writing | The Scamp Abroad

The Scamp and the Journals of Sylvia Plath

Posted on February 17, 2014 by erranteditor

One of the best parts of working in a library is stumbling across very interesting books. I often find myself getting distracted thumbing through books on art, poetry, space, and even world history. A couple of months ago, I stumbled across a collection of Sylvia Plath’s journals. They start when she was a student at Smith College, and end just before her death in 1963.

I’ve read a lot of Plath’s work, but her journals are by far the best thing she has written. She is known for her “confessional poetry”, but her journals go so much deeper than her poetry. They are honest, innocent, and show a complete decent into the horrors of depression. The early journals are full of childish insecurities about boys and school, while the later ones deal with the struggles of her marriage and the birth of her children. The last entry in the book speaks best to not only her state of mind throughout her life, but the state of her writing.

“A bad day. A bad time. State of mind most important for work. A blithe, itchy eager state where the poem itself, the story is supreme.”

I wonder what it is says about me that I am so drawn to writers and poets that are so far off the beaten path? Not many people understand the poetry of Gertrude Stein, and I feel that many people would read these journals and see nothing but sadness and melancholy.

Every now and then, though, she shows a glimmer of happiness for the world around her.

“I love people. Everybody. I love them, I think, as a stamp collector loves his collection. Every story, every incident, every bit of conversation is raw material for me. My love is not impersonal, yet not wholly subjective either. I would like to be everyone, a cripple, a dying man, a whore, and then come back to write my thoughts, my emotions, as that person. But I am not omniscient. I have to live my life, and it is the only one I’ll ever have. And you cannot regard your own life with object curiosity all the time.”

For now though, it is a nice break from the books on organizational leadership articles about content analysis and curriculum development. I don’t mind being curled up in bed reading about seemingly unimportant days in the life of a truly fascinating woman.

The Scamp Gets the Good News

Posted on October 5, 2013 by erranteditor

After months of waiting, I finally got the provisional results on my dissertation. When I heard the scores went up, I wasn’t going to look. I knew that I wasn’t going to fail, and I know that my dissertation is the best piece of academic work I have written, so I didn’t really feel the need to know the grade. Curiosity got the best of me though, and when I did look, I was happy to see that my genius was recognized and I feel my grade was in line with what I felt I had earned.

The best part of it was the comments I got were constructed. A few of the critiques were things that my supervisor asked me to do, but I would not have done on my own, and the rest of the comments were positive, and helpful for the editing process and hopefully allow me to get the piece published.

This grade completes my journey in Scotland. In a couple of weeks I will have the official results, and in 6 weeks I will graduate and be able to celebrate one of the best years of my life. The A on the paper sums up my grade of my time there (if I was going to put a grade on it). The confidence I gained from that paper will carry me to the first major assignment that I have to write for the philosophy class.

I celebrated the achievement with a mojito, and got a standing ovation from the kids I work with on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The kids were super cute about it, and then asked me to write all of their papers for them. I’m going to save the real celebration for graduation week in Scotland. I think it is best to celebrate at the Blind poet and sing karaoke.

Things have started to get really busy with school, and my new job starts soon, but right this moment, I am in a good place. I’m getting myself out of my funk, I’m learning better time management and getting things done, and I am finally starting to see the point in the philosophy class….I’d say that is progress.

Now if I could figure out how to afford insurance and make my loan payment, I would be golden.

The Scamp Completely Completes Her Dissertation

Posted on August 15, 2013 by erranteditor

Exactly 4 months after I sat at my desk in Scotland and wrote a rough outline for a potential research project, my final draft is complete. No more editing, no more counting words or triple checking references, and no more children’s literature for a long long time. As of 11:30 pm Pacific Standard Time, my labor of love is now in the hands of my readers…..or at least in the in-box of my supervisor and the secretary in the front office who is going to print my hard copies.

It is too late in the evening for me to be super excited, but I am very very very happy with the final product. I think it is some of the strongest work I have ever written, and it is much better than my last dissertation (or thesis as it is called here). Tomorrow, I will do the happy dance and try to get everyone I know to read it and tell me how awesome I am.

