The Scamp Abroad

The Scamp Runs Out of Words

Posted on February 13, 2014 by erranteditor

I usually make a “to do” and a “not to do” list. The first list is homework assignments, phone calls, errands to run. The second list is things like “don’t nap in the middle of the day” and “don’t waste time on the Chive”.

Today I did everything from one list, and nothing from the other. I’m tired, my couch is the most comfortable spot in the house, and I made the mistake of trading my jeans for my comfy pjs.

I woke up from the nap because I got cold, not because I was ready for it to be over. Even now, I don’t have any witty things to say, don’t have enough energy to work on my book report, and don’t even have the energy to surf the internet. I can’t afford to take the day off of school work, so I am going to try and muster some words and get at least a little bit of work done.

I will be happy when this week is over. I am not getting out of bed before 10 on Saturday….I don’t care what the boy says.

The Scamp and Comment Cards

Posted on February 12, 2014 by erranteditor

This semester is shaping up to be very different than the previous semester. There are still plenty of pages to be read, group projects to be done, and critical issues to explore, but in addition to all of that, we now have to rate our fellow cohort members on how well they did a book report.

Yes, a book report.

It is bad enough that I chose a book that is 800 pages, but having to listen to 20 other reports on books about organizational leadership is torture. The two reports we heard tonight were good, even if the books were not that interesting. My problem is that after class, the professor asked us to write two comments on a note card to give to each of the presenters. One side was a comment of something that the presenter did well, and the other side was one thing that the presenter could improve on.

Everyone who knows me well knows that I have no problem sharing my opinion, but in the case of these presentations, I feel it is unfair for me to judge. The books that we are reading cover a lot of material, and it is hard to fully explore all of the topics in 15 minutes, and with the ever changing guidelines from the teacher, it is really hard to set up an effective presentation. I had plenty of good things to say to both of the presenters, but found it very difficult to find something constructive to write for improvement.

Do I mention the lack of in-depth analysis for each category of effective leadership? The presentation was only 15 minutes, and one of the categories alone could have taken 15 minutes to explain.

Do I mention the lack of visual aid? The professor told us that we should not rely on PowerPoints and fancy visuals to get out point across.

Do I mention the 19 page outline when the instructions say 3-5 pages? The outline is really good, and it allows me to skip reading the book, but still be able to reference it in a paper or essay I will eventually have to write. He took the time to give us all the info he thought we would need. The other outline was only 3 pages, and still very good, but I would have to read the book to really be able to use it as a reference.

In the end, I went with some generic comments about slowing down when speaking and having some sort of visual aid for those of us who learn better with pictures. It feels like a copout though, and I am not sure I will enjoy the 20 other critiques that I have to do.

I also dread the ones that I am about to receive. I know “tone down the sarcasm” will be written on at least one card.

Ed.D Phase

A Scamp and Some Words

Image | Posted on February 10, 2014 by erranteditor

The Scamps Confronts Some Uncomfortable Feelings

Posted on February 6, 2014 by erranteditor

We called her Dragon Lady.

We mocked her love for ugly rooster adorned objects. In fact, we had a rooster tile that we use to pass around the family at Christmas time and laugh when she didn’t get the joke.

She once told a room of strangers that the best way to tell me and Kelly apart was to look at our faces. Mine was fat.

She used to ask my mom what her and my dad possibly had to talk about since he never went to college (as revolting as the thought is, I always wish my mom had said that they don’t need to talk during sex so it didn’t matter).

She belittled my family as often as possible, and constantly bragged about how wonderful her children and grandchildren were.

She lied about her age. She subtracted 10 years from her age, and it wasn’t until almost 20 years later that anyone knew how old she really was.

She got cancer, and then got incredibly ill. She had round the clock nurses, and my granddad was forced to care for her because her family was nowhere to be seen. He himself is in his 90s and dealing with stomach cancer, but put all of that on hold to take care of her.

Today she died.

I would love to say that I was sad when I heard the news. I would even love to say that I was surprised. We all knew that this was coming, and the first thing that I thought of was, “Now granddad is free! Now he can take care of himself. Now he can go see the Crazyhorse monument because he doesn’t have to be tethered to her care.”

In truth, I felt nothing. I am glad that she is not in pain anymore, and not miserable. I am glad that the stress and suffering that came with taking care of her is over, but other than that, I felt nothing about hearing the news. I am having a large internal debate today on whether or not I should be more sad, and whether or not my reaction to her passing is okay. I did not like her, and in the last five years have seen her maybe twice. Should I be sad? Should I offer to do things for my dad should he need it?

Feelings. Sometimes they suck.

The Scamp Reaches

Posted on January 30, 2014 by erranteditor

Today I sound like a strangled goose. The cold came out of nowhere, and I feel icky. I think the boy gave it to me, but in truth, I am sure the stress of the last few weeks didn’t help. I tried to muscle through work today, but I did not get as much done as I would like.

The problem with feelings like this is I tend to get sucked into the negative. I throw a little pity party, and wallow in my feelings until they drive me crazy. I’d like to say that it is just the winter blues, but since California has yet to have a cold day.When I was in Scotland, I recognized that I needed some help, and I was strong enough in my surroundings to get the help. The little wellness center tucked between the walls of a souvenir shop and an Indian restaurant helped me discover that not only was I not crazy, but I wasn’t broken either.

