty easy for me to do from behind my computer screen. I have met some lovely people through my blog, and it is nice to know that there are people out there that share my love for writing and travel, who struggle with depression and anxiety, and are generally interested in what I have to say.

Last, but not least, the knowledge that no matter what happens, I will be okay. I’ve managed to make it this far, so I think my chances of being successful are pretty damn good.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 14

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….or, the Scamp is a lazy writer.

The weather in Scotland has been very very very nice lately, and that really makes it hard for me to do anything than take my book to the park and lay in the sunshine. I now understand my cat as he moves through the house following the sun. I’m crossing my fingers that this is not the only bit of good weather we have until next year, but in the meantime, it is not really making me want to sit down and get my work done.

I’m still suffering from a little lack of motivation. I need someone to kick me in the butt and glue my fingers to my keyboard and my back to my chair.

The challenge for this week is to think about why I have a blog. There are two answers to this. The first answer is that I started this when I first got accepted into the University of Edinburgh. I wanted some way to document my time living in Scotland where all of my friends and family could find it and keep up with my adventures. When I moved here 5 years ago, everyday was an adventure, every day a new experience. I had a lot to share, and was able to do a lot of new things. It was the first time I lived in another country, the first time I did substantial traveling alone, and the first time I could not just run home if something went wrong. I shared a lot of my life with the world, including being cheated on, and the very painful break-up that followed.

The second answer to why I have a blog is that this is a space for me to sort out all of the crazy things that run through my mind. I kept it going when I moved back to California for a little while, and used it as an outlet while I tried to deal with my reverse culture shock, while I tried to navigate a race war and very strict political game in higher education, and my eventual breakdown and slide into deep deep depression. This is a place where I am way too honest about how I’m feeling, what I am doing, and what I would rather be doing. While I am back in Scotland, and back to my wandering ways, life now is a lot more routine, a lot more settled then it was when I was only here for a year. I don’t always have a lot of new experiences to share, so now the writing challenges help me get my brain flowing and help me get some words on the page. I enjoy the challenges, and enjoy sitting down to work with them each week, even if I sometimes fall behind (I’m a week late with this one, and last week I did three weeks at once). When I started the Scamp Abroad 5 years ago, I never thought I would still be working on it, much less that some many people would be reading it. I’m routinely humbled when people talk about it, or mention that they’ve read it, or tell me how much they like it.

Sometimes people ask me how much longer I will keep the Scamp going. The simple answer to that is: until it stops being fun.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 10, 11 and 12

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Can you tell I’ve been in California for three weeks visiting my family?

I should be finishing my taxes. I should be fixing the statistics that my supervisor doesn’t like. I should be working on my theory chapter. I should not be eating chocolate, binge watching Sons of Anarchy and staring at a blank Word Doc. That Word Doc has been blank for three weeks. I haven’t even thought about writing. Haven’t even been motivated to sit down and try it. I don’t like that feeling. I don’t do well with the stress of not being motivated.

So, because I am not feeling motivated to write, enjoy my life for the last three weeks in photos. It is hard to be depressed when you are surrounded by family.

I know. All of the photos involve me with my Muffin. That is pretty much how I spent the three weeks. Making sure that he knows who I am since he will be 2 before I can see him again.

I  managed to beat the worst of jet lag coming back, so I’m thinking that by next week I will be back in fighting shape.

I’m going to need it since I am going to have to tackle statistics and my thesis.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 9

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Greeting from California!

The writing challenge for this week is to make a playlist of five songs to describe my week. I like this. I like music, and I often create a soundtrack for my life. I’m just warning you now that there is going to be more than five songs because I’m just having way too much fun with this. I’m going to start with Tuesday. Up first, a little 2pac

Every time I come to visit my heart space I hear this song in my head. I know that my travel day is going to be busy, but I usually get excited and can’t sleep the night before, and I never sleep on the plane, but by the time I land I have my third wind and swear I can smell real Mexican food, which makes it all worth it. I was very very very lucky and had two really easy flights with no one sitting in the seat next to me.

Song two: Estelle: American Boy

I sing this song when I land in London. It’s catchy and it makes me laugh.

Song three, Wednesday: The 1975: Chocolate

Hi my name is Kim and I am addicted to chocolate. I wasn’t as tired as I thought I would be and there was sunshine, so I was able to sit in the backyard and enjoy some vitamin D. I also went shopping with my mom and resisted the urge to buy all things chocolate. It worked…until I walked outside the store and the Girl Scouts got me with the cookies (and I already ate them while I checked my mail and had a Skype session).

