Author: erranteditor

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 24

Posted on by erranteditor

It is going to be hard to top yesterday’s hilarious story from the kids, but I dedicated to the weekly challenge.

Like last week’s challenge, I am having a hard time thinking of what to write for this one. This week’s challenge is to write about the last new thing that I tried.

Nothing comes to mind. My life right now is pretty boring. An all work and no play type of thing. I’m currently in the middle of trying to finish a draft of a paper up for publication, write a report that will advance me to a proper PhD candidate, and work on two separate papers with two other research assistants to bolster my CV and hopefully get accepted at a couple of conferences (one of which is in Wales. I’ve never been to Wales.). All I can think about is the amount of work that needs to be done, and the amount of time that I have spent watching cat videos on YouTube because I’m looking for an excuse not to write.

I think this post would better suit me in a couple of weeks when I get my first solo presentation at a well respected academic conference. I am so excited for my three minute ‘nano presentation’. The paper being presented will be done by then (hopefully) and I will get a chance to razzle dazzle the crowd in sunny Manchester. This is an extension conference from the one that I attended almost a year ago, and this time when I get there, I will already know some people going. Seeing the familiar faces in the crowd will make it easier to present as well.I got a bit of practice in short presentations this week when another research and I presented a poster at the 2016 Edinburgh Napier Research Conference. The poster we presented is not what I will be presenting at the end of the month, but it was good to practice talking with people and trying to be short and sweet about it. My supervisor liked the poster we made as well, which was an extra cherry on my phone little academic sundae.

This month has been a real struggle for me. The weather has me feeling down, a lot of deadlines are fast approaching, and it has been a long time since I had an adventure, so I am starting to feel very antsy.

Maybe the weather will improve for next week and I can write all of these reports and finish all of these drafts while getting some sunshine as well. I miss sunshine.

The Scamp and Her Creative Writers

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I know that I spend a lot of my time complaining about the tutoring centre, but today was one of those days that I enjoyed my shift. The kids I work with in the evening are learning how to write stories, and tonight they learned about conflicts and resolutions. We worked as a group to create a story. Each child wrote one paragraph of the story. The kids had to write a conflict in one paragraph, and the next kid in the group had to write a resolution. All of the conflicts were selected after the kids rolled a die and found the matching number on a game board with a conflict that might happen in the rainforest. I’m not supposed to share this, but here is the story that my little darlings wrote.

*It is also important to note that at one point one of the kids was trying to give me the next resolution and he said, “then I shot myself with a cloning gun”, but what me, the centre director and another tutor heard was, “then I shit myself with a cloning gun”

Here is the story. The parts in red are the conflicts, and the parts in black are the resolutions.

The group set off from camp at first light, hoping to spot some of their favourite plants and animals. Sam stayed near the front of the group following the guide.

All of a sudden a spider drops from the tree and lands on Sam. The spider bites Sam on the cheek.

Then a parrot swoops down and steals the group’s map. Without the map the group are turned into a bunch of confused Tellietubbies with no brain. 

Super Kim comes down from the sky and drop-kicks the parrot. She then throws the map at Po’s face.

An endangered butterfly flies by and drinks all of the group’s water. A swarm of ants start crawling up their legs.

Super Kim jumps down from her favourite tree and throws water on the ants. Now that they are gone, the group keeps walking until they find a lovely waterfall. 

A spider monkey throws a banana and hits the guide in the head knocking him out. Now the group is lost in the rainforest. 

Super Kim eats the banana and becomes Kim Kong! Kim Kong is so big that she can see over the tops of the trees and guide the group back to camp.

Kim Kong picks up the guide and carries him back to camp. When they get there, the group all eats the magic bananas and go from Tellietubbies to Kongs! The End. 

 

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 23

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The challenge for this week is to wax poetic about my best quality.

Nothing comes to mind.

