I now only have 30 days left in Scotland. A few months ago I was counting down the days until I was back in California, and now, despite the fact that I am returning to sunshine and flip flops, I find myself reluctant to return. In truth, this is the first place that I have lived in the last five years that I am sad to leave. I really feel like this is my home now, and this is the place that I would like to settle down in. Even on my worst days with the undergrads, that did not taint my view of the city. This is the place where I nursed my broken heart, where I met some amazing people, and where I learned how to be a proper adult. I look at the PhD program as a three stay in California before I return here. I talked about this with my mom while she was here, and so far she seems to be okay with it.
I have no idea what will happen in the next few years, and no idea if I will actually return to Scotland to settle down. Right now though, it seems like a really good idea. Dr. Scamp could make a killing selling her wisdom here. Scottish people love me.
The city is so wonderful. I felt “at home” heading to the hotel from the airport and it was only my second visit. I totally understand not wanting to leave. I always support you. Maybe it is selfishness on my part. I would have a reason to come back.