Song four, Thursday: Best Friend

I spent Thursday hanging out with the little muffin and had some adventures in the neighborhood. He chats a lot more than the last time I was here, and we had a great day in the sunshine.

Song five, Friday: The Working Song

Friday was another day with the Muffin running errands and getting ready for a mega birthday bash. I picked up one of the best from the airport, another drove 5 hours to be here and I had myself a nice little reunion with the boys from Merced. I was surprised that they would come down for the party. I had a lot of fun with the Muffin going shopping for food, drinks, and party decorations. He is a good partner in crime.

Song six, Saturday:  LMFAO: Party Rock Anthem

40 people later. We partied. I got overwhelmed, got to see a lot of people that I have not seen in years, and missed out on having some tasty cake.

If I had a song for today it would be one of those sound machine recording of soothing sleep sounds. This week has worn me out. I’m almost out of the waiting room of my 20s. Who knows what will happen? I’m sad to say that I am not going to complete my list of 30 things to do before I am 30. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I really wanted to complete that list. It looks like it is now going to be 30 things to do before I’m 30 and a half.

 

 

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 7 and 8

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Week 7: Dig through your couch cushions, your purse, or the floor of your car and look at the year printed on the first coin you find. What were you doing that year?

I got the year 2015. Hmmmm. Two years ago at this time I was in Boston with one of my favorite Scotland girls. We were there during one of the worst snow storms of that year, and we had an amazing trip. She was very supportive with all that was going on at CSUF, and she left our hostel room so that I could interview with my now supervisors. She kept telling me I had nothing to be nervous about, that I would be great during the interview, and then she took me out to celebrate on our last day in Beantown.

2015 was the year my life changed. It sucked. Parts of it were really hard, and really made me question everything that I was doing with my life. My depression was really bad, and there were a few days that were a struggle. I was able to see a really good therapist at the local community centre, and I know that she had a major hand in helping me get healthy.  My 28th birthday changed all of that. I jumped out of an airplane and got a job in Scotland.

2015 was the year the wombmate got pregnant, and tomorrow we will celebrate my muffin’s 1st birthday. I was lucky enough to get to be there for the birth and his first few days in the big bad world. In three days we will be reunited for mischief and mayhem.

Week 8: When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

I like to joke that I am not really an adult yet, but I am sure I am. I’m not really sure about the first time, but the day I bought my Ford Escape was definitely a day that qualifies as an adult day for me. When my cute little Civic was totaled, I had a rental car until I got the insurance money. When I took the rental car back to the dealership, my brother-in-law and I decided to wander around a bit. A man came out to help us, and when he started talking to my bro-in-law, and when I saw Estelle, I knew I wanted her. Through the process he talked to my bro-in-law like he was in charge, but I asked to see the engine, talked about the oil changes and maintenance, and any previous accidents. Eventually he figures out that I am in charge, and although he talks to me the way a dad would talk to his daughter, he was nice. I usually let my dad handle these things, but after a quick call to him to see how low I could go on the price, I went in and negotiated everything on my own. Again, they talked to my bro-in-law first, and since that made me a little mad, I just held fast to the price I was willing to pay and then I drove home in a car that served me well for a year, and is now in the care of a good family friend.

While it seems like a silly thing to make me feel like an adult, when my dad said I did alright when he saw the car for the first time, I knew I was golden. Next year when I pay off the first of my student loans will really make me feel like an adult.

I am now getting ready for the long trip to California and the last few days of my 20s.

 

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 6

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I know it is week 7. I’m a week late with this one, but I’m going to get it done and then get this week’s taken care of tomorrow. I’m tired. I hurt. I’m stressed. I’m freezing cold all the time. I just want to get in bed and pull the covers over myself.

Yesterday I fell asleep standing up at the bus stop. Today I had a meltdown in the uni library because I cannot make anything in my life run smoothly. I couldn’t manage to copy and paste correctly. It took me three hours to do three of my thirty questions. The only process should be completed in an hour. Any normal person would complete it in that time. I’m still not done with it. I spent more time commuting between campuses than working today. This has been a pattern for the last few weeks, and I am tired. I’m really really tired. I’m at the point where I am in a bad mood. I can feel my bad mood. I can feel myself snapping at people, not making good choices, and not eating healthy.

The challenge for this week is to explain the title for my blog. A Scamp Abroad is a play on Mark Twain’s A Tramp Abroad. I love Mark Twain. I have read everything he has ever written, I wrote my undrgrad thesis on his writing style, and I like to work him into conversation whenever I can.

For the purpose of his title, a tramp is:

noun
  1. a person who travels from place to place on foot in search of work or as a vagrant or beggar.