I guess I am really good at putting everyone’s needs above my own. I bend over backwards for others, do everything to make sure they are happy and have their needs met, even if it means that I have to be inconvenienced.

I’m good at being negative.

I am grouchy. I’ve been grouchy for the last few days. I have a lot of work to do. I have done nothing today. My flat is clean. That is about it.

I’ve been alone too long today. I’ve been wasting all the progress in therapy by letting autopilot take over and let all the negative thoughts come through.

I want someone to come give me a hug and some chocolate and sit with me until I feel better. I want my kitty.

So now, because I am being negative, I have been given an assignment with three basic questions that need to be answered.

  1. What are the last three nice things I’ve done for someone, why I did them, and how did they contribute to their lives?

              1. Yesterday one of the kids in the tutoring centre was having an epic meltdown. He                  is autistic, no more than 7 years old, and I’m not sure why, but yesterday was not                   his day. He started throwing things, knocking over chairs and trashcans, and                           kicking up a really good fuss. I’ve never seen the centre so when the AD was just                     getting frustrated trying to calm him down, I tried to see if I could get him calm. I                   got him to sit down, and for about 3 minutes he was okay. I got kicked a few times                  and then scolded by the AD for not helping the children who I was supposed to be                  tutoring, but for those three minutes, the poor little kid was calm in the middle of                  his storm.  I’m not sure that did anything to contribute to his life, but he seemed                   like he needed someone to talk to him calmly, someone to acknowledge that he                       was having a bad day and just needed some understanding.

          2. A week, maybe two weeks ago, I made some Powerpoints for my friend/colleague. I             did because I knew that he had a lot on his plate and he needed the help. I figured it               was easy for me to do, wouldn’t take me that long, and I was majorly procrastinating            on my own work. The workshop went off without a hitch, so I am assuming that I                    made his life a little bit easier. It also means that the next time he runs the workshop            he will already have the materials ready to go.

        3. I cancelled plans with the boy so that he could relax before his set of shifts. I was                  looking forward to dinner and a movie, but he mentioned he was tired and feeling                  cranky, so I asked if I could stop by for a cup of tea and some chat instead. I did it                   because I knew he had a rough set of shifts ahead, because he would be cranky if we               went out, and because I am a codependent doormat who wants to please everyone                  happy even if it means putting my needs second. I know that it was easier for him                  because he told me it was, and I really enjoyed the tea and the chat that we had.

2. What are three nice things that people have done for me lately? Why did they do them and how do they contribute to my life?

         1. My mom sent me a care package full of goodies that I miss from California. I got tortillas and peanut butter snacks and trial mix. She also included a card that told me she was proud of me and that she loved me. I know she did it because I have been having a rough go with my depression. It made me feel great, and now I have tortillas to make quesadillas with when I am sad. It is the little acknowledgement that she cares about me that is the nice part.

2. I got a Skype call yesterday after work. This is one of my best friends. She called me because she was feeling a bit blue, but she let me rant, be cranky, and never once told me that I was being silly or irrational. I got to listen to her, and by the end of the conversation both of us were feeling better. It was nice because it was acknowledgment that someone cared about me to check in, and someone thought of me when they wanted some comfort.

3. My friend/colleague/partner in hijinks let me invade is flat this week so that I could make margaritas and quesadillas to work on a paper. He also got approval for me to work with him on a project that finally allows me to do something in the office other than be the token PhD student. Maybe I might eventually get paid for doing the work. For now though, I am grateful for the chance to work on a fun project and do something useful.

3. What is something that I care about that I regularly contribute to.

      Ummmmmmm…….this one is a tough one. I think this blog is the one thing that I contribute to regularly. I make sure that at least once a week I sit down and write something. A lot of time the posts are meant to make me feel better. Last year I did the gratitude challenge to help with the dark and twisty, and a lot of the post for this challenge are also meant to remind me of the good things in my life. Usually by the time I finished writing I feel a lot better. Even when the posts are sad or mopey, usually I get a comment or a note from one of the readers saying something nice or sharing a similar experience. I enjoy that moment of connection with people I only know through writing.

