It is 7:35 am in Scotland. I have been trying to sleep since midnight. Nothing is working. I tried yoga, I tried listening to my favorite Chet Baker album, I tried watching movies, I tried meditating, I tried to shut off my brain. For some reason, none of that worked. I took my sleeping pill (which I think I should get a refund on), but no sleep came. I’m worried about my papers. I have two of them that still need to be done, and so far, I have only written 1,000 words. That is not nearly enough to be on track for the deadlines. I’m tired, and in being tired I have lost my motivation. Everything I type seems pedantic, and I get distracted by shiny objects and bad movies on youtube, Even now, I have moved off this page several times to watch bits of West Wing. I am even trying to work on my papers, but quickly gave that up because I am sure that whatever I write right now will sound completely insane. I’d rather take notes and try to put things on paper so that I can go over them in a few hours after what promises to be a shitty meal and possibly a nap.
I have 4 hours until I am supposed to be at brunch. In 10 minutes my alarm will go off and I should be getting out of bed to get some work done. I think I may reset the alarm and try and take a nap before brunch. In truth, what I will end up doing is going over a book and taking notes for the paper. and trying to figure out how to move to part two. I’ll also send part of it to my mother so that she can help me rewrite it so it fits the prompt.
David’s mom is a well respected sleep doctor. She joked to me before I left that she knew a great sleep doctor that could help me work out my sleep issues…..maybe I should have taken her up on that.