On the bright side, I now have 8-10 hours in my day that are free….well at least for the next 7 days. I have a stack of novels waiting for me to read them, and the weatherman tells me we are all set for a heat wave. If you listen closely, you can hear the pool calling my name.

In case anyone is dying of curiosity about what my paper is about, here is the abstract:

‘¿Como frijole?’ or ‘How you bean?’ Is Not a Greeting:

How the Use of Critical Literacy Can Raise Elementary School Teachers’ Awareness of the Picture Books they are Presenting in the Classroom

This study was aimed at adding to the field of critical literacy analysis by highlighting the importance of analyzing cultural representations of Mexico in children’s picture books. Gary Soto’s (1995) Chato’s Kitchen and Judy Schachner’s (2005) Skippyjon Jones in the Doghouse were used as two examples of how Mexican culture is represented in children’s picture books. The aim of this research is to highlight the importance of analyzing critically the picture books before they are presented to students in the classroom. Teachers can encourage cultural sensitivity among their students by choosing culturally sensitive picture books to read in the classroom. Two pages from each of the stories were analyzed with special attention given to how the authors and illustrators used color, texture, layout and characters to represent Mexican culture. In addition to the visual text, I analyzed how the use of Spanish words affected the representation of Mexican culture.

This study starts with a review of critical pedagogy, critical literacy analysis, and critical media analysis. Important research and scholars are highlighted, as well as the definition of critical literacy analysis that was utilized for the purpose of this study. Because picture books are analyzed, literature on children’s literature and picture books was also analyzed. The study concludes with a reflexive discussion on the importance of content and analysis and action research, as well as how the example of analysis used in this study can be used to analyze cultural representation in any picture book. I conclude with a reflection on the importance of using critical literacy analysis to encourage cultural sensitivity.

If that isn’t enough, I’ll even show you the pages that I analyzed.

Skippyjon Jones in the Doghouse

Chato’s Kitchen

If that doesn’t tickle your fancy, then use it as a cure for insomnia. I promise that Chapter Two will put you to sleep before you can finish reading about critical literacy analysis.

I would like to thank my family and friends for letting me sit in my office with my headphones on and ignore them, for feeding me and entertaining me on breaks, pretending to understand what I was writing about ,and to my mommy for reading the whole thing to make sure all the commas were in place and all the words were in a proper order.

The Scamp’s Favorite Word

Posted on August 2, 2013 by erranteditor

Wanderlust: my favorite word in the human language. I’ve always suffered from a severe case of it (although, I do not see it as suffering in the least) and wasted no time getting out and about in the world once I graduated high school. Every three to four years I’ve looked for the next adventure. I just came back from my adventure, and should be good for the next three years, but right now I am itching for a a new destination.

I’m not doing so well at home. I came home a different person. I had a plan. I was happy, I had worked through the worst of my break-up, worked through some of my fucked up emotional issues, and I was a girl on a mission. I came home and fell right back into my old habits. I’m grouchy most of the time, I am not being a great friend, and I have yet to find a job so I can pay my bills. Right now, the most adventurous I get is driving to the gym every day. I can hear my Scottish therapist’s voice in my head telling me what to do, and how to change my thinking, but for some reason my brain is not fully processing the message. Part of me wants to blame the fact that I have been working nonstop on my dissertation for the last four months, but now that I am just about done, I have no excuse for the “piss off” attitude I have been carrying around. I’m going to really have to beat feet to get some insurance soon so that I can get myself back into therapy in case I can’t get myself out of my funk.

That is the logical step instead of quitting the program before I have really started and becoming an Alpaca farmer in New Zealand….I have a feeling Alpacas wouldn’t like me, and I don’t like the idea that my cat would have to be quarantined for so long, so I guess I will have to put that dream on hold…at least for the next three years while I finish my program. The great thing about going to an international school is that I met people from every corner of the globe, so now when I am feeling restless, and my finances will allow me, I am can pick a spot, see people that I really care about, and have an adventure with them in their homelands.