Reflection: What is the strongest conclusion that I can objectively come to based on the answers that I provided.

I guess what I could say is that my best quality is probably that no matter what, I seem to be a magnet for really great people. My friends and family are pretty great, even when I get into one of the dark and twisty moods and only see the negatives. These are the people that send me care packages and cat videos, pay my bills so I can quit my job, and remind me that despite the best efforts of my brain, I am not a broken toy.

 

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 22

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Sunshine! There is actual sunshine. I’ve seen the sun every day this week. I wore shorts on Tuesday. I brought only a light jacket with me today. I might actually get to see summer. My legs might actually get a tan.

This has been a long week of avoiding work as much as possible. I’m in the middle of interview transcription, and I hate it. I hate listening to my own voice, and it will take me about 6 hours to transcribe a 1 hour interview (okay, a lot longer than 6 hours because I am slow, I get bored, and often can only work ten minutes at a time before I get frustrated).  I am trying to keep things with the PhD progressing, and for the moment, things are a bit slow, but still moving. I’ve got a meeting set up for the end of the month to officially grant me PhD status, so now the draft of the paper I am writing needs to really be completed, and I have to write up everything that I have done for the last year, and hope that the committee feels that it has been enough to demonstrate that I am capable of completing two more years of study. In 17 days I will celebrate one year of living in Scotland, and in a little less than two months, I will have officially completed my first year of study.

I’m not sure where the time has gone.

The challenge for this week is to write about the place I currently call home.

If only I hadn’t sat down to write this with only 20 minutes before a meeting on what it is like to be an international student at Edinburgh Napier. I could write pages and pages and pages about Edinburgh, and what it means to live here. I’ve said it many times, both when I lived here three years ago, when I went back to California for a bit, and now that I am here: Edinburgh is the first place I have ever felt at home. For someone who spend a lot of time with words, I’m not really sure there are words that really cover how much I love it here. Moving here has been the most selfish thing I have ever done, and it is a choice that I would make over and over again. This city saved my life.

I think one of my favourite things about living here is the people that I get to meet. This is such an international city. I’m constantly surrounded by accents….and not just Scottish ones. It seems like this city is a magnet for people from all over the world. Everyone sounds different, and I love meeting people who have been living here for many years and have started to develop a hybrid Scottish/home accent. I hope that I live here long enough for that to happen to me. Even in the last year I notice that I have picked up vocabulary and phrases that are only said here.

4 years ago I got off a plane with my mom for a four day adventure that would determine the rest of my life. I applied and said yes for a position at the University of Edinburgh (but waited until I got to Scotland to tell my mom that I accepted), and scheduled a campus tour. I knew when I stepped off the plane that I was going to move here and love it. We went to the zoo, navigated the bus system, and realized that it would be very easy (and very safe for me to live here on my own. I spent the next four months preparing for the move (and starting this blog). Once I was here I made friends, learned how to walk everywhere and anywhere, and explored every inch of this city.

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PRC and I had a lot of good times here, and I wrote the best piece of academic work I have produced to date from the education that I got here. Anyone who has been a long time reader knows that returning to California was the hardest thing I have ever done, and that my transition back to American living did not go well at all. A lot of times the only thing that kept me going was the thought that I was getting the EdD with the soul intention of coming back here to live and work.

This time around I’m living in a great flat near the water, I’m dating a nice guy (although cultural communication brings its own fun challenges) and have made some lovely new friends to go along with the ones I have loved so dearly for the last four years. Many of the people that stay in contact with regularly are the ones that I have met here and have moved to other parts of the world.

