Scotland

A Scamp Meets the Family

Posted on by erranteditor

La Habra, California has been described as a place with a liquor store on every corner and more pitbulls than people. That is very different than the picture of La Habra I have, and the way I feel about it when I bring people home to visit. If that is the way I feel about the city I grew up in, I would say that is an accurate view of how my BFF feels about his home, Dundee, Scotland. Dundee would never be called a thriving metropolis, and is known for being a low socio-economic threshold, but it lies within the eastern central Lowlands on the north bank of the Firth of Tay, which feeds into the North Sea. The bus ride into Dundee is quite beautiful, and the bus ride out as the sun was getting ready to set makes the place look peaceful and calm. Even without all of that, I knew that I would enjoy Dundee for the simple fact that it is the birthplace of my BFF and he invited me home to meet his family.

With the exception of David’s family, families love me, and more often than not, I love them. I am also really competitive, so the fact that I am the first (and so far, only) person that has been invited meant that the day promised to be a good one. I was not disappointed. The only downside to the trip was that the day seemed to progress at warped speed and was over before I could properly blink. The trip started off with a quick bus ride. The BFF and I are never short on good banter, so the trip passed quickly. We then met a good friend of his for lunch in a fun little pub. We swapped stories, had some good grub, and then they treated me to a quick tour of the university where they did their undergrad. We followed lunch with a trip to Gran’s house. A good cup of tea and nice conversation followed. I also got to meet the aunt and uncle and very excited boxer. Listening to them all interact and chat with each other was fun. The BFF was very much relaxed, and very happy to be in his gran’s kitchen. From there we moved on to his mother’s house to meet the rest of the family. His mother was very nice and very welcoming. She tried to feed us, and then did the best thing ever and brought me a some great baby pictures. I even got to see him with a tan!!!! This is a big thing for those who don’t know my BFF. He is a proper Scottish boy, pasty skin and all. He hates the sun, and his idea of perfect weather is a cold light rain and possibly some wind. His mom sent us off with a backpack full of food, reminding me a lot of my mom whenever I would visit for the weekend when I was living in California.

The best part of the day was the fact that I had a few hours with the BFF that were just the two of us. We had some serious bonding in the backseat of the car in Belfast, but since then, we haven’t really had a lot of BFF bonding time. He didn’t really know the specifics about heartstompapoolza, but he made sure to show up when I needed a night out and offer me chats and his hatred for David. He is generally antisocial, but he always makes time for me, and checks in with a funny thought or insightful comment. He is one of the things that will most about Scotland.

 

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I got to end the night with some of the other reasons that I will miss Scotland. I got a home cooked Chinese meal and some much needed junk food. I love hanging out with the girls from my program because they understand the need to be random and ridiculous, and they are also quick to remind me that I am not a spinster in the making. They listen to my moans and complaints and fears about going home, and are quick to remind me all of the good that is coming from it.

Even though I am stretched way too thin this week, I am glad that they are willing to carve out time to spend with me before I return to the land of sunshine and movie stars.

 

The Scamp Doesn’t Wanna

Posted on by erranteditor

Today the sun came out. Not only did the sun come out, but it was 63 degrees! My legs saw the sun today. I wore my toms instead of boots and tights. I walked around without a jacket. I felt great.

Until I didn’t.

I only have ten days left of my adventure here and I have come to the realization that I do not want to go home. I like the safety of my Scotland bubble. There are no painful memories here, no worries about a social circle and friends, and in my little fantasy land, there is no worries about bills, my lack of job and paying for school next semester. I ran out of time to travel, and was unable to see some of the other parts of the UK that I thought I would get to. The end has snuck up on me. I’m not ready. I still have yet to hear from my supervisor about a meeting and have to wait until tomorrow to get the paperwork signed for my leave of absence. I know that I pushed a lot of this to the last minute, but I am a little disheartened at the lack of support from the professors. I hope this isn’t a pattern that will be repeated for the next four months. It will be harder for me to get things done when I am more than 5,000 miles away.

