I’m home. I’m very happy about it. I loved every second of my time in the States, but I feel like the best version of me when I am in Edinburgh, so it feels really really really good to be home. I can’t believe it will be 365 days before I see most of my family again, but I cannot wait to celebrate my 30th birthday, and my nephew’s 1st birthday. That will be worth all the little things I miss being so far away from him. I’ve managed to miss a week of the writing challenge since I spent the end of my trip in Texas, where writing was not my top priority.
Week 10 is dedicated to my favourite quote. That is an easy one.
“Travel changes you. As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life – and travel – leaves marks on you. Most of the time, those marks – on your body or on your heart – are beautiful. Often, though, they hurt.”
― Anthony Bourdain, The Nasty Bits: Collected Varietal Cuts, Usable Trim, Scraps, and Bones
I live my life punctuated by the trips that I get to take. It took me ten years to be comfortable with my wanderlust ways, and once I did, life became infinitely better for me. I take in all of the things I learn when I am traveling (or when I’ve moved to a new place) and let it become a part of me. Some of those things hurt, and they hurt a lot, but more often than not, what I take away from my wanderlust ways is beautiful. Even though I have just come back from the States, I am already itching to plan my next trip….I’m thinking Norway, or Paris, or Malta…or all of the above. Someone is going to have to monitor my credit card.
Week 11 is dedicated to something that I think is holding me back.
This one is a little bit harder to nail down. I think my fear of what others think holds me back a lot. I still have some unresolved PTSD and crazy abandonment issues, and until I really sort through those, I think I am very hesitant to make certain choices in my life. My writing is stalled, conferences and travel options aren’t always taken, and I spend a lot of time trying to please others. With the PhD, and a lot of exciting opportunities coming my way, the fear that holds me back could really hurt my timeline. I need to really learn to stop thinking about what others think and start making choices that are best for me. I did it once when I packed up and moved back to Scotland, but I’m not sure I can keep that trend going.
Although I have been 29 for 10 days, I have yet to make my list of 30 things I would like to do before I am 30. I’m stilling working on that, but I promise it will be done soon so I can start ticking things off of it. I think the first one might be to go back to therapy and work on some of my obvious issues.