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This is my front yard as it were. I catch the bus from here, and it drops me off at night right in front of my building. While there are some days that I miss driving, I can walk or take the bus to everything that I need or want. I’m already planning some trips that will take me around Europe, and even on my worst days here, it is still happening in Scotland. I’m hoping that in 6 years when my student visa runs out I will be able to get a work visa, or at least apply to become a permanent resident. I’m not leaving unless the government forces me to.

The Scamp Crosses One off the List

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Saturday I quit my job.

I’ve finally gotten to the point where I had enough. I’ve been miserable for months, but feel that I had to keep working there so I could pay my bills. With my depression as bad as it is lately, the only way I have a chance to get better is to get rid of the stress in my life.

That is one major stress that I cannot wait to get rid of. Unfortunately the centre requires 30 days notice. The end is in sight though.

In a perfect world they will tell me they don’t need me. In a perfect world I won’t have to work six hours and have to beg for a break.  June 25th cannot come soon enough.

  1. Learn how to drive in the UK.
  2. Present at an academic conference
  3. Start a new tradition
  4. Go back to therapy
  5. Visit three new countries
  6. Ride in a hot air balloon
  7. Quit the tutoring centre
  8. Volunteer for a literacy programme
  9. Read a book that has more than 500 pages
  10. Make my bed everyday for at least three months
  11. Have a solid draft of my thesis completed
  12. Master scorpion pose
  13. Attend the symphony
  14. Learn a rap song from start to finish
  15. Host a dinner party
  16. Create a  budget so I can pay down my student loans
  17. Create something original
  18. Create a solid workout regime
  19.  Go on a long hike (6 miles or more)
  20. Learn to dance
  21. Eat an exotic meal
  22. Learn to cook a fancy meal
  23. Yell at a football match
  24. Go horseback riding
  25. Master British spelling and punctuation
  26. Create a good sleep schedule
  27. See my favorite group in concert
  28. Fall in love
  29. Stop holding grudges
  30. Let go of my expectations

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 22

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I saw a bit of summer yesterday.

For about ten minutes.

Today it is cold again. It will probably rain. I will be sorely tempted to crawl back in bed and not be a productive member of society (okay, it is 2 pm here and I am tempted to do just that). I’m sitting in the local library working on a draft of my paper, writing a speech for a lecture I am hosting on Thursday, and generally avoiding work that needs to be done but I know will be boring and tedious.

I think it may be time for me to stop talking about planning a short trip somewhere and actually plan that short trip somewhere.

The focus of the challenge this week is to write about the last bad day I had. There are many ways I could take that. The last bad day in regards to my health, the last bad day at work, the last bad day I created….the possibilities are endless.

I think the last bad day I had was a month ago. The dark and twisty had gotten really dark and really twisty. I was sad, really tired, and just not feeling like myself. I was getting no work done, making the boy’s life miserable, and generally just being doom and gloom.

That day was horrible. I spent the day working from a friend’s house. I say working, but really, I spent the day crying, being sad, and just wanting cuddles. I didn’t eat, barely slept, and spent the day trying to figure out why I was such a horrible person. Turns out, that bad day was also a very good day for me. It was the universe smacking me upside the head and telling me it was time to stop being a baby and get some real help. I found a therapist that did not have an 8 week wait list, made a list of things that had to be done, and projects that were not as dire, and had a long talk with the boy about my depression.

The outcome of that bad day led me to a good doc, and some appointments with the GP to make sure there isn’t something more serious going on, a really good cry, and not only a good chat with the boy, but some major effort and understanding on his part to be a better boyfriend. The fact that the last bad day was a month ago also makes me feel that I am taking the right steps to get healthy, and that so far, things seem to be working out.

Now, if only I could use that feeling to motivate me enough to transcribe a 2 hour interview with a guy who started every answer with ‘there are two parts to my answer’ without ever actually answering my questions.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 20

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On this day three years ago I was greeted at the airport with a sign that said “Welcome Home Shithead”

I’d finished my coursework for my MSc, had three months to write my dissertation before starting the EdD programme, and had a lot of sunshine to catch up on. My dissertation became my full time job, with breaks for the pool and the gym. I was experiencing reverse culture shock in a major way, and coming off the terrible break-up with David, I was very unsure about my future.