Today I was up at half 6. I read 3/4 of a Stephanie Plum novel before I finally got up and decided to start the day. I’mm not sure what has been disrupting my sleep pattern, but it is on the fritz lately. I have been having nightmares about David which leave me feeling sad and empty, and I am worried about my dissertation and the research that I am doing. I know that these two things are just a product of stress, but I am worried that they will take over and I will go back to being dark and twisty. I don’t want to be dark and twisty.

Last night I packed up parts of my room to ship home. That made the end of the journey seem more real. Today I took the first box to the post office to send on home. While that doesn’t seem like a hard task, I had to carry the box and walk the 10 minutes to the office. The box didn’t seem heavy, but by the time I reached my destination, my arms wanted to fall off. I still have two more boxes that have to be walked and shipped. I’m thinking I am going to wait until Thursday to do the second box and I will take care of the third one on Monday. In the meantime, I am going to do some pushups and work out my little chicken arms.

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I need a pint….or maybe three.

Tour Guide Scamp: Day 3

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Can you guess what we did today? If you guessed a boat ride, you would be correct.

Today was less about walking, and more about enjoying the view. The Firth of Fourth is truly a wonder, and all of those who know my dad knows that he loves the water, so I thought a boat ride under the bridge and out to Inchcolm Island would be a perfect way to spend what turned out to be a sunny day. The wind was in full force, so the ride out to the island was a little rough in some spots, but circling the island was great, seeing the abbey was nice, and the best part of the boat ride: SEEING A PUFFIN! It was quick, but I feel that it was way worth it. I loved being on the water, being in the sunshine, and just seeing another part of the city. I also know that it was something that my dad really enjoyed, and since this is their vacation, that is my main goal.

We stopped in the really posh hotel in town for tea, but we ended up in the restaurant and not the tea room. We had some amazing French onion soup (which I am still tasting) before going back to the hotel to relax a little before dinner.

We passed most of the afternoon watching fun British tv shows. I forget that not everyone is used to the pedestrian lifestyle that I have become accustomed to, so I think the last two days and really worn the parental units out.

We ended the night at Frankenstein’s Castle….and yes, it is just as awesome as it sounds. We had a drink and they munched and then we parted ways for the evening. Tomorrow they will spend the day in the Highlands looking for Nessie while I get to go to dissertation meetings and work on final assignments.

I guess it is time for me to remember that I am still in school. I’m trying to finish strong so I can make a case for the credits to be accepted at Fullerton to save me some time and money (ugggh, fingers crossed). It will also give my parents a chance to have a little alone time on their vacation.

Tour Guide Scamp: Day 2

Posted on by erranteditor

I’m pretty sure the parents are ready to drop kick me to the moon. Today’s tour had them walking up 45 steps of death to visit the castle. I felt really guilty when my mom had to pull out her inhaler….tour guide fail. As much as I hated the steps, seeing the crown jewels and being able to see the entire city was worth it. We spent a good part of the day at the castle going in and out of all of the war museums, looking through the chapel, and watching musket demonstrations. The weather was perfect. I saw the sun today, and I only got cold once (and that is saying a lot for here). Even though I might have finished my time here without visiting the castle, my parents both enjoyed it and that is really all that matters.

After we had seen everything that could be seen at the castle, I took them down the Royal Mile. This is the street for tourists. There are fun shops and restaurants mixed in with some beautiful churches and government buildings. We stopped in one of my favorite little Italian places (I know, I’m in Scotland, why am I eating Italian? Trust me, my parents have already made fun of me) and had the best piece of lemon cheesecake with a lemon glaze of all time (ok, not all time, but I hate cheesecake, so this was amazing). I walked them further down the mile and to the School of Education so my dad could see where I went to class.  We wandered on to Old College because it is a beautiful building and really sells you on the school.

We spent the early afternoon having a drink at the hotel bar. Luckily my parents are the type that can sit and have a drink and people watch without being too fussed about it. We were able to chat and catch up on all the gossip that I have been missing out on at home, and then we talked a little about David and the flaming pile of shit that was. I cried. In a bar. In front of my parents, but while my mom was in the bathroom my dad did his best to tell me that no one is perfect and that even though I know I wasn’t an angel, I did nothing to deserve what I got. Having not really raised girls he is not used to dealing with things like this, but he told to just keep on trucking with my recovery process and that eventually I would come out of this on the other side. While it is what everyone has been saying to me for months, it was still nice to hear it from someone who usually stays out of all the girl drama that goes on in our house.