For the purpose of my title, a scamp is:

noun

informal
  1. a person, especially a child, who is mischievous in a likeable or amusing way.
    “some little scamp stuffed tissue paper in between the hammer and the bell”
    WEST INDIAN
    a wicked or worthless person; a rogue.
    “that man was a scamp, a damn thief”

I guess either of those definition of scamp could apply to me. I’ll let the reader decide which one is more fitting. This blog started as a way to keep my family and friends entertained with the adventures I had while going to school here. In the 5 years I have been working on it it has become a hybrid travel blog, diary, place for me to share the fun things that cross my mind at any given time. I’ve shared a lot, probably way too much about my life on here, my depression, my failed relationships, stunning disasters in the professional world. I’ve shared my trips, my victories, and my family. I really don’t know what the next five years will be like, but I am sure it will be much the same.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 5

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I’m a week late. I have not been motivated to write lately. I’m tired and have been running around for data collection, meetings with students and teaching in the evening. All of this is good though. Things are progressing nicely in all of those areas, and I am feeling much better about where I am in terms of my work compared to last year at this time, and I think I am finally on a steady path. I didn’t like the writing challenge for last week, and today marks my 30 day countdown to turning 30, so I thought it was time to update the list.

16. Create a budget to pay down my student loans. Unfortunately this one involves my mom helping me out for right now. There was no way I could afford to pay that and go to therapy, so I am burdening her for a bit longer. The loan is getting paid though, and I am a couple months away from being under $10,000. I’m really excited about that.

18. Create a solid workout routine. Even though the sleep doc couldn’t really help me with my sleep issues, she did give me some ways to help my joints during the day that forces me up and around, and I found a couple of yoga classes to do before bed. My phone also has a help app that guilts me into walking around more during the day. It works, as I try to get at least an hour of walking in a day.

22. Learn to cook a fancy meal. I made my own Chinese food! Orange chicken, chow mein, and egg fried rice. The rice I cheated on, but I made everything else.

The chow mein was a little bland, so I will have to keep working on that, but it wasn’t bad for my first attempt.

With 30 days left, I still have some big things to cross off the list. I’m working on the rap song, but finding a horse and hot air balloon here is super difficult. I’ve managed to get 20 things crossed off and still have some time to work on the rest. There is one thing on the list that I realize might be hard to cross off, but I am going to remain hopeful.

20 days until sunshine.

  1. Learn how to drive in the UK.
  2. Present at an academic conference
  3. Start a new tradition
  4. Go back to therapy
  5. Visit three new countries (1/3 done with my trip to Malta, next up, France in November and Hungary in December)
  6. Ride in a hot air balloon
  7. Quit the tutoring centre
  8. Volunteer for a literacy programme
  9. Read a book that has more than 500 pages
  10. Make my bed everyday for at least three months
  11. Have a solid draft of my thesis completed
  12. Master scorpion pose
  13. Attend the symphony
  14. Learn a rap song from start to finish
  15. Host a dinner party
  16. Create a  budget so I can pay down my student loans
  17. Create something original
  18. Create a solid workout regime
  19.  Go on a long hike (6 miles or more)
  20. Learn to dance
  21. Eat an exotic meal
  22. Learn to cook a fancy meal
  23. Yell at a football match
  24. Go horseback riding
  25. Master British spelling and punctuation
  26. Create a good sleep schedule
  27. See my favorite group in concert
  28. Fall in love
  29. Stop holding grudges
  30. Let go of my expectations

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 4

Posted on by erranteditor

I’m not sure I like the challenge for this week. I’m supposed to write about my body and how I honestly feel about it. I don’t like that idea.

I got really sick in 2008. I was 107 lbs. I had crippling panic attacks, passed out in public, and was losing my hair. No one could tell me what was wrong with me, and I spent most of my time sleeping.

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I know that I don’t look horrible here, but, here is a secret, I was puffing out my stomach so I didn’t look as skinny. What you don’t see is me having to sit down after walking about fifteen or sixteen steps, or having to move really slowly. I actually see this photo and I am okay with the way I look. I look fit, even if unhealthy.

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Here is a photo of me taken in Paris a couple of months ago. In this photo, heavy jacket aside, I weigh more than I ever had. My diet is still a bit iffy, but I am healthier now than I have ever been.

But, sometimes I still see myself as chubby, or blob like. I know I am not fat. I’m not a complete nutter, but I spent so much time being sickly and underweight that I am not used to seeing myself healthy and the way that I am meant to look. I’m working on not being so ridiculous, and getting back into my regular exercise routine, but I guess at the end of the day I would much rather be the person in the second picture than the first.