Flash forward to today: I’m sitting on the window ledge in the flat of one of my best friends in Scotland. We have been doing buddy work from home Friday for the last few weeks. I’ve finished a second draft of a paper for my thesis, I have a therapy appointment in a couple of hours, and a study date with the boy this evening.  In 30 days I will celebrate my 1 year anniversary living in Scotland, and will be getting ready for my official transfer of title making me the very first PhD in education at Edinburgh Napier University.

The writing challenge for this week is to think about the ways I have changed in the last year. To be honest, I am not sure I have enough time or space to write about how I have changed in the last year. This time last year I was getting ready to say goodbye to the US. I was packing for Spain and Portugal, I was shipping boxes to Scotland to be here when I arrived, and I was not feeling depressed at all. I thought that all of my problems were solved because I was moving back to the one place in this world that I ever felt like home. I thought I had worked through my issues with the EdD. program, thought I was done with therapy, and thought that I was ready to tackle the world on my own. I was cocky, and living in a bit of a fantasy land.

Today I know that moving doesn’t always solve all your problems, but that they are much easier to deal with when you are happy where you live. I’m not as cocky, and while I still think I can tackle the world, I’ve learned that it is a lot more fun to do with the help and support of others. I’m more open about my depression, and the work that I am doing to manage my symptoms. I’m more open about needing help. I’m learning that it is important not to stop therapy when you feel like you are feeling better, but rather keep going, and keep working on myself so that those good feelings last a lot longer than the bad ones. I learned how to play the political game, which is serving me well this time around.

I’ve changed physically as well. I’ve added 5 tattoos to my body, I’m whiter than I have ever been, and I weigh more now than I ever have. While those last two bother me a bit, I am hoping that with summer just around the corner I can add some color to my skin. The weight bothers me, but as the boy has pointed out, he clearly likes the way I look, and that means I am probably the healthiest I have ever been. While I am very much still a work in progress, I am definitely headed in the right direction. I’d say that have learned so much about myself and the world in the last year that I have undoubtedly become a better person.

I really like the idea that I become a better person with the passing of each new year. I can get behind an idea like that.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 19

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The sun is out. The sun is out and I am outside writing while the boyfriend studies for his exam. I am in a dress. My legs are exposed and getting some much needed colour. I’ve taken the last few days off of really doing anything work related, partly because I am lazy, and partly because I am tired and needed the break. Eventually I will get along to doing some work, but for right now, I think that enjoying the sunshine is the most important thing I could be doing for my health.

And this. This bit of writing is good for me. If nothing else, I can say that I did do some writing today. This week the challenge is fun. It is dedicated to a dream that I just can’t give up on. I have a few dreams that I am not ready to give up on, and seeing how I am only 29, I still have loads of time to make them happen.

The first one is making a living traveling. I would love to b paid to write and travel. I cannot think of a better way to spend my days than going on adventures in new places, meeting new people and experiencing the world. I was having a chat on the bus ride home last night with one of the assistant managers of the tutoring centre. We got to talking about traveling and why we want to see the world, and it turns out we both really just like to learn as much as we can about the world by actually being a part of it and interacting with it. It is nice to meet people like this. One of the things I struggled with the most when I first returned to the States three years ago was that people did not really understand my need for adventure and my love of living overseas. Some people that I had been friends with for years just couldn’t understand why I wanted a life outside our little city. It was tough. I struggled a lot with my identity, and the expectations I thought I had to live up to by returning. Through therapy I was able to come to terms with my janky thinking, and really love this adventurous part of me. Now I can’t wait to ride an elephant in Bali, spit off the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and swim in the crystal clear water of the Maldives. I have this incredible thirst to go everywhere and see as much as I can, and I don’t see that dream dying anytime soon.

