While I drive myself crazy waiting for my parents to get here, I made an important life decision. I have decided that money be damned, I will be joining the 6th cohort of the Doctorate of Education in Educational Leadership with a specialization in Community College at California State University, Fullerton. I was offered a spot in the 5th cohort and turned it down last year to come here, and while I was here I did a lot of wavering about whether or not I would apply for re-admission. When things with David started to fall apart I thought about putting the degree on hold all together and moving to San Diego to be with him.
The thing is, I loved (well, still love, but I’m working on getting over that) him, but I really want to pursue this degree. I want to teach at the community college level, want to eventually run a writing program at one, and while I can easily do that without an advanced degree, I feel like this program will help give me some tools before I dive head first into the working world. I like being in school, and like being a student. The three degrees that I have now will make me a better teacher, but this degree will make me a better leader. This degree will help me better understand what happens outside of the classroom, and allow me to sharpen my skills as I prepare for total community college world domination.
I’m paying on a massive loan that I took out to pay for this adventure, and part of me is worried about the finance part of this degree. I am going to have to pray that FAFSA comes through and offers me some help, and that in the next few months while I am not working on my dissertation, I can work on finding some money and grants that will help me pay for the next three years ( I joke that I am going to start looking for strip clubs that will hire me, but at this point, I am really looking into the possibility).
Part of me is still hesitant to come home and face all of the things that being home means. I used to joke with David that if we ever broke up I would never return to the US. Part of me still has that thought in the back of my mind. My visa is still good here for another year, and I am sure there are plenty of places that could use a smart mouthed English teacher. I also have thoughts of running away to New Zealand or going back to Australia and hiding out in the sunshine. Ultimately I know that I don’t really want to be that far from my family, and that things will fall into place when I go home, but part of me can’t help but wonder what kind of adventure could be out there waiting for me if I didn’t go home.
In the meantime, feel free to send me advice on places to find money, and get ready to call me Dr. Scamp.