School Days

A Scamp and Children’s Books

Posted on by erranteditor

Last semester I thought it would be fun to sign up for a class called, “Teaching Texts Across Borders”. The class was described to us as how to to teach children’s literature to various cultures. That, coupled with the fact that it was scheduled to meet on Tuesday afternoons, and thus giving me a perfect schedule of class on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and the rest of my week free made the class a no brainer. I thought I would be sitting on easy street and could focus on the other three classes (two of which I knew were going to suck balls).

Boy was I dumb. The first challenge with the class is that it was moved to Friday afternoons. I am not my best on Fridays, and in the afternoon, forget it! The class is scheduled for prime napping hours, and it seems more often than not, it snows just as the class is letting out and I have to walk home. The second aspect of the class that I misjudged was the type of material that would be covered in the class. I like studying the theory behind literature, and I love children’s literature, but what I am being asked to do in this class is not my idea of fun. Not only the class a lot of talking and tangents about children’s books, but I am expected to read, and keep a diary of all the children and young adult fiction that I read. The Hunger Games is a required reading, and so is surfing fandom sites and reading the reworkings of stories by uber fans (50 Shades of Grey much?) I was expecting to find books like the ones at home, Meg Cabot, J.K. Rowling, and the like, books that have simple plots with happy endings, ones that are predictable and lighthearted. I know that not all books written for children are like this, but the book we went over in class was a creepy take on Little Red Riding Hood, complete with parents who fight, and the possibility of divorce. The story was dark and depressing, and by the end of it, the reader has no idea if the mother is happy to see the father has returned, or if she is merely happy the son has made it home in one piece.

The book is aimed at 4-6 year olds.

The books in the Moray House library are just as good. I’ve read a couple of children’s books that I enjoyed, and were lighthearted, but so far the young adult fiction has been worse than most adult fiction I have read. The first was a story about a girl who had gone mad and the artist her father had hired to help her become “normal” again. The story was poorly written and never really gave a clear explanation on anything. Suddenly by the end of the story, the governess is really a sister, and the “crazy” sister is now a famous artist loved by all. The second book though, that is the good one. That one takes place in the future (although that is not made clear, I had to wikipedia that) at the outbreak of a mysterious third world war. There is no named enemy, and no reason given for the war. The important part of the story though is that a girl is sent to live with her cousins in England for a summer, and while there, this war breaks out. For awhile, the war does not affect the kids, and while they are enjoying a life without adults (their aunt/mom is killed trying to get across the border and back to her family) the American girl falls in love with her cousin….her first cousin. They begin a sexual relationship. No one thinks of their relationship as wrong, and no one tells them they should do otherwise. The war drives the boy crazy, and the story ends with the girl making it back to the farm to be with her cousins and put her life back together after the war. The boy is now a mute who cuts himself and may or may not talk to vegetables. The story ends with the girl picking up the relationship with her cousin and adjusting to the way he is now.

WTF?

This books is marketed for 12 year olds. I don’t have a 12 year old, and I was reading “adult” novels at 12, but good grief. What kind of story is that? Underage sex with your first cousin? More importantly, how do I discuss this story in a class with Chinese girls who barely understand English, and would be horrified at the subject of this book.

On the upside, I think I found my final assignment topic: how absurd and effed up can children’s books be in the UK before someone thinks twice about letting kids read them?

This is going to be a long semester.

 

A Scamp and the Wind

Posted on by erranteditor

I hate the wind. It scares me. When I was a kid, I used to freak out when the wind blew, and lord help anyone near me if something was swinging (I know, I am a very strange person). While I grew out of my fear of things that swing, I never did quite grow out of my fear of the wind. When I was younger, and it was still socially acceptable to have a bed covered in stuffed animals, I would pile all of the stuffies around me, and use them to block out the sound. As I got older, I noticed the wind less and less, and a few years ago I got help blocking out the wind from a little thing called Trazadone. I knew that places like Chicago weren’t for me. Any place called the Windy City promised a few sleepless nights for me. I liked my California bubble, with few windy days, and a lots of sunshine.