The other dream that I am not going to give up on is starting a literacy foundation that helps kids all over the world to read. I already know what I would call it (thanks Soon-Ah), and I know that Reading with Rover would be a thing (because seriously, who doesn’t want to read with a dog?). I have a degree to finish, and some student loan debt to pay off, but once I manage that, then I am seriously going to figure out what it would take to start helping kids love books as much as I do.

In other exciting news, I officially get to cross another thing off my list. Today marks the 3 month point of making my bed every day. It is a habit now, and not just something I am doing to cross off the list. I am hoping that because I was able to make this a habit, that things like a solid exercise  routine will now be easier to manage.

Here’s to hoping.

  1. Learn how to drive in the UK.
  2. Present at an academic conference
  3. Start a new tradition
  4. Go back to therapy
  5. Visit three new countries
  6. Ride in a hot air balloon
  7. Quit the tutoring centre
  8. Volunteer for a literacy programme
  9. Read a book that has more than 500 pages
  10. Make my bed everyday for at least three months
  11. Have a solid draft of my thesis completed
  12. Master scorpion pose
  13. Attend the symphony
  14. Learn a rap song from start to finish
  15. Host a dinner party
  16. Create a  budget so I can pay down my student loans
  17. Create something original
  18. Create a solid workout regime
  19.  Go on a long hike (6 miles or more)
  20. Learn to dance
  21. Eat an exotic meal
  22. Learn to cook a fancy meal
  23. Yell at a football match
  24. Go horseback riding
  25. Master British spelling and punctuation
  26. Create a good sleep schedule
  27. See my favorite group in concert
  28. Fall in love
  29. Stop holding grudges
  30. Let go of my expectations

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge:Week 18

Posted on by erranteditor

The weather forecast for the weekend promises warm weather for the weekend.

Well, 53 degrees, which is warm for Scotland. I am working all day Saturday, but you can bet your butt that I will be spending a part of my Sunday outside enjoying the warm weather. I might even wear leggings that end just below the knee (although that might scare people, so I may have to reconsider that option).

I’ve been in a serious funk for the last few weeks, and today I finally get to see the therapist and get back to feeling better. That makes this week’s writing challenge all the more fun. Week 18 is dedicated to something that I like I about myself. While I tempted to say I like my sarcasm and call it a day, there is actually a lot I like about myself.

I think the one trait or feature that I like most about myself is my self-awareness. It took a lot of therapy, and a long time to develop, but now that it is a part of me, I am grateful for it. While I do not always focus on the things that I know, and deal with the problems or the issues that I recognize in a timely manner, I am glad that I can at least spot them. I made the mistake of letting my depression go unchecked here for almost a year, and while I pretended it wasn’t that bad, in the back of my mind I knew that it was something that I needed to take care of.

I would have to say that another thing that I like about myself is that no matter how bad I get, how negative, how sick, or how sad, I seemed to have found a way to make some really strong connections with people. I have some really amazing friends and family that make me own my shit, that sit with me when I cry, and tell me that I don’t have to do anything by myself. My mom is helping me pay for therapy (seriously, my one complaint with health insurance is that it is hard to get mental health covered, and see a doc is expensive), my sister sends me baby pictures and videos everyday, and I get Skype dates as often as I can. I know that says more about them than it does about me, but I like that I was able to make those connections, and that there is something about me that keeps those people from throwing in the towel when I get to be a pain in the ass.

I guess I’m not so bad after all.

The Scamp and the Writing Challenge: Week 17

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I know that it is technically the start of week 18, but I got a little lazy with the schedule, so I am catching up today.