I don’t have that support system here. Sure, I have my family and a few really good friends here, but without insurance, I have been reluctant to seek the help, even just for a check in and a reminder that I am not as batshit crazy as I think I am.

My class being cancelled, lapses in planning and organization, and the overwhelming urge to stick my head in the sand has made me rethink that reluctance.

Luckily I am surrounded by people that encourage me to do what I need to do to get through the days. Two of my best friends have been more than willing to talk to me about the benefits of professional help, and that hiding in bed all day is not a good idea.

In the meantime, a little snuggling with my cat will have to get me through.

A Scamp and the Inappropriate

Posted on January 21, 2014 by erranteditor

I’m pouting about the fact that I have to go back to school tomorrow, and had to spend a lot of money on textbooks that I know I will never read again. In an effort to make myself feel better, I am going to post books that I wouldn’t mind seeing as part of the reading list.

*Read at your own risk…..a lot of these titles are massively inappropriate. There is no offense intended by the language, pictures, and cultural implications of these. I simply find them funny and helpful in fighting my post vacation blues.

A good introduction to anatomy and physiology.

A touching tale about love and loss.

Let’s face it, farts are funny.

Because sometimes, “follow the leader” is boring sober.

Helping little girls feel better about themselves since 1951!

Truer words have never been spoken

A good introduction to nontraditional career paths

For the days when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed

I would definitely be okay with these titles on my bookshelf. As part of being an adult though, I guess I will just have to settle for Introduction to Organizational Theory, APA style guides, and books on how to conduct mixed methods research.

A Scamp and Poetry

Posted on January 16, 2014 by erranteditor

The Scamp and the New Year

Posted on January 4, 2014 by erranteditor

With three days into the new year, I don’t think it has really sunk in yet that it is 2014. The last year went by in a blur of good, bad, and everything in between. I got to live in Scotland, fell in love, got my heart broken, and learned how ask for help while I heal. I earned a degree, wrote my best piece of academic writing, and started the process of earning a doctoral degree. I made a lot of new friends, got the chance to reconnect with old ones, and learned to let go of a lot of negative energy (and people for that matter).

I’d say 2013 was pretty darn good to me.

I have high hopes for 2014. So far it is off to a good start. I got to start the year bowling with the boy and our friends, and then lay by the pool and soak up some sunshine while they nursed hangovers. I am more relaxed then I have been in awhile, and although I have not gotten as much homework done as I should have, I am feeling quite accomplished. The only thing I have yet to tackle is the financial aid issue that has been plaguing me since October. By Monday I hope to have that resolved. I have a teaching job that will hopefully lead to something more permanent, and fate is being kind to me while I don’t have health insurance.

In an effort to keep this year in the positive, my mother and I have taken up a challenge.

At the end of the year we will crack a bottle of rum and read all of the funny/wonderful/memorable things that happened to us. So far my notes have yet to be awe inspiring, but since it is only day 3, I am optimistic about the quality of notes that will go into the jar.

In the meantime, ,I will continue to drive my parents crazy, drive the boy crazy, and work my butt off in my program and with my students and get ready to embark on my crazy research adventure. I look forward to all that 2014 has to bring.

The Scamp and Gertrude Stein

Posted on December 30, 2013 by erranteditor

NOTHING ELEGANT

A charm is a single charm is doubtful. If the red is rose and there is a gate surrounding it, if inside is let in and there places change then certainly something is upright. It is earnest.

Tender Buttons, 1914

Gertrude Stein saved my date and my failed attempt to woo my boyfriend.

Thank you Ms. Stein.

The Scamp at Christmas

Posted on December 26, 2013 by erranteditor

This time last year I was giving up my family traditions to stay in a failing relationship. I spent Christmas day driving to San Diego to spend the day with the weasel’s family. This time last year I was locked in a viscous battle over a Christmas tree, and whether or not it was really necessary for me to pursue a doctoral degree. This time last year, I made the choice not to apply to stay in Scotland. To top it off, at this time last year I was being robbed. I lost books, a necklace of high sentimental value, and my laptop. The laptop had three years worth of research that had been sorted, coded, and parceled out to make changes for my dissertation. This time last year I was trying to figure out how I was going to write a final in two days that I had been working on for a month. I had no money, no job, and no clue how to deal with all of the stress.

This time last year, I was miserable.

What a difference a year makes.

This year I got to spend Christmas with my family. I didn’t have to look at a clock, didn’t have to force myself to drive to someone else’s house, and did not have to give up any of my favorite traditions. I decorated a tree, was vastly inappropriate at the dinner table with my cousins, and didn’t have to skip on seeing a movie with my parents. This year I was able to get a teaching job on top of my library job, and successfully completed my first semester of the my doctoral degree. This year I was not stressed about money, about deadlines, or about making someone else happy.

This year, I got exactly what I wanted for Christmas.

My hope is that the people around me are getting exactly what they want for Christmas as well. I have more than 7 readers this year from all over the world, so I hope that everyone is enjoying their day, however they choose to spend it.

Happy holidays everyone, from one wanderlust filled scamp to all of the amazing people that interact with my ramblings.