It never occurred to me that the wind would be so violent here. On a windy day, I could very easily get blown over on my way to school. The only thing that saves me most days is my heavy book bag and my wellies. The wind here blows snow and rain in your face, and makes the most awful sound when coming through poorly insulated windows. For the last few days the wind has been howling at night, bringing with it rain against the windows, and uncovering a childish fear. This time there are no stuffies to pile around me to make me feel comforted and safe. I’m not afraid of the wind now (I know that it can’t hurt me, and all those comforting things parents say to their kids when they are young and afraid), but I still don’t like the wind, and still wish that I was at home in bed curled up with my cat, or with David (even though he does not understand why I don’t like the wind). Tonight will be one of those nights where I throw on a podcast so that I fall asleep to the sounds of familiar voices rather than to the sounds of the wind.

Since I spent most of the day sleeping, I will need all the sleep I can get now, so that I do not repeat the trend tomorrow.

A Scamp and a Blizzard

Posted on by erranteditor

Okay, it wasn’t really a blizzard….the snow wasn’t even sticking to the ground, but thanks to the wonderful wind here, there were some fun little squalls that made walking to school a really fun adventure.

Thus ends my love affair with the snow. I know I was all excited to be living in a place with snow, and I even enjoyed my walk home last Friday in the tiny flurry. This week though, not so much. The ground is slippery, the wind blows the snow in my face, and all the cold just makes me want to stay in bed with a book or a good movie. I have to say, the city is just as beautiful covered in snow as it is in the rain and on rare days when the sun comes out, so at least for a little while longer I can hold on to the motto that started this journey, “It may be bad, but at least it is bad in Scotland.”

This was a big week for me. I finally finished the last of my essays, paid the last of my fines at the library (I’m no longer a felon in their eyes so I guess that means I need to start checking out the textbook and doing my homework again…..darn), and got any lingering confusion of what to do this semester out of my brain. This week I also learned about compromise and standing up for something that I really want. After a lot of back and forth (and a lot of tears on my part) David and I finally ended our battle over family traditions. It was a battle of who could be more stubborn, and I really thought I had ruin our relationship by opening by what will now hence forth be known as the Christmas Tree Can of Worms. David though, for his part kept saying that one fight did not end a relationship, but after a lot of talking, some yelling, and tears, lots of tears, he made a huge compromise for me so that I could keep a very important family tradition. I know that he did not want to give him (and I joke that he only did to end the fight), but the fact that he did, and does not seem the least bit fazed by it means a lot to me. I’m a big fan of compromise, especially when I am not the only one doing it, and his willingness to compromise is important. I’m happy that we are settling back into a comfortable routine of just missing each other all the time.

While the wind is working its magic outside, it is not currently snowing. My hope is that the snow holds off until about 3pm tomorrow when I make it back to my room with the slew of children’s books I now get to read for my Friday afternoon class (who has class on a Friday afternoon. It is really a rant for another day. Just wait for Friday…..). Since I have no papers to write and I am caught up on my reading for the week, I think I may just enjoy my time after class tomorrow….even if it snows.

A Scamp and the Climate

Posted on by erranteditor

I know that  have officially gone crazy when the first words out of my mouth when I heard that it was 36 degrees was “Oh it’s warm today!” The walk to the library was actually not completely unpleasant  and not all of the puddles I passed were frozen. I’d like to think that this means I have adjusted to this climate, but when the wind blows next time I am out, or it snows more than just little flurries, I know that I will be singing a new tune. Today, there is sunshine. I like sunshine. I miss sunshine. I enjoy that the climate seems to be smiling on me today and allowing me a little bit of sunshine with the chilling cold. I feel that I have a good chance of making it until April without completely hating life, and that thought puts a little spring in my step.

The weather is not the only climate I am having fun getting back into. I have very much enjoyed getting back into the academic mindset. I was able to get a paper done in six hours that I had barely looked at in six weeks at home, and I actually completed reading for class next week. I had some fun tasks to deal with thanks to the robbery, and I was able to pay all the fines and make a woman feel incredibly guilty without having a complete mental breakdown (side note: When helping a patron with a large fine to pay, the appropriate statement is, “How can I help you take care of this?”, not, “Well, you better have a good story for this one!” It is also not nice to smile when I tell you I’ve been robbed, and then ask me how I would like to pay for it). I did not cry once (although I will when I see my credit card bill, and when I have to ask my mom for money in a few months). I have been to all of my new classes, and I have to say that I already enjoy them….even the class that will be solely based on statistics. Classes end at the end of March, and I have a feeling that I will wake up tomorrow and it will be the end of March. I’m both saddened and excited by that idea.