For now though, my adventure will come from my desk and a classroom. I’m about to start a grueling school schedule with a lot of late nights spent reading, and mornings spent writing. I only had 15,000 words to write for this paper (I say only, but it was a lot) and the next project has to be in the line of 100,000 words, which means a lot of time sitting in my office, or the library looking at the Berry and pretending to write.

Given that no more work is going to get done today, I am going to nerd out with a travel book and think about my next destination.

The Scamp Visits the Library

Posted on July 16, 2013 by erranteditor

When I got robbed at Christmas, one of the things that was taken from me was the book that I am using for my dissertation. It was written by a well known author and poet, and not hard to find, but because it isn’t in print anymore, the copies of the book are quite expensive. Since I didn’t get any money from insurance (all of that went to the robot) I did not replace my copy.

Thank sweet baby Jesus for public libraries.

The La Habra library had a copy of the book, and a quick search of the database this morning let me know that the copy was available. The mama and I went over to the library this morning to get the book so I can start the analysis of part of my project. I love the La Habra library. I grew up there. I volunteered for a literacy organization that operated out of the conference room there. I worked there for four years while I was in high school. I have read most of the books on the shelves.

When we went in today, I knew exactly where the book was going to be. I started my library career in charge of maintaining the children’s section, and since the layout of the library hasn’t changed in 20 years, I just about knew what shelf the book would be on. When I got to the shelf though….no book. Since the books are shelved in alphabetical order by author, I knew I was in the right section. I looked through the books on the shelf thinking maybe it was just stuck between other books (after all, not every little kid in this city…or some adults for that matter, understand the alphabet).

Nothing. I knew from my earlier search that there are copies of the book at most of the libraries in Orange County, and getting a copy wouldn’t be a problem, but I was there, and I really didn’t want to have to shelp across town to another library. Since I have so much experience in libraries, I looked on the surrounding shelves and finally found the book, not shelves with the SOT books, but with the SHI books.

Really?

If it was just Chato’s Kitchen that was in mis-shelved, I would have been okay. The problem was though, all of Gary Soto’s books were shelved there, suggesting that the library page re-shelving the books did not properly learn their ABCs. This both annoys me and makes me laugh because I was fired from the library when I was a senior in high school because the head librarian was convinced that I didn’t know how to read the numbers on the books. She thought the disorganization and chaos that plagued the library was due to me, and had nothing to do with the fact that many people in the city are barely literate in their first language let alone English and had no concept of the Dewey decimal system, or that the library is down the street from the local middle school and the kids like to hang out there after school and mess up shelves and basically run amok in the stacks. Nooooooooooooooooooooooo, it was my fault. When I left she suggested I get my eyes checked for a possible deficiency.

I cried in my car when it happened, but it has since because one of the better jokes in my family. I even wrote a short story about it for a creative writing class in college. To this day, I still consider it some of my best work.

I’m happy that I found the book, and that I can move into the next phase of my project, but I am still stressing a bit about the time. I haven’t heard from my supervisor in a week, and since she has yet to look over my literature review, I am a bit worried. I have about two weeks left before I need to be done writing and on to final edits and proofreading. With the final deadline fast approaching I am about to become even more of a hermit than I already am.

I will be very happy when this paper is done.

The Scamp and Fast Cars and Freedom

Posted on June 25, 2013 by erranteditor

When the cat’s away, the mice will play….or at least that it my motto for the next 24 hours. My mom was nice enough to accompany my dad to the mountains to do a little work on the cabin (I like to think the world revolves around me, so her choice to go was to help me out). That’s right, this girl has the house to herself until tomorrow morning. That means I don’t have to wear my headphones to listen to music while I work, I won’t be distracted by the TV, or have to hide from baseball, and the best part of being alone overnight:

I don’t have to wear pants.

