Letter to the Spoiled Bulkhead Brat:
I realize now that you think you are the only one on a crowded flight. I understand that because you are sitting at the bulkhead, there is no one sitting in front of you. I completely understand that because no one is in front of you you forget that there are in fact people sitting behind you. See, what you don’t seem to understand is that the people behind you do not want to have to spend nine hours with you reclined in their lap, or have to refuse dinner because they do not have enough room to get the tray table down. While it is not your fault that British Airways cares more about making money than the comfort of their economy customers, ignoring my request to get out of my lap, and acting like you are the only person who wants to comfortable is something that you can control.
You see, I would love to be comfortable. People with Lupus often have a hard time flying because of all the swelling that goes on. It often makes sitting very uncomfortable. I would love to be able to stretch out and recline, but unlike you, my mother taught me that I am not the center of the universe, and that in situations like a nine hour flight, you have to be considerate of those around you.
I’m ashamed to admit that although my mother taught me manners and the art of basic human courtesy, and my seat has remained in the fully upright position for the comfort of the woman behind me, I have spent the better part of the last 5 hours with my knees pressed into the back of your seat to keep you from being able to recline. I’ve pushed extra hard on the screen to watch movies, shift and readjusted my knees every 20 minutes, and generally tried to make you life miserable. I’ve made passive aggressive comments while standing in front of you waiting for the toilet. After ignoring my request, you have called the stewardess to ‘mediate’ the situation. When she asked me if I was okay with you reclining, I practically shouted “Fuck no! I didn’t pay to have her in my lap” because I knew that you would hear, and so would the people around us.
I’m sorry. Not to you. You can suck my metaphorical dick….in fact, I hope you choke on it. No, I am apologizing to my mother who not only raised me better, but would be ashamed of the way I acted. I’m a 29 year old adult, not a 10 year old child. With two hours left in the flight, and no sleep or comfort in sight, I am going to try and be considerate of those around me and keep my knees to myself.
Yours with eternal scorn and hate fire,
The girl in 27H