There is one climate here that I am not adjusting to very well. I’m having a hard time with the long distance part of the long distance relationship. I am this close to ruining the whole thing.I’m really good at that. Ruining things that were working out in some version of okay. I did that to the only other serious relationship I have ever been in, and although the relationships are different, and I am different, I can’t help but notice a pattern emerging. I am stuck on a family tradition that I think is important. I’m worried about losing it for the next 70 years, and instead of focusing on what I have to do today, I am focused on what will happen inthose 70 years. Instead of just being the bright shiny flower I always am, I am being a right proper shit and insisting that I get some sort of resolution to a problem that I created. I want to see tangible evidence of something that probably won’t exist, and instead of just being in the moment and enjoying the fact that right now we are in some form of love, I am opening my mouth as wide as it will go and sticking as many feet as I can find in it. I have no idea how the next few days will play out, I know how I want it to, but it takes two to be in a relationship and only one to walk away.

I do know that I am not walking away.

I will now shlep myself to the library so that I can start a paper that I should have started six weeks ago. Really that means I am going to go to the 5th floor and stare out the window of my favorite view of the city.

A Scamp and Sleep

Posted on by erranteditor

It is 7:35 am in Scotland. I have been trying to sleep since midnight. Nothing is working. I tried yoga, I tried listening to my favorite Chet Baker album, I tried watching movies, I tried meditating, I tried to shut off my brain. For some reason, none of that worked. I took my sleeping pill (which I think I should get a refund on), but no sleep came. I’m worried about my papers. I have two of them that still need to be done, and so far, I have only written 1,000 words. That is not nearly enough to be on track for the deadlines. I’m tired, and in being tired I have lost my motivation. Everything I type seems pedantic, and I get distracted by shiny objects and bad movies on youtube, Even now, I have moved off this page several times to watch bits of West Wing. I am even trying to work on my papers, but quickly gave that up because I am sure that whatever I write right now will sound completely insane. I’d rather take notes and try to put things on paper so that I can go over them in a few hours after what promises to be a shitty meal and possibly a nap.

I have 4 hours until I am supposed to be at brunch. In 10 minutes my alarm will go off and I should be getting out of bed to get some work done. I think I may reset the alarm and try and take a nap before brunch. In truth, what I will end up doing is going over a book and taking notes for the paper. and trying to figure out how to move to part two. I’ll also send part of it to my mother so that she can help me rewrite it so it fits the prompt.

David’s mom is a well respected sleep doctor. She joked to me before I left that she knew a great sleep doctor that could help me work out my sleep issues…..maybe I should have taken her up on that.

 

A Scamp and a Break-Up

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Breaking up is hard to do……except when it isn’t.

With the help of Jade, the most amazing person in Scotland, I was able to end my most contentious and harmful relationship to date. Two days ago I moved out of my room in a hallway full of assholes and into Jade’s wing, a hallway full of actual postgrads. It has only been two days, but not having to hear the door slam when the drunk guys comes home, and not being jarred out of a peaceful sleep at 3 am to hear the slutty girl at the end of the hall negotiate sex deals is by far the best thing about living in this dorm so far. I’m so grateful that Jade was able to sweet talk the powers that be and finagle a move with only two days notice. I know that I will be able to enjoy myself a little more without being harassed and annoyed on a daily basis.

I do wish this break-up allowed me to find a little motivation. I’m still pretty jet lagged, and had a hard time dragging my lazy butt out of bed before 1 pm. I was able to meet my page goal for the day, but it took a lot of coaxing, and lot of erasing and redoing. I have to get my butt in gear so I can start the third paper, and I have a feeling that means that I am going to have to drag myself to the library. That will force me to actually get out of my sweats, and the walk in the cold will wake me up and get me in the mood to write. Right now, it isn’t happening and one of the papers is due at the end of next week, with the other not too far after that. I do not want to have to use the extensions, and I do not want to get another grade that I am dissatisfied with.

All in all, I have to say my return to Scotland has been a very happy one. I have enjoyed catching up with Jade and hearing all of her stories, and I had the best time catching up with the Ed Lang girls. I consider myself very lucky to be in a program with 12 girls that I like and respect and have so much fun with. I hope that the next few months goes slow enough that I can enjoy my time with them. Classes start again on Monday, and my first class is on Wednesday. It will be back to the grind, and back to the routine of class and reading and those lovely research methods videos. Before I know it, it will be May and time for me to back up and go home.

I’m not sure I am ready to think about that yet.

A Scamp at the Half

Posted on by erranteditor

Today was the last class of the Fall semester. I’m officially halfway through the course work.