…and now a quick pause for my happy dance

I wish I could say that I am spending the day lounging by the pool or laying on the couch watching TV. Instead I am locked to my desk (well, the desk I have now claimed as mine) trying to write the introduction to my dissertation. I’m about 2,000 words in, and I have to say, I think it is complete rubbish. Luckily it does not have to be a perfect little gem right now. I have to say it is nice to be able to take a break from doing research and reading other people’s writing. I’ve been reading some crap studies lately. The only good thing about that is that it gives me hope that someone will actually want to publish my work. I currently have 3,000 words written, which means I am only 12,000 from my goal. I got a little distracted today with a trip to the gym, and currently Top Gear U.K. has my attention, so it might be time to call it a day on the writing.

I am going to spend the evening trying to rearrange my room and clean it up. Right now it is full of boxes, shoes and books on teaching, and that is making it hard for me to focus. Right now, I need all the focus I can get. I have been home for about a month and have yet to settle into a normal sleep schedule, and have yet to secure gainful employment. I’m starting to feel like this:

I know this will change…in fact, I am hoping that it changes on Thursday. I finally managed to get an interview for an instructor position at Fullerton college. Hopefully they will be dazzled by my wits and my red pen and they will hire me on the spot. I have a lot of bills to pay, and would like to have some money coming in to pay those down. My mom told me the other day that she would like me to keep living with them until I pay off my loans, but since it will be at least 10 years before that happens, I can’t see that happening. I have no desire to stay in the U.S. after I graduate…..especially when New Zealand needs English teachers and I could supplement my income by working at a place like this:

http://www.sheepworldfarm.co.nz/

Really, that would be enough to cure my wanderlust for awhile.

A Scamp and the Never Ending Outline

Posted on June 25, 2013 by erranteditor

I don’t like outlines. I never make them. I like to take my William Faulkneresq stream of consciousness writing style and clean it up into the pretty little gems that eventually get turned in. I will admit that several of those gems were a bit rough before the editing stage, but I have survived my entire educational career without making an outline.

The writing class that I was forced to take for the doctoral program was all about formulaic writing….and making outlines. 2 outlines per paper….yes 2. One outline for the beginning of the paper, and a reverse outline at the end of the paper to make sure that we did everything we mapped out in the first outline.

Shoot me now.

I know that I teach my little future leaders to make outlines and do whatever they can to make their drafts easy to write, but I really hate doing them myself. The only good thing about not enjoying making outlines is that I am not alone. I would have never dared say anything in class about it, but one of the guys in the program raised his hand and actually asked what the purpose of making several outlines was. I believe he is a vice principal, and probably in his late 40s, so I figure, if he hates outlines, then it is okay for me to hate them too.

I didn’t have long to sit in my hatred though. My adviser in Scotland asked me to make an outline and a timetable for my dissertation. I am a little bit behind in the writing portion of the project, but I sat for the last two days and made a very pretty (okay, it is not pretty at all, it is actually mostly bullshit) outline and sent it to her. I am still slugging through the literature review, so I think tomorrow I am going to switch gears and work on my introduction.

It will be much easier for me to expel bullshit out of my fingertips when I am writing about myself and my interest in the research. Should anyone want to know about critical literacy, and how to use it in the classroom, or feels the need to talk about children’s literature, feel free to come my direction. I’m 57 articles and 20 books in to these subjects.

I’m practically an expert.

In the meantime, I am going to channel my need for naps into going to the gym to work out. If I have to go dateless to a wedding attended by my ex-boyfriend, then I am going to make sure I look damn good.

Of course, this always gets in my way:

A Scamp in Denial

Posted on September 1, 2012 by erranteditor

I had a plan. When I started this blog I had decided that I was going to chronicle my adventures leading up to Scotland, and then chronicle every detail of my life in Scotland. The last time I posted was a month ago, and with only 4 days until I leave, I did not do a very good job of recording the journey. The best reason I can give for that is that I am in denial. The big day sorta crept up on me, and I have run out of time.

I’m in denial of the fact that I leave on Tuesday. Complete and total denial. I’m not done packing, I keep sneaking shoes into the bag, and I didn’t even plan a goodbye party. I have been trying to scatter around town and see everyone before I go, but so far I am not doing such a great job. Instead of dwelling on that (or finishing the packing that needs to be done) I am going to lay on my bed and watch old episodes of Warehouse 13. That sounds like a good time to me.