Today when I spent a good portion of the day on my feet, feeling tired and resentful. I’ve been working with a girl who thinks she is the queen of the tutoring centre, and today she complained that her throat felt sore and she shouldn’t have to manage a group of kids. There were two other people in the centre: me, who has been dead on her feet for the past week, and another woman. Now, this woman just came back after suffering a devastating loss, a loss that she cannot tell anyone about…a loss that would have flattened me. She did not complain about being in the centre, did not complain about the work that we needed to do, and volunteered to work a zone and be with the kids. I took the kiddos so she didn’t have to, but she was more than willing. This was the second shift in a row that the first girl passed the work to everyone before even thinking of doing anything.

Off topic, but it made me really cranky, and much as I am trying to make myself better, as much as I am trying to break old habits, when I am cranky, I revert right back to the negative mindset I am most comfortable in.

Maybe a focus on this will help me. The task for week 17 is to write a letter to my teenage self. So here goes:

Dear Teenage Kim,

Believe it or not, you did not have a heart attack in your your teenage years. You actually make it to adulthood. For the most part you make pretty good life choices, but there a few things that you should know:

  1. Stop worrying about every little thing. The world is not going to end if you fail a class, or a test (in fact, you do that later in life, and nothing bad happens to you), and no one is going to think less of you.
  2. Take swimming seriously. You are going to slack off, but that is such a bad idea. You were in good shape, you weren’t horrible, and it is way better than trying to be a runner.
  3. The people you are friends with now, the ones you think you’ll be friends with forever, will not be your friends in ten years. If you really want to keep some of them, you are going to have to work really hard and be prepared to be disappointed, a lot.
  4. In fact, you are going to feel disappointed in people a lot, sometimes in the ones that matter the most, but mostly in the ones who don’t live up to your expectations.
  5. Also, you are going to have drop those expectations. No one, and very few things ever meet them. You’ll save yourself a lot of heartache if you let that shit go.
  6. Go to therapy. You don’t go until almost a decade later, and trust me, you wasted a lot of time being depressed.
  7. Don’t worry about your virgin status. It will be worth it to wait, and even though you will make some bad choices, you don’t get pregnant, you aren’t gossip for anyone, and you’ve never had an STD. A lot of your friends cannot say the same.
  8. Don’t ignore your wanderlust. You turn down a year of studying abroad, a year of teaching English in another country because you are afraid that people will forget you, afraid of what will happen if you leave, but trust me, when you are travelling, you are alive and happy.
  9. You’ll be 26 before you are comfortable with yourself. It is a really long learning process, but take it as it comes
  10. You age like a fine wine. You are way better looking now that you wear more than jeans and a hoodie. Guys tell you that you are hot. They walk through restaurants in Spain to check you out. It is fun. Enjoy it.
  11. You will get hurt a lot when you are out of your teens. A lot. Devastatingly painful hurt that you are completely unprepared for. I can tell you that there are days you don’t get out of bed and you have no idea how you are going to keep going, but you do keep going, and in the end, that is all that matters.
  12. You eventually figure out how to let people past the snark and sarcasm. This leads to you crying. A lot. You also become a really ugly crier, so make sure that you bring tissues with you to meetings or other situations that you think might make you cry. Seriously. The amount of snot you produce is insane.
  13. Skip school once in awhile. No one will care that you never missed a day of school when you are 29.

Bad things are going to happen to you. Bad things that came from choices that you made as a teen. I wish I could tell you to make different choices, save you from the hurt. But it wouldn’t be right. You will learn a lot from some of that hurt, and it will lead you to some really good people and some really great experiences. When you are 25 you will make the best decision of your life. At 28, you will do it again. Trust those. Those choices will make you happier than anything else you’ve ever done (including flying…yes, you get to fly, and then you almost puke in front of a really cute guy….not you at your best) and even on the bad days (and there will be a lot of those, sorry), you will be happy, and genuine and be surrounded by people that understand you, people that actually like you for your weirdness and  your wanderlust, and that, teenage Kim, makes everything you will do from then to me worth it.

With sass and snark,

29 year old Kim