It also happens to be Thanksgiving. Although the day was rainy and cold, I think that it was fitting that I end my first half of my coursework on my favorite holiday. I am happy to be finished. I’m happy to be going home in a few days to recharge and escape the idiots that live on the third floor of the dorm. I’m happy that in the first half of my adventure here that I got to really know the city and the people that I live and go to school with. I did not have a lot of the culture shock/homesickness that most people face when they move, and if it wasn’t for my family being so far away, I would be more than happy to stay. I’m happy that the weather has been kind to me and allowed me to stay dry more days than not, and I am  happy that four years ago my best friend listened to my request for wellies.

I won’t turn this into one of those cheesy “I am thankful for” posts because everyone knows that I am thankful for my adventure, my family, and the people that I get to come in contact with on a daily basis (even the assholes here who make the English people look bad). Instead, since I have wasted enough time putting off the studying and research that I need to do for the three essays I have looming, I am going to spend the rest of the evening watching bad horror movies on YouTube and try and figure out how to be productive tomorrow. I can find 15-20 sources for each of the papers in the next few days, right?

A Scamp and the Holidays

Posted on by erranteditor

Thanksgiving is fast approaching. This is the first time I have ever had to be in class on my favorite holiday, and it will be the first time that I am not celebrating with my family. I have been invited to have an “American Thanksgiving” with some of the people who live in a dorm near the education building, and as tempting as the idea of real food is, I will only know maybe two or three people who are going. I’m not sure I really want to spend the evening with a bunch of strangers when all I really want to do is spend it with my family. The girls in my program, whom I would have loved to spend the day with, are doing Thanksgiving on Friday, and I had already made plans, so unfortunately I will miss that. I know that will be a lot of fun though as many of those girls have never celebrated Thanksgiving before.  I may spend the evening making outlines for my papers and pushing through on the work that has to get done before I go home. By Thursday the countdown will be down to 6 days, so I can just delay my celebration and see everyone when I get back.

I am minorly stressed about the upcoming holidays though. Having no job, and a loan payment to make every month, makes my prospects for Christmas and Hanukkah presents seem slim. I know that no one expects me to bring presents and all that, but I still feel bad that I won’t really be contributing to the holidays. I know that my momma will float me the cash until I am back on my feet, but I feel guilty about leaning her to take care of me. I’m 25, I should be taking care of myself by now.

All in all though, I am a looking forward to going home and having a bit of a break from the dorm. We got our official notice of charges today for the damage that was done to the place. We will get another bill next month, and probably one after that. The RAs, the warden, everyone knows who did it. They even have Facebook pictures to prove it. When they confronted the guy in the pictures, he gave up the people involved, and even offered to split the cost of the damage with the people who destroyed the place, but when the rest of the merry men were confronted, they denied all involvement, and because they need the culprits to confess their crimes before they can charge them, there now 5 charges on my account. Lucky me.

Maybe if I play that awful Thanksgiving song on repeat on their floor all night I will feel better about the charges…..

A Scamp on a Rampage

Posted on by erranteditor

So after yesterday’s lovely interaction with the undergrads, one of the girls that I hang out with emailed the people who run this place and wanted to know why  no one felt the need to stop the bullying. I was against this. I didn’t want to make a big deal of it, I removed myself from the group, and didn’t read any of the 20 something comments. I didn’t even read them when I got screen shots of them just in case. I just wanted to pretend that it didn’t happen and move on. The good thing about these assholes is that they move on quickly. I figured by Monday, they would move on to something else.After reading the email,  the warden deleted the thread, and promised she would talk to the RAs about what is ok on FB. Earlier in the day, the RA who was initially taking part in the conversation told the boys off. All of the boys who got scolded figured I was the one who went crying to him about it, and because two of the girls in the group are my neighbors, they are now camped out in the hall, outside my door (after all, it is the middle point between the two rooms) talking about how I love to cry to people to get my way and how I can’t handle a little bit of truth. I’m pretty sure lonely hag was mentioned at least once, but it could have been more.

On the whole, what a bunch of snobby rich kids say about me means nothing. They know nothing of the real world or hard work, or even responsibility. The thing that bothers me is that I didn’t say anything to anyone other than my friends (and the internet, but since I am not friends with anyone who is involved, none of them saw it). I was trying to mind my own business and hope they found a new whipping boy before the weekend was over. If I wasn’t going to get kicked out of housing, I would swing my door open right now and tell them all to go fuck themselves, and then kick the guy who started all of this in the face. He already looks like a retarded pug with a snobby pushed in face and prissy accent, so I am pretty sure that I can take him. It’s the 6 other guys and two girls I am not so sure about. I am, after all, 1 tiny female.