We finished out the day at an Irish pub near the hotel. I got to enjoy real food, and we even got to watch a little football (and of course, I mean soccer.). We looked at all the funny pictures we took all day of the rubber pirate chicken and his adventure in Edinburgh and then I strolled home. Of course my mother worries about me walking home in the dark, but alas, I have made it safely.

The Irish pub was the same one I sat in a little over a year ago after a long day of campus and city tours and decided that I was going to move here. I took a picture that night, and had my mom take one tonight. I think it pretty much sums up the journey so far.

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This was last March.

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This was two hours ago.

Tomorrow is a ferry ride in the harbor and a tour of the shopping district….which means a lot more walking. Sorry mom.

Tour Guide Scamp: Day 1

Posted on by erranteditor

The day has finally arrived. My parents are finally in Edinburgh for a visit. I haven’t seen them since January, and while I am a little over a month from going home, I cannot begin to describe how excited I am for them to be in my space. For the next 6 days I will be playing tour guide for them in one of my favorite places in the world.

The first day of tourapalooza was not super exciting. The parents are tired and very jet lagged, so after meeting them at the hotel, I showed them the great Greyfriars Bobby and the cemetery that he stayed in for 14 years. Anyone wanting to read the full story can go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greyfriars_Bobby. The cemetery is really quite beautiful, and is nestled in between shops on one of the main streets in the city.

The second stop on the tour was main campus. I pointed out all the important buildings (The campus bar, student health center, library, you know, the usual) and then walked the old people through my favorite park to the dorms.

Stop three was my room in the cesspool. Thank sweet baby Jesus all the undergrads are on Spring break. The dorms were quiet and my parents got to meet some of my friends here.

The final stop on day one of the tour was my favorite Irish pub. We ate, had some drinks, and then I sent them off to their hotel. My mom looked like she was ready to fall asleep at the table. Of course I would have loved to spend more time chatting and catching up, but I have plenty of time for that while I am shuffling them around from castle to museum to pubs around town.

Tomorrow’s agenda includes exploring the castle, hanging out in the tourist part of town, and having dinner with some of the girls in my program. My mom has already promised to bring lots of baby pictures….oh goody.

Call Me Dr. Scamp

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While I drive myself crazy waiting for my parents to get here, I made an important life decision. I have decided that money be damned, I will be joining the 6th cohort of the  Doctorate of Education in Educational Leadership with a specialization in Community College at California State University, Fullerton. I was offered a spot in the 5th cohort and turned it down last year to come here, and while I was here I did a lot of wavering about whether or not I would apply for re-admission. When things with David started to fall apart I thought about putting the degree on hold all together and moving to San Diego to be with him.

The thing is, I loved (well, still love, but I’m working on getting over that) him, but I really want to pursue this degree. I want to teach at the community college level, want to eventually run a writing program at one, and while I can easily do that without an advanced degree, I feel like this program will help give me some tools before I dive head first into the working world. I like being in school, and like being a student. The three degrees that I have now will make me a better teacher, but this degree will make me a better leader. This degree will help me better understand what happens outside of the classroom, and allow me to sharpen my skills as I prepare for total community college world domination.

I’m paying on a massive loan that I took out to pay for this adventure, and part of me is worried about the finance part of this degree. I am going to have to pray that FAFSA comes through and offers me some help, and that in the next few months while I am not working on my dissertation, I can work on finding some money and grants that will help me pay for the next three years ( I joke that I am going to start looking for strip clubs that will hire me, but at this point, I am really looking into the possibility).

Part of me is still hesitant to come home and face all of the things that being home means. I used to joke with David that if we ever broke up I would never return to the US. Part of me still has that thought in the back of my mind. My visa is still good here for another year, and I am sure there are plenty of places that could use a smart mouthed English teacher. I also have thoughts of running away to New Zealand or going back to Australia and hiding out in the sunshine. Ultimately I know that I don’t really want to be that far from my family, and that things will fall into place when I go home, but part of me can’t help but wonder what kind of adventure could be out there waiting for me if I didn’t go home.

In the meantime, feel free to send me advice on places to find money, and get ready to call me Dr. Scamp.

A Scamp Prepares for a Visit

Posted on by erranteditor

 

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Today is my mommy’s birthday! Everyone knows how I feel about her (and those who don’t, go here https://ascampabroad.wordpress.com/2013/03/10/a-scamp-and-her-mom/) Even better than that though, it means that she and my dad are getting on a plane tomorrow to come spend a week with me in beautiful Scotland. I have an exciting week planned for them complete with castle tours, ferry rides, and a possibly a trip to the docks to see the Royal Britannia. I’m even going to let them meet all of the wonderful people that I have met here. I’m excited to be able to show them the city that I live in, but I am more excited that my family will be in my space again.

The last couple of months have been tough on me, and while the girls here have been amazing, I am really craving some family time. I need a hug from my mom, I need to feel connected to my family again. I haven’t seen them since early January, and most of the Skype chats lately where to cheer me up and prepare me for the broken heart that was to come. I want to put that part behind me and be able to laugh and enjoy my time with them. It is my dad’s first time here, and while my mom has been here before, she didn’t get to see much, so I want to make sure this week is the best it can be. The next week of posts will be my time with them and all of the fun things that we do.

An update to yesterday’s aside: I have to prove that I am California resident because I got re-admitted to the PhD. program. The only downside is I got admitted to a program I didn’t apply to, with an emphasis I am not interested in. I’ve emailed the program to see about straightening that out, hoping that it was done in error. Now I am at the mercy of when the course secretary emails me back. I’m proud to say that my reaction was to laugh at the situation. Those of you who know me really well know that two years ago I had a lot of trouble with SDSU and paperwork. I would call my mom crying whenever I had a problem with them. I fell to pieces over the smallest of mix-ups and extra steps. This time though, I know eventually it will get straightened out (and I might have to enlist my mom to make a phone call for me), and that it will all work out.

I’d like to think that is me growing up and maturing, but it could just be the excitement of my parent’s visit. Check back in a week to see if I have thrown a hissy fit over it.

A Scamp and Her Dissertation

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I’ve been in the research phase of my degree for a couple of weeks, but all of my focus lately has been trying to pick myself up after David stomped on my heart. Now that I have that pretty much settled on a path to recovery, I can get back to the important part of my journey here: my dissertation.

Today I put my work on fairy tales on hold so that I could meet with the director of the program and move on to the next phase of the degree. I finally figured out who my supervisor is (and I am happy to say that it is the woman that I wanted to work with) and have a mini plan for the next week before I start scheduling weekly meetings with my supervisor. I have decided to give myself a break from the research that I have been doing for the last three years in writing and basic skills education and work in a new area in education. I’ve decided to focus my attention on children’s books, and how the choice of book can determine how children learn about cultural stereotypes. I’m sure the research question will change a couple of times before I get it to something manageable. I had a lot of fun writing about something similar last semester on a smaller scale, so I am excited to get the work underway.

First I have to tackle the essays for class. The essay on fairy tales will be finished tomorrow (fingers crossed) and I can start work on evaluating the lesson plan I created.

On the best side note ever…..I have not heard about whether or not I have been readmitted to the PhD. program, but I got an email from the school about the current state of my residency. It appears that the school  thinks I am Scottish and has invited me to fill out a lot of paperwork to prove that I am in fact a California resident. If I wasn’t going to be charged twice what an in state student pays, I would let them think I was an international student….might help my chances of being readmitted.

I’ve jumped through so many hoops lately I am starting to feel like a trained circus poodle.

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A Scamp and Children’s Books

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Last semester I thought it would be fun to sign up for a class called, “Teaching Texts Across Borders”. The class was described to us as how to to teach children’s literature to various cultures. That, coupled with the fact that it was scheduled to meet on Tuesday afternoons, and thus giving me a perfect schedule of class on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and the rest of my week free made the class a no brainer. I thought I would be sitting on easy street and could focus on the other three classes (two of which I knew were going to suck balls).