Moral of the story: Don’t say anything. Next time their is some sort of injustice, I am just going to let it go by me and keep my nose out of it……yeah, like that will ever happen. We all know me and my smart mouth (although this time I did not suggest that any of the boys perform sex acts on each other) will continue to speak out against something not right. Someone has to civilize the savages that live here.

The real moral of the story: It is worth the extra debt to live in dorm that does not allow undergrads. I knew that dorm life would not be all sunshine and roses, but this is starting to get ridiculous. I thought for sure that after the first week they would turn into humans. Thank you UK education system for not counting the first year of university, thus making this an extended spring break for them. Thanks a lot.

Don’t feel too bad for me though. I may have cried yesterday when I had to deal with alone, and I may be near tears now, but I am more angry than anything else. You see people like this on TV shows or in the movies, but you don’t often have to deal with them. It is no fun being the punching bag, but there are a lot more people that deal with a lot worse, so for now, I am going to curl up in bed with a funny movie and appreciate the fact that I had ice cream today,

A Scamp Eats Her Words

Posted on by erranteditor

I have an MA in Rhetoric. I have a BA in Literature. I love words. I love to read them, love to listen to them, and I really love to speak them. It’s that last part that usually gets me in trouble. Today was no exception.

Yesterday the whole of Lee House (the dorm I live in) received an email that since someone (or in this case, a group of people) felt the need to trash the common room, then we were all going to be fined for the repairs if the twat bags who did the crime did not fess up. The dorm has a group Facebook page, and when someone else in the dorm posted about the email (and I know that this girl was not involved in the destruction), the boys who were involved made the comment that since it was only a few pounds per person, we should just be happy and pay the fine. My comment was that it wasn’t the amount of the fine, but the fact that most of us were being punished for a room we don’t go in was not real fair. I then mentioned to the RA who chimed in that he was kidding himself if he thought his urge to the culprits to turn themselves in would do anything. I said if they didn’t respect Lee House enough to not damage property, then they were not going to respect us enough to turn themselves in. Then the little assholes who did the damage started in on me. They called me negative (ok, that one is true) and told me I needed to relax and just pay the fine so that everyone could go back to enjoying the room. Of course he spelled always as all ways, so I itched to correct him and offer to tutor him in spelling (I mean, I teach writing, if you are going to insult me, at least spell things right for fuck’s sake). This led them to question if I even lived in the building, and mock me using youtube videos (for those of you who think this is funny and I am overreacting, please just keep it to yourself) and then decided that of course it was me that damaged everything and stole a cable for the TV and get this, I did it all because Obama is the president. They again misspelled some of their insults, and the urge to correct them was strong, but I didn’t want to feed the fire. Usually, stuff like this wouldn’t bother me. Usually, snobby kids like this who think they rule the world wouldn’t make it on my radar. I’d tell them to go fuck themselves and then move on with my life. After all, in 6 months I will be back home with my family and I will still be in contact with the people here who matter to me.

The thing is, I’ve been off my game lately. The food here sucks, and the twat bags can run rampant with no consequence so I haven’t slept in weeks. I’m tired, I’m hungry, and I don’t have a job, so spending money on nights out to eat a good meal or to get some peace is not quite in my budget. The only thing that is keeping me from going all Carrie up in here is the fact that they’d probably throw me in jail if I killed all of them and then I wouldn’t be able to go home. I’m trying to hold on to the fact that I will be home in a few weeks and at the end of the day these kids are nothing more than a cockroach that needs to be stepped on. Today I have no room for personal attacks or insults or jokes made at my expense because I made a logical point (and once I did it without my usual charm and snark).

If I could go back in time a few hours, I would have simply just grumbled and complained to myself about the fine and went about my business. You’d think I would have learned by now. Instead, I am taking sage advice from one of my best friends, “curl up in bed with your favorite movie and let today pass.”

As postscript to this: I had dinner with my best friends here and they made me feel a lot better. They were angry on my behalf and made me laugh through the meal. I had a good laugh with the rest of the 4th floor as they attempted to make me feel better,  and while I still don’t think that they would have been as upset as I was, they did make it seem less like my fault for opening my mouth and more like them just being assholes. I’m still going to keep my nose out of any Lee House business, but at least I feel less whiny and depressed now. Too bad there is no ice cream.