Boy was I dumb. The first challenge with the class is that it was moved to Friday afternoons. I am not my best on Fridays, and in the afternoon, forget it! The class is scheduled for prime napping hours, and it seems more often than not, it snows just as the class is letting out and I have to walk home. The second aspect of the class that I misjudged was the type of material that would be covered in the class. I like studying the theory behind literature, and I love children’s literature, but what I am being asked to do in this class is not my idea of fun. Not only the class a lot of talking and tangents about children’s books, but I am expected to read, and keep a diary of all the children and young adult fiction that I read. The Hunger Games is a required reading, and so is surfing fandom sites and reading the reworkings of stories by uber fans (50 Shades of Grey much?) I was expecting to find books like the ones at home, Meg Cabot, J.K. Rowling, and the like, books that have simple plots with happy endings, ones that are predictable and lighthearted. I know that not all books written for children are like this, but the book we went over in class was a creepy take on Little Red Riding Hood, complete with parents who fight, and the possibility of divorce. The story was dark and depressing, and by the end of it, the reader has no idea if the mother is happy to see the father has returned, or if she is merely happy the son has made it home in one piece.

The book is aimed at 4-6 year olds.

The books in the Moray House library are just as good. I’ve read a couple of children’s books that I enjoyed, and were lighthearted, but so far the young adult fiction has been worse than most adult fiction I have read. The first was a story about a girl who had gone mad and the artist her father had hired to help her become “normal” again. The story was poorly written and never really gave a clear explanation on anything. Suddenly by the end of the story, the governess is really a sister, and the “crazy” sister is now a famous artist loved by all. The second book though, that is the good one. That one takes place in the future (although that is not made clear, I had to wikipedia that) at the outbreak of a mysterious third world war. There is no named enemy, and no reason given for the war. The important part of the story though is that a girl is sent to live with her cousins in England for a summer, and while there, this war breaks out. For awhile, the war does not affect the kids, and while they are enjoying a life without adults (their aunt/mom is killed trying to get across the border and back to her family) the American girl falls in love with her cousin….her first cousin. They begin a sexual relationship. No one thinks of their relationship as wrong, and no one tells them they should do otherwise. The war drives the boy crazy, and the story ends with the girl making it back to the farm to be with her cousins and put her life back together after the war. The boy is now a mute who cuts himself and may or may not talk to vegetables. The story ends with the girl picking up the relationship with her cousin and adjusting to the way he is now.

WTF?

This books is marketed for 12 year olds. I don’t have a 12 year old, and I was reading “adult” novels at 12, but good grief. What kind of story is that? Underage sex with your first cousin? More importantly, how do I discuss this story in a class with Chinese girls who barely understand English, and would be horrified at the subject of this book.

On the upside, I think I found my final assignment topic: how absurd and effed up can children’s books be in the UK before someone thinks twice about letting kids read them?

This is going to be a long semester.

 

A Scamp and the Wind

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I hate the wind. It scares me. When I was a kid, I used to freak out when the wind blew, and lord help anyone near me if something was swinging (I know, I am a very strange person). While I grew out of my fear of things that swing, I never did quite grow out of my fear of the wind. When I was younger, and it was still socially acceptable to have a bed covered in stuffed animals, I would pile all of the stuffies around me, and use them to block out the sound. As I got older, I noticed the wind less and less, and a few years ago I got help blocking out the wind from a little thing called Trazadone. I knew that places like Chicago weren’t for me. Any place called the Windy City promised a few sleepless nights for me. I liked my California bubble, with few windy days, and a lots of sunshine.

It never occurred to me that the wind would be so violent here. On a windy day, I could very easily get blown over on my way to school. The only thing that saves me most days is my heavy book bag and my wellies. The wind here blows snow and rain in your face, and makes the most awful sound when coming through poorly insulated windows. For the last few days the wind has been howling at night, bringing with it rain against the windows, and uncovering a childish fear. This time there are no stuffies to pile around me to make me feel comforted and safe. I’m not afraid of the wind now (I know that it can’t hurt me, and all those comforting things parents say to their kids when they are young and afraid), but I still don’t like the wind, and still wish that I was at home in bed curled up with my cat, or with David (even though he does not understand why I don’t like the wind). Tonight will be one of those nights where I throw on a podcast so that I fall asleep to the sounds of familiar voices rather than to the sounds of the wind.

Since I spent most of the day sleeping, I will need all the sleep I can get now, so that I do not repeat